Tuesday, May 31, 2011

#Trust30 Day 1: 15 Minutes to Live

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. Sign up below to receive the prompts by email. If you like this pledge, check out reverb10, it's inspiring. 

Gwen Bell – 15 Minutes to Live

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.
1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

I think I had an unfair advantage/disadvantage. Earlier today, I saw the prompt and I copied and pasted the information in a draft so that I would be ready when I got to California after my travel. I didn't have time to do it right then because I was getting ready for my trip.

On the plane, the words to a song flickered into my mind, but I can't figure out what song it is. Something about "possibilities" which led me to think of "Hazy Shade of Winter" but that wasn't it.  I thought for a long time about the story that HAS to be written (that's how I read the prompt) and I realized that I'm not sure what story I would write. My first thought was of Roby and all the people in my life, past and present, who have given me love and support. I have been very fortunate in my life to be surrounded by loving people, good friends, mentors and supporters.

Another song came to me - a song that I never really sang when I was a kid but that has always resonated with me. I decided that was part of the story I needed to write in my "last" 15 minutes.

"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...let it shine, shine, shine, let it shine."  The simple beauty of this song makes me cry whenever I hear it. But I cry not just because of the beauty, the message, the pure clarity of children's voices when they sing it.  I cry because I have always been a little afraid of letting my light shine.
I think I have spent most of my life hiding my light under a bushel for a lot of different reasons - many reasons that I don't fully understand. 

As a child, I was boisterous, emotional, excitable, artistic, and imaginative. As most children do, I had moments when those characteristics served me well and I had moments when they didn't. For some reason, even though I KNOW that there were so many more moments when I was supported in being who I was, I have the opposite moments burned in my mind. Small things - things no one would think a child would internalize. Big things like a disapproving father and a shy/reserved sister - I idolized them and I took their silence as disapproval. I started to dim the light at a pretty young age.  I think sometimes that dim light was like someone lighting a candle in a really thin tent - sort of luminous in the darkness.  (Please don't misunderstand what I am saying - I'm not trying to be egotistical, just thinking on paper).  Luminous in the sense that any time you are true to yourself and your emotions and your person the internal light of YOU shines out into the world.

As I grew up, I was used to trying to be dim. Don't be too smart. Don't be too curious. Don't ask too many questions. Don't want too much.  As I got older, I found people whose light was like the sun next to my little candle and I loved it - I could feel the heat but I didn't "take the heat" for it. I lived in the shiny, brightness but I also had to be careful there. Don't get swallowed up. Don't lose yourself. Don't let the candle get any bigger.

I guess the story that has to be told is that each of us is a light in this dark world - to someone, in some way. We each need to be a light and we need to be careful that we don't dim the lights of others. It happens innocently most of the time, but we are all sensitive creatures, aren't we?  We have to pay attention to each other.  That's what I wanted to say. My immediate reaction to this prompt was to tell other people's stories - I am a story teller, after all. But I knew I couldn't do that. Self-reliance. Digging deeper.  That's what this month is about.  Maybe this isn't exactly what Gwen Bell meant with her prompt, but this is what it brought to me.

Monday, May 30, 2011

#Trust30 Starting Tomorrow

There I was, innocently reading posts on Facebook, when I found the next theme for my blog. I'm participating in Nablopomo for June and they have a theme there, but I don't usually do their themes - they don't always resonate with me. I do try to check out some of their prompts, as well, but it isn't often that I use them.

So, today, Patti Digh posted on Facebook that she had been selected as an author for a Seth Godin project called #Trust30 that starts tomorrow.  Of course, I immediately went to the website to sign up.  Seth Godin is a favorite of several people I admire greatly and I have enjoyed some of his work (I haven't explored deeply, so I have little to go on). Patti (this link is to her other blog) is someone that I not only admire but trust and love that she posted about this.

Here's what it says about the project on the website: 

There is also mention of "The Domino Project", which I am trying to find out about right now.
Anyway, I'm excited to have a theme/project for the next 30 days. I have been feeling unfocused for a long time. I will still be doing art journals and other stuff, but I miss some of the stuff I used to do here - when I started blogging, I was a lot more fearless (re: open) and I'd like to get back to that. I think I just got caught in a rut.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

"Journey of You" Online Class (J.O.Y.)

I was finally able to start my online art journaling class called "Journey of You" by Kelly Kilmer this weekend.  I spend a lot of time pulling images and trying to "get ready" and I just decided that I would start actually doing the journal, which is always the hardest part.

