Tuesday, January 31, 2012

roar

“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.”
― Mary Anne Radmacher


As part of the blogging class I'm taking with Liv Lane, we are posting and sharing "Brave" blog posts and linking up with each other, supporting and encouraging each other.  If you are so moved, I hope you will join us.

I do not consider myself brave.  After reading a couple of blog posts from my classmates, I knew that I couldn't just let them post without stepping out on the limb with them.

First off, I want to say that this blog is a manifestation of bravery for me. It is the place where I keep putting my voice into the ether.  For a long time, I didn't speak out, whispered, kept that voice under control. WildRumpusing is my commitment to myself.  Some days, I am brave, some days, not so much.  Here is one of my bravest posts up until today. And here is another.

As I looked in my archives tonight, I realized that there was one story that I have alluded to, but I have never shared here. Deep breath. Here we go.



I guess it was June of 1986 when Roby had a low grade cold that wouldn’t go away – some fever, feeling yucky, low energy- so I took him to see his doctor. I wish I could remember the guy's name because he was an evil bastard. I took him to the doctor’s appointment where he had a full physical and some tests were done. When he came out to the waiting area, he told me he had gone ahead and tested for AIDS (at the time, that was what we were testing for – not HIV). I reassured him – no way…he’d only been with Grant and AIDS was not in Portland…really. I drove him to work and dropped him off.

A couple of weeks later – after much agonizing and worrying, I got a call from Roby in the late afternoon. I did not have any classes that day, so I was home. It was around 3:00 or 4:00pm – I was not showered but dressed in comfy clothes for around the house. I would get ready later to pick him up after he got off work at 9pm. I answered the phone and it was him – almost unrecognizeable – he was sobbing.

“Hello?”
“Can you come and get me? I have AIDS…” and he began sobbing again.
Stunned, I told him I would be right there…the litany in my mind was so loud, but my heartbeat was louder, “Oh my God, ohmygodohmygod…” Both roared in my ear as I ran to change my clothes and brush my teeth. I paused to think about the fact that I hadn’t washed my hair before my rational mind took over. Who cares? Go to him.

I drove my yellow VW Dasher to Beaverton Town Square praying all the way, “Please let it not be true. Please God, let it not be true.” I went into the store and his co-workers all had looks of concern and compassion on their faces. I walked to the back room and Carol was there. She let me in the back room (employees only) and I found him there, still crying, but less hysterical.

“He called me on the phone and told me I have AIDS. He doesn’t treat AIDS patients, so he told me to find a different doctor. Then he hung up. I’m going to die. I don’t want to die.”

I led him out of the store and took him to the car. I didn’t know what to say or do. Once I started the car, I took his hand in mine and we held hands all the way to his apartment. He didn’t really talk much. He was almost numb – just quiet.

 At the time, getting an AIDS diagnosis was a death sentence. It was early on when we still didn’t know much and there were no medicines to manage HIV and AIDS. This was in the days when we used language like, “He’s been exposed to AIDS.” Later, this became an HIV positive diagnosis. In 1986, being exposed to AIDS meant you had about 2 years to live. People were thrown out of their apartments, lost health insurance, they were beaten up, families abandoned them. Ryan White was diagnosed that year or the year after and a couple of other little boys and their communities burned their homes to the ground. We were very afraid of what would happen.

That night, Roby told JM, Susan, JC and Bill from downstairs. It was a difficult evening – I felt that I needed to be strong, so I didn’t cry in front of him. I just kept reassuring him – “Maybe it’s a mistake. We will find a different doctor.” At one point, I went across the hall and I cried a bit with Susan. I was feeling so lost and devastated – what would we do? How could this have happened?

Later in the evening, we walked downtown for some retail therapy for him. I don’t remember buying anything. He just couldn’t stand being in the apartment that night. I was in a daze. I just followed him and tried to keep my brain under control. We called it an early night but before I left, he asked me the biggest favor I have ever been asked. “Don’t tell anybody.” Of course I agreed. This would start me on a path that shaped my entire adult life. We didn't tell anyone for 9 years.

When I went home, my parents were out and I just went upstairs and in a black, brand new spiral notebook (unlike anything I would normally write in for a journal), I wrote the following:
"Thursday, June 26, 1986 (technically June 27 at 12:09am)

The doctor told Roby he has AIDS. He called him at work and told him over the phone. Roby called me. He was crying so hard he could hardly talk. I picked him up from work. I felt so helpless. I didn't know what to say or how to act. All I wanted was to take him in my arms and hug all his pain away. But I couldn't. I felt a huge wall between us. I tried to put my arm around him, but he seemed to move away. I feel numb. I didn't cry until he told Jenny (M.) and Susan. I felt like I had to be strong. Susan fell apart and sobbed. Later in her apartment, she and I talked. I cried and she somehow knew that I needed for her to tell me it was okay. We talked for awhile. Roby loves her so much. So do I. Even Jenny and I talked. She held me when I cried and held my hand for a while. I felt as if we were friends just then.

I don't know how to feel. This has got to be a mistake. It has to be. I know this is selfish, but I don't want to lose him, I can't. Not now. Not ever."


I remember that I went to bed right after I wrote that. I put the notebook in my nightstand and turned off the lights. Later, my mother came home and checked on me as I was rarely in bed that early. She gave me a kiss on the forehead and closed my door after I assured her that I was ok.

The night that changed my whole life. 


Monday, January 30, 2012

Diving in Headfirst 2012

On Feb. 1, 2012, I will have a book group meeting and start a new class - Letter Love 101 with Joanne Sharpe. I'm excited and overwhelmed at the same time.  Too many things, too fast, in some ways.

At the same time, though, it feels really good to do things that feed the other parts of me - the creative, the thinker, the writer.  I'm still marinating on it all - I think I just have to do it!  Tomorrow is a blog-hop with the How to Build a Blog You Truly Love group, so I know I will write something that I can share with the participants there. I don't know why I'm so reluctant to go out on a limb right now. I think I just have to keep inching out, baby step by baby step.  I feel good about what I'm doing and I know it will all pay off in the end. I just want to be there NOW!  (I know, I know. Patience. Let it happen.) I really do value the journey. I'm just feeling squirmy about it all.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Harry Potter Revisit

I have been going through the Harry Potter movies over the last few weeks, watching one on Sundays until I catch up to the final movie of the series.  I have only seen "Deathly Hallows part II" one time, so I am anxious to see it again.

I saw an interesting debate come up on a friend's Facebook page  - the original post didn't have anything to do with Harry Potter, but a conversation came up where a person expressed the opinion that Harry Potter was demonic and glorified witchcraft.  As I was watching the movie today ("HP and the Half-Blood Prince"), I was thinking about the conversation. It was interesting as some folks felt that "Twilight" was not demonic (because vampires aren't real, because the "good" team in the series did not consume human blood, etc.), but HP displayed witchcraft/magic in a positive light.

As I was watching the part of the movie where Harry and Dumbledore are getting the Horcrux from the pedestal, I was reminded of "The Lord of the Rings". I'm not sure why, exactly, but it made me wonder how those folks feel about that series. It includes magic and good and evil.  Or the Narnia series...that has magic in it. Or "The Wizard of Oz".  Obviously, I haven't had a conversation with the people who were commending, so I'm sure there is much more we could discuss about their perspectives, the reasons they hold the beliefs they do and where the boundary is between acceptable portrayals of fictional magic versus what might be considered unacceptable and how those are determined.  I'm not interested in being argumentative, but I do find it fascinating think about.

There isn't a right or wrong in the situation - just really different views about the world and what is good/bad, acceptable/unacceptable, postive/negative influences, etc.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Good Advice is Good Advice

When I was growing up, once my sister had left the house, my parents always had me bring a friend to events so that I wouldn't be bored.  As I got older, I realized the wisdom of bring friends to social events and other types of get-togethers.  Obviously, there are times when it is great to go to events on my own (I particularly love going to the movies alone), but sometimes it is a good thing to have someone there for protection, intervention, support and encouragement.

I didn't bring a friend this weekend to the conference I went to and while I was surrounded by friends and people I know, I wasn't with anyone.  It wasn't a bad thing - just different than I have participated in such events in the past. I was a little bit freer, but a little bit lonelier.  I think much of it is my own creation, but I don't know how to change it.

The temptation was certainly to hang out with my co-workers and people I see regularly.  At the same time, I didn't want them to feel like they are stuck with me since I am in an administrative position.  I want to be sure that people know they are free to have fun without having me as an albatross around their neck.  I don't know that they see it that way, but I want to be sure they don't, so I think I isolate myself more than I should. I'm working on it. And I think I will bring a friend next time. :)

Friday, January 27, 2012

When Worlds Collide

I went to a conference today and it was a touch overwhelming - there were people from all aspects of my interpreting/professional life.    I saw my former boss who is really responsible for much of the foundation of my practice and accomplishments as an interpreter - she always believed in me and challenged me.  I saw colleagues from my early, early days as an interpreter in K-12 settings and it was SO good to see them.  I saw students from almost every year that I taught in the Interpreter Training Program. I saw interpreters I used to coordinate at the University where I worked.  I saw folks who used to work for the same company I work for now, current employees, people from other states...Just everyone. Long forgotten names and faces.  And generosity.

Today was a good day.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Officially Behind

I've just accepted that I am behind on EVERYTHING. This week has been early mornings and late nights and the whole weekend is going to be that, as well.

I hope that I can catch up on Sunday. The work that is waiting for me is BIG stuff. Important. But sleep is necessary.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I'm So Lucky

I got me some good peeps. That is all.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Real Life, No Frills

I'm am regularly reminded (at least this year) that there is much real life happening when I am looking the other way.  Obviously, we all have the work we do for financial stability, but there is also the work we are meant to do in the world.  I am struggling on the boundary between the two.

Sometimes, sometimes, the work I do in the day-to-day seems ridiculous when I see the work I am meant to do in the world.  Today was one of those days - but that sense of detachment wasn't a bad thing. It allowed me to take things less personally, to worry a little less about perfection.  (I said "a little less"!)

I have a friend who is quite ill and it just serves to remind me that our time here is short and that every minute I spend worrying about doing something perfectly or trying to make everyone happy (knowing that is impossible) is a minute I could be spending making sure that those I love know how I feel about them.

"Live life. This is not a dress rehearsal." I used to have a bumper sticker that said something like that quote. I just need to pay attention more often.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Some New Art Journal Fodder




I was reminded that today is the beginning of Chinese New Year - Year of the Dragon.  May this year bring you much joy and laughter.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Year of Abundance by January 22!

I am taking so many classes and doing so many different events - my cup runneth over this year and it is only January.  Now comes the hard part - saying no to some things that I *really* want to do, but know I can't work out.  That is always a good lesson for me - I'm not good with the NO.

I knew 2012 was going to be a change - the air, the light, the weight of things. I'm still feeling it and still feeling good.  That has been a long time coming.  I'm so excited for all that is coming my way.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Avoiding the Fire

I'm struggling with some of the exercises in both the ecourses I am taking:  How To Build a Blog You Truly Love and A Year With Myself.   I know why I'm struggling - it is delving into the depths of who we are and what we want and where we go from here.  There is a part of me that is seeking this process, these kinds of exercises and the truths of my life and at the same time, I have a fear of it.

It is probably natural to avoid holding a mirror up to oneself or shining a light on some of the things that make us who we are but may not make us feel proud or strong.  I'm hoping that with these practices, it will become easier. I felt like I had to acknowledge my resistance so that maybe I could get through it.

I have been visiting some of the other blogs in the courses and they have so much to share. I hope that I will be able to reach those levels of sharing and authenticity. I'm reaching but I don't always make it.

Friday, January 20, 2012

How Does This Happen?

One of the reasons I don't like to take a bunch of time off around the holidays (I like some, just not too much) is that I end up coming back not only to the pile of work that generates while I'm gone just by virtue of not having anyone else to do it.  There is also the start of all this new stuff and visits and running around.

I find the catching up and the starting off takes away most of the beneficial effects of the time off.  I'm trying to work through it with as much grace and calm as I can, but I feel like I'm treading water just a bit and that frustrates me more.  I know there is a lesson here and if I can step back for few minutes, I will be able to see it. I'm not there yet.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

SOPA and PIPA

I heard an interesting interview about SOPA and PIPA tonight on the radio when I was driving home...and now I'm feeling a little confused about the whole thing. I think I need to do some reading.

The radio show was "The Norman Goldman Show" and he was interviewing a writer (I can't remember his name) about his views about SOPA and PIPA in light of the internet site closures yesterday and the rising/turning tide of the SOPA/PIPA bills.  Basically, his point is that there is just as much corporate interest behind the Internet as there is on the movie studio side. Some of the most powerful interests in the country are involved in this fight and ultimately, no matter what happens, consumers are likely to be negatively impacted.

I need to do more research on all of this - I'm not really sure what it all means to us all.  I know I don't normally post political stuff on this blog, but I feel like this is such a huge issue and it is more complicated than we think it is.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Not Rumpusing this week

I was doing so well, keeping up with all the classes and reading, but I am also hosting an out of town visitor at work and with the weather issues, I just got behind today.  I felt like it was all okay if I was reading it all, but I didn't even read anything today - no time. So, this weekend is going to be a weekend of catching up on my classes and some of the exercises.

I'm definitely over-thinking some of the exercises. I keep thinking that maybe I will really let go if I think things through, but today, I remembered that that is the OPPOSITE of letting go.  I need to stop thinking about my answers and start answering. Stop thinking about what I want to accomplish and start doing it.  Sometimes, I just need a little kick in the butt.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Snow...

I wish I could just enjoy the snow, but I can't.  As an adult and as a person in charge of an office, it wreaks havoc on everything. I hate driving in it.  Hopefully, it will change to rain in the morning.  I didn't even take any pictures of it...


Monday, January 16, 2012

Love and Hate - Martin Luther King, Jr.





   photo: Roee Ruttenberg


"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." - Martin Luther King, Junior (1963)




Procrastination, Thy Name is Jean

I really had plans to do a lot more and I ended up doing absolutely nothing useful. I didn’t work on my classes (although I DID read the new material that was released for them and watched a video for my February Lettering class), my journal, my blog, nothing. I checked Facebook, I played games, I watched some bad television, got annoyed by the news and the panic over “possible snow”. 

Speaking of snow, I have a bone to pick with the news media.  Granted, we live in a very difficult area of the country to forecast, but they are WRONG 99% percent of the time and yet, a few days ago, they had the nerve to do a mocking story about how everyone here panics when it might snow.  I remember the first panic that happened. I think it was probably 1996.  The media actually encouraged businesses to send people home early (like about 2pm) because we were heading for a “blizzard”.  Since it was the first time anyone had heard that kind of report in this area, people took it seriously and schools and businesses closed and sent everyone home. All at the same time. If rush hour is from 3:30-7pm and everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) rushes out and gets on the road, guess what happens?  It takes 8 hours to get 17.5 miles. Seriously.  Fast-forward to today when they are almost disappointed that there isn’t any trouble on the roads. GRR. It is quite irritating.

So, anyway, I didn’t do anything useful and I’m a little sad about it, but I’m just going to put it down to having a true day off. 

I need to sit down and do a little timeline/map. I have a book to read, a show to rehearse and classes to keep up with in addition to all the regular life stuff.  I'm exhilarated, but I am also feeling some resistance as some of the course work requires some self-reflection that goes a bit deeper than "what color do you want your blog to be?".  I knew this going into it, so I'm not completely surprised by my reaction, but I am also committed to doing the work. That's the sad thing about paying for stuff - when I pay for it, I'm more likely to participate. You'd think I could just do all this and make it happen on my own, but there is an accountability that happens when you actually spend money and commit to a community of other people.  I'm stoked and a little nervous. Maybe it is just me (I doubt it), but it is always scary to look deep because I'm either afraid of what I will find or WON'T find and/or afraid to change.

Wish me luck!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

SoulBook Cover

I spent the last couple of days working in my Soul Book. I took a class from the Brave Girls Club and I'm finally able to work on some of the art parts.  This is a little different than my art journals, but it uses some of the same techniques if I want to do it that way.  I'm still figuring out some of what I want to do, but I'm happy with it so far.

I thought about not posting the front cover just because it might seem egotistical - that isn't the point at all...  this isn't an art journal - it is a book to look to on difficult days or days when I need to remember who I am and what I believe and where I'm going. I like the idea and I took a little bit of a different path than what the instructors said.  You will have to take the class to find out more. :)

Here are pics of the cover, front and back:

Back Cover - I did this first.  I don't know why I liked the perfume bottle and poof, other than the pink color.  Somehow, it works for me.



The instructors recommended having pictures of ourselves. I decided to put them on the front - me and the people/places times that I love.  

Saturday, January 14, 2012

My New Love Affair

I was on Pinterest and I found a hair tutorial that I wanted to try.  I went to the website of the person and went looking for some other tutorials (I haven't mastered ANY of the hair tutorials).  I found this AMAZING PURSE.  It is the PERFECT COLOR.  The first photo doesn't really show the color quite right, but it is a nice picture of the bag and the lovely skirt the author is wearing.  Ironically, I saw her on the People's Choice Awards the other night giving a makeover to an unknown woman.  What a strange circular set of events. Anyway, I purchased the purse knowing that if it wasn't the same color as the second picture below, I would be returning it.  


The bag is ACTUALLY THIS COLOR!!  It is the purse I have been waiting for since I was 5 or 6 years old. I am IN LOVE!! And it arrived on Thursday.  It is EXACTLY THIS COLOR!! I'm swooning a little bit.

**Both of these photos are from www.keikolynn.com

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Change is Hard, Not Impossible

A lot of people get impatient with the pace of change. - James Levine



I always have these imaginings that when I decide to do something or change something, it happens quickly and smoothly.  I'm usually (almost always) wrong. This time is no exception, but I'm not feeling down about it. Just trying to figure it out.

I think that is a sign of maturity (I hope).  Usually, if I lose patience or get frustrated, I use it as an excuse to give up or change my mind (read: back away in fear).  This time, as I realize that I have things to do for myself and things that I have committed to others, instead of letting others trump self, I'm figuring out what I need to do for both.

I want/imainge myself to be a person who isn't governed by structure and rules. I had a boss who said, "You should work on the handbook because you are a black and white person."  I was really offended and kind of hurt, but later I realized that there is truth to that. I see the shades of gray, but only because I know where the black and white are.  I do believe in rules although I'm not adverse to bending or breaking them for the right reasons. I guess I thought that if I need structure and rules and boundaries it meant that I wasn't fun or funny or friendly or flexible.  My head believes that none of those things are true. My heart still doesn't buy that it is okay to have both.  (I think this is a little bit of Roby legacy.)

I don't really like surprises anymore - I've had enough unpleasant ones to last me a lifetime, so I guess it makes sense that I like to have some predictability in my life. I think that some level of predictability is underrated.  If you have a base of predictable behavior, predictable outcomes, it is easier to roll with the punches that you CAN'T control.  Does that make sense?

Anyway, I have a lot going on with all the classes and work and the blog and art journaling and my book group and a play I'm working on, and and and...  But I'm feeling good. I'm a little behind everywhere, but I haven't given up.  I'm structuring in time to work on each thing and will continue to do that as I move forward.

I can't wait to see where this leads!





Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Meaning and Purpose

I'm so excited about all that is happening right now.

I started my "How to Build a Blog You Truly Love" course today - I'm about 3 days behind, but I read all the lessons and I'm ready to work.  I'm really excited to dive into my own ideas and goals and dreams about this blog. I can't describe why blogging has become such an important thing to me - it just is.  I get a great sense of accomplishment and satisfaction just knowing that I've committed myself to documenting.  I'm still working on finding the path(s) I want to take, but I get closer and closer all the time.

I also signed up for a course called "A Year With Myself".  I just feel like I'm doing some mental, emotional and physical stretching - new things, deeper into some of the same things.  I'm excited and nervous to explore and grow and set some goals for myself and my life and my blog.

2012 is gonna be a big year, I can tell.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Home Again

Well, I definitely had a whirlwind trip up to Seattle. I can honestly say that I don't like driving on a freeway with 5 - 7 lanes and exits on the right AND left.  It was kind of stressful getting there in the rain, but I did get there easily and WITHOUT GPS!! :)  I proudly refuse to use GPS. I like knowing where to turn before a voice tells me to "Turn Now".

Saw some good people and got to work with some folks I don't usually get to see (obviously).  Dinner out with a colleague and then the long drive home.

Anyway, since I have to work tomorrow, I'm off to bed.

Monday, January 9, 2012

On The Road Again

I had a nice dinner with Roby's mom and step-dad last night - our annual outing to remember Roby and see each other.  I am going to be better about calling at other times during the year this year - we all suffer from the "I don't want to bother you if you are busy" syndrome, so then we don't see each other.  I love them dearly, so I want to be sure I spend time with then as regularly as I can.

Tonight, I am in Seattle.  I had to work on payroll from a hotel computer - I can't do it with this little netbook and no mouse...keys are too small, too much mouse-work for me.  I will be working with a new co-worker.  I should not drive to strange places in the dark - it was raining and the speed limit is 70 mph - not my forte in the dark in an unfamiliar place.  I made it safe and sound, but my shoulders are tight from tensing. :)  Tomorrow, I will be driving home in the same conditions, but it doesn't matter when I get home...Tonight I was feeling the pressure to get to the hotel.

So, even though I know that I have blog course material waiting for me, I have an early morning, so I'm off to bed.  More tomorrow!  I can't wait to start my class!!!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

16 Years Without Roby

Today, 16 years ago, Roby Starns died.  I still miss him.

Roby Starns, 1985, Aloha High School Theatre Awards Night
I know that it is difficult for people sometimes to understand missing someone for so long.  After all these years, it isn't the intense missing that I felt when he first died.  It doesn't burn or stab or throb. I don't wallow in missing Roby - I just miss him. I wonder what he would think about things sometimes or if he would like this music or this show or movie.  I think of him when I watch Kurt and his dad on "Glee" because I wish Roby's dad could have been like that.

All combined, Roby has been a part of my life for the last 29 years...only about 1/3 of my life happened before I knew him.  I think this kind of warrants some attention.  Missing is okay to me.

Roby at Hug Point, 1987
Most importantly, I think it is important to remember and honor him, our friendship, how he shaped me as a person (in good and bad ways), how our experience with HIV/AIDS and his death impacted me and taught me.  I love him still and always will. It may not make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me.  I believe I have it in perspective and I believe that I have carried on with life in many healthy ways.  One of the ways I have been able to do that is to honor my dear, sweet, obstinant, funny friend each year on days that are important - his birthday and the anniversary of the day we lost a beautiful soul.

16 years ago, today, at 3:04 AM, I lost my best friend.  Roby Starns, I miss you and remember you still.

Roby at Ecola State Park, 1989

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Extending the Celebration!

Since the Blogoversary is happening on the weekend and I didn't do a 37 Day countdown like I did last year, I thought I should extend the comments deadline. :)

If you leave a comment on the Blogoversary post by Wednesday, January 11 at 11:59 PM PST, I will enter you into a drawing for a copy of Gretchen Rubin's  NY Times Best Seller, "The Happiness Project". 

I hope this will help those who want to participate!

Four Years of WildRumpusing! Happy Blogoversary!

Hi visitors!

Today is a very special day for me as it marks four years of blogging!  I can't believe I have been able to keep at this for so long!  Thank you to each and every person who visits!

Anyone who leaves a comment Wednesday, January 11, 2012 by 11:59 PM PST  will be entered in a drawing to win a copy of "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin.  She is a blogger I found early on in my travels in the blogosphere and her approach really resonated with me.  Her book has been on the NY Times Best Seller's list for a while and her Page-A-Day Calendar has gone VIRAL this season because the online sellers ran out of copies. (Check back here tomorrow and I will announce a winner.  I will need to have you contact me so that I can send the book.)

I hope that you continue to come visit WildRumpusing in the year to come.  You will see new projects, new purpose, new stories. I can't wait to see what changes will come!  I hope you will join me on the journey.  Thank you for doing so now!

Happy 2012!  May it be filled with wild rumpusing and WildRumpusing!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Lazy Day, Project Day

I spent the day online - I checked my work email, facebook, watched videos from an art journaling course I'm taking, organized some photos, did some pinning on Pinterest.  It was a good day.  I also started working on my art journal from the course I watched.  My biggest problem is waiting for the paint to dry all the way. I hate waiting.

It was a rare, lazy, guilt-free day of looking forward, planning for the next couple of months. I have more shows coming up so I have to clear spots to work on them, plus I have several online courses I signed up for coming up and 2 that I delayed starting until the show was done. I also need to start reading my book for the 37Days Book Group - I have it on my Kindle, but I wasn't ready to start it today. I will do it tomorrow.

Tomorrow I have plans to see some old friends for an evening of fun and games. Seems an odd juxtaposition in light of the anniversary I will observe on Sunday. Life is funny, sometimes. But I know Roby would be happy to know that I was still having fun with my friends and remembering him every step of the way.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Show Done, Moving On

Well, I'm a little sad that I am just checking "West Side Story" off my list of things to do, but I am.  I enjoyed the show and I feel like I did a good job.  At the same time, it felt like a dangling piece of 2011 since I started working on it last year. I have all these projects and things I want to be doing for the start of the New Year and I am going to be able to start doing some of them.

I feel really good about where things are and how I feel about this year. I don't have unrealistic expectations, just some good plans to do some things for myself - things I have needed/wanted to do for a long time.

Blogoversary coming up on January 7.  4 years. 16 year anniversary of Roby's death on January 8. Dec. 28 was 5 years since my Dad died.  Winter is a heavy time for me, sometimes.  This year, I feel like I'm connecting with some of this in a new way and I'm happy about that.

I was smart enough to take the day off tomorrow, so I roll into a weekend with a day to myself. Nice.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Post 1365

In 2 days, I will be celebrating my 4-year Blogoversary!  Unbelievable!  Even more unbelievable is that this is my 1, 365th post!  Now, I'm not saying that all these posts are anything special on their own, but as a group, as a consistent project - 1365 is a lot of posts.  I'm so proud of the blog for a lot of reasons.  No matter what, I keep going. No matter how boring or how uninspired I feel sometimes, I keep coming back. I know that sometimes that isn't so thrilling for the folks who do come and read here, but hopefully, over the weekend, when my "How to Build A Blog You Truly Love" ecourse starts, you will reap the benefits of my learning. I'm so looking forward to it!

Thank you so much to anyone who visits here!  I appreciate each person who comes by to read - if even for a moment or two.  It is an awesome thing to throw my voice out into the wind to see if anyone is out there. I do it for myself and I appreciate the support I receive from my blog-reading friends.

I love to hear from folks who stop by. I hope you'll leave a comment or two.  I hope you will come back by sometime to see how WildRumpusing grows as I take my ecourse.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Something's Coming

I got to preview "West Side Story" tonight before we interpret on Thursday. The production is very good - good actors and dancers, the sound was good, everyone seemed to have good energy.  I still prefer the movie version because that is what I saw first, but this was a very good production.

I think next year, I will try to pass on the show that comes right after Christmas - it is always a challenge to get it all in during the holidays.  I suppose it will depend on the show because I'm pretty sure I said the same thing last year. When I saw it was "West Side Story" this year, I couldn't turn it down. I've done this show one other time but I was/am looking forward to doing it again.

Here is "Something's Coming" from the movie "West Side Story":


Monday, January 2, 2012

I'm Already Behind??

I had a good time with my out-of-town visitor and now, I'm getting ready to go back to work tomorrow.  I wish I had a few days off that were just for me, but I wasn't able to do that this time.  There was shopping and Christmas and prepping for a visitor and being with a visitor. None of those things are bad, but I sort of need a vacation from my vacation.  I will have another 4 day weekend this weekend, but it is full up, too.  I have the show on Thursday, nothing on Friday, party on Saturday and Sunday, I hope to spend time with Roby's mom. It will be 16 years since his death and I like to remember him with his mother.

I do have "West Side Story" this Thursday, which I'm excited about. I love this show, although I haven't seen this production yet.  We go to preview it tomorrow for our work.

I'm thinking about all the exciting stuff that I'm doing this year and I can't wait to get started. I feel like I'm already behind, but I'm not. I'm just ready to get started.  I have downloaded the first 37Days Book Group book on my Kindle and I'm ready to read!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Welcome to 2012!

I spent New Year's Eve with friends and family.  It was less of a celebration and more of a fun time, which is okay because most New Year's celebrations don't end well.  This was mostly calm, mostly drama-free. Just the way I like it.

I'm not really one for resolutions and I didn't find success last year with my "one word", but as I have been saying for a few weeks - I have plans.  Some of the things I'm doing have been posted here on the blog - classes, reading, that kind of thing. Some of the things I'm doing are going to be at work (read: not posted here) and some things are personal and also, not going to be posted here.  I'm excited to start a new year as it always means a little bit of a clean slate. 

Happy New Year, everyone! Welcome to 2012!

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