Apparently, falling is a theme in my life now. It's been a while, but the thought is never far from my mind. While I don't really talk about it much, fear of falling, physically and metaphorically, is a big deal for me.
On Sunday morning, I ended up falling backwards down part of a 1/2 flight of stairs. About 4 steps really. I was backing down the stairs - don't ask - and missed the next step. Next thing you know, I'm on the floor in the kitchen. I landed on my back and left arm. I can totally feel it in my back, neck, and my left arm.
I know that falling down is a sign of stress for me. It used to be car accidents. I guess falling is better? It means I'm not paying as much attention to my physical safety because I'm distracted by the lack of mental safety I'm feeling.
Honestly, I could go to bed right now and not get up for another year and I'm not sure I would feel better. But I get up every day and get dressed. Like, full-on dressed. With pants. Clothes I would wear outside. Even working from home, I get up and get dressed and wear shoes every. single. day. If I don't, I would slip into the oblivion and never be seen again. Can't let that happen. So, dressed it is. No falling down that rabbit hole. (See what I did there?)
Anyway, I haven't quite decided what I'm going to do about my stress level yet. I have tried a million things, but I feel there is more to be done.
On the positive side, I received an unexpected bonus from work and I selfishly spent a little on myself. I purchased an iPod Touch. I have been missing my iPod nano since i left it on the last airplane I rode on. I don't like having my music on my phone and it has been frustrating me, plus I don't like using up my phone battery for that when I might need it for communication. My iPod arrived a day early and I LOVE IT. Music has been one of the things that has soothed me since this pandemic began. Being able to carry it in my pocket and NOT be limited to whatever can be streamed makes me happy.
So, here's to not falling and music.