I don't LOVE the pages that I have done so far, but I did them and I am learning from them as I go along and that is really the point.  The cover was not well planned. I think the images and background conflict - the background is too busy - I should have found plainer background pieces.  The next couple of pieces are experiments. I think there are some interesting elements. I can't wait to continue to play around with stuff. I haven't put any writing in the journal yet, but I plan to. That is the part I always leave out, so I'm going to start in this tiny, homemade journal. I can always make another one - as many as I want, so it isn't like it is ruined or anything.  It is all a learning process.

Below are the pages I did this weekend.  The first one is the cover of the journal then the next two pages were done following the instructions (sort of) in the class for different methods of pulling a page together.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Ticking Items Off My List

Show is done.  It was more fun than I had thought it would be a couple of weeks ago. Simple, good team. I enjoyed "Riverdance" more than I expected I would - such talent in all those people.

I started working on the "Journey of You" art journaling class but I don't have anything to show in terms of photos. I just made the "book" for it. By the time I was done, the last of my show adrenaline faded and I am feeling pretty sleepy.  I'm going to be trying some new stuff - really working to follow the class instructions and techniques to see if I find some new ways to work. I'm excited to do it.

Beyond that, I have a couple of catch-up photos from my trip to collage last weekend and some detail photos of a bag I bought that I am just IN LOVE with.  I'm hoping to use the photos of the bag at some point in some of the collages I make in my art journal - the colors are so vivid.

Here's the whole haul from collage on 5.21.11

Tapes and tickets up close. Not a great photo

I like this photo even though it isn't really in focus

A couple of rolls of tape and the new "Artful Blogger"

Inside pocket of bag

I was disappointed this photo was out of focus - I have to look at the bag and see if the painting itself is fuzzy or if it is just me

This is the first image I saw when the bag was in the store and it is what made me buy it.

Just another detail on the bag

Taj Mahal image from bag

Tiger and COLORS!

I just love the colors and the writing and all the details on this bag. If I didn't love the bag so much, I might cut it up and use it for collage. For now, this will have to do.

Friday, May 27, 2011

**Whine Alert**

I'm so flipping tired tonight. Holy cow.  Everything hurts (I'm sure it was from sitting all day long and all evening - just one of those days).  I'm going to be in California next week which is good in many ways, but I think that just thinking about traveling again makes me tired.

I know it will all be fine and I will be so happy to see my friends. I think I need to take a couple of 3 day or 4 day weekends and go to the beach. I just need to zen out a little - no plans, no place to go, no "on" face. Just me, a book and some quiet time.  I have a show on June 22, so I'm thinking that I will be able to take some time off after that and maybe a 3 day weekend between now and then.

A girl can dream, right? :)

Thank you for bearing with me during this whine break. It wasn't TOO bad.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

It's All Good

I got word today that I will be going on another trip next week. In some ways, I don't really want to but I have been traveling on Memorial Day or that weekend for like three years, so traveling after the holiday is just fine with me.  The good news about it is that I am going to be going for work but will be in the area where some of my good friends are.

I think I mentioned here that my friend recently lost a family member, so the planned travel here just didn't seem feasible. When I found out I had the opportunity to go there, I thought it would be perfect - I can visit, hug, support my friends and at the same time, I have a purpose so they don't have to feel like they are responsible for me or that they have to entertain me or anything. I like that. It feels organic and good.

I just have to take some deep breaths, do my laundry this weekend and off I will go into the wild blue yonder. It's all good.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

End of May!? What Happened?

Where has the time gone this year?  I can't believe it is already the end of May...it is still raining and cold and I haven't taken my May vacation.  All my favorite shows are wrapping up this week and the term is almost over for most schools, colleges and universities.  Wild!

It is so strange to find that time really does pass faster and faster as time goes by. As the world becomes smaller and things get faster, I feel myself pulling back and trying to settle in. I know that it is quaint, in some ways, to hold onto the familiar, but I also think that there is a limit to the amount and speed of change we can really process. I figure I will save up some of my brain power and energy for the changes and new technologies that I have to adopt/adapt to or I will become obsolete.  I think there is a lot more space between here and there than people think.  I have always been a slow-to-warm person, so I know this is just part of my personality.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Video on Motivation

A person at work recommended this video to me. It is pretty cool.

Monday, May 23, 2011

June is Coming

I'm pretty sure I'm going with a theme in June. I have to check out the theme at Nablopomo and see if that is something I can sustain.  I do fine if I have something to kick start my thoughts. Coming up with a topic each day is the most difficult thing.  Any theme ideas?  I'm willing to entertain suggestions. :)

I'm still planning a vacation although it is somewhat of a moving target at this point. Hopefully sometime in June because I am READY for the beach.

I hope to do some art tomorrow - I meant to today but I got caught up in other stuff.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Time Flies - Another Weekend Gone

I didn't do anything really productive today. I paid for an online journaling class and got the email and information to start a little while ago, but it is so late now that I will have to wait. I'm excited to start, but I'm going to wait until tomorrow to do anything.  Frankly, I'm a little sad that I have to work tomorrow as it feels like I worked about 2 weeks worth last week but at least it is back to my normal routine.

I hope to have some photos of the rhododendron in the back yard (beautiful pink flowers) and maybe start the new journal class tomorrow. We'll see how it all goes.  I'm glad that Blogger seems to be back to normal now, so that makes it easier to post stuff.

I wish I had more to say today but mostly I need to go to bed.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Art - Glass Fusing

My friend found a Groupon for a class on glass fusing at Aquila Glass School back in January. I had never (and haven't again) purchased a Groupon but I thought it might be fun to do it.

I was TIRED this morning, but I decided I needed to take the class anyway.  I'm glad I did - it was fun and interesting. I would not normally take a glass anything class unless it was mosaic (I still want to make one). I decided that since it wasn't something I would normally choose, I should give myself the latitude to not be perfect, to play with designs and colors and see what happened. They will be firing the glass this week and I will be able to take pictures later. Unfortunately, my camera battery died and I wasn't able to get photos of the pieces before firing. I would have liked to compare, but maybe next time.  I will post photos of the finished pieces when I get them back.

After class, lunch at my favorite Thai place and then a quick stop at Collage where I found some cool washi tapes in colors I was looking for a few weeks ago. I can't wait to use it in my journal. Photos tomorrow - it is late and time for bed.

Friday, May 20, 2011

It's So Good To Be Back Home Again

Today was exhausting. I slept well last night, but got up pretty early to make sure I was all packed and ready to go. I ate breakfast at the hotel and checked out and had some alone time before the rush of the day. We went to work and got a lot done although we were all so fried that it stalled us out a few times.

Then it was off to the airport. We had been told to get flights after 4 p.m., so I chose the one direct flight home that left Denver at 8 pm. Due to rental cars and the flights of some of the other folks, we went to the airport at around 4:00 p.m. On the way, we saw bunches of prairie dogs - I remember them from my childhood but I don't think I have seen a live one since I was about 6 years old.  One of the people I was with had a flight out at 6 p.m. so we had a chance to talk some more and hang out. She left for her flight and I went down to my gate and took a two-hour nap (I told you I was tired).  I don't normally sleep when I'm in a public place, so it was a little weird, but I was super tired and had a long wait.

Eventually, they changed the gate I was supposed to be at and then after boarding us about 20 minutes late, we ended up waiting another 40 minutes before taking off. So, we basically left an hour late and somehow landed somewhat on time. They didn't say we had a tailwind and that would not usually give you an hour less travel time, but somehow it all worked out.

I'm so tired and looking forward to the weekend, but I have a glass class tomorrow. My friend bought a Groupon for this class and we scheduled it a long time ago. I'm kind of wishing I could postpone just because I'd like to sleep in. Que sera sera, right?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Dinner in Denver

It has been a highly productive and extremely exhausting few days - it is hard to be "on" 12-14 hours a day, even when you like the people you are with.  Normally, you have your hour to drive to work to prepare for human contact and the drive home to recover from it. When you are in the hotel and driving with people, you get to eat breakfast, drive with them, spend the day with them, drive back.  It is exhausting for me - I love the social aspects of it, but it takes a lot of energy for me these days.

Tonight, several in our group went out for a more casual dinner and we got to know each other a lot better. We laughed and talked about our lives and our cars and work. It was good.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Day Two in the Mile High City

Holy cow, was I tired this morning.  I have a second wind - too bad the others are all from east of here - I'm awake and they are probably all happily snoozing.  No worries, though - I usually need the down time. I love to be around people, but I definitely need the recharge that I get when I just spend some quiet time.

We worked hard today - almost 12 hours. Finally got back to the hotel about an hour ago.  It is raining, so everyone says I brought it from Portland. :) 

Glad Blogger is back up and running - I actually sent them a note today because I have been having problems for several days now. I know there were known issues, but this seemed like mayb the whole blog was GONE.  Funny how attached I am to this - I was kind of stressed out thinking that all the posts were gone. I have them in my email, but it isn't the same thing.  Luckily, it seems that all is well for now. So goes the digital world. 

On a related note - I only have like 10 days left with my sidekick. :(  Everyone has been teasing me. I know I'm a dinosaur - all the technology...I am attracted to it and repelled at the same time. I know I will have to get a new phone for work - I just worry about my ability to use it and I worry that I will be come addicted even more to the online life. I feel like I have a pretty hearty participation now and I don't really feel compelled to increase my level now.  I'm sure I will change my tune when I get a new toy - I just feel like the world is moving too fast for me sometimes. I will adapt.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Rocky Mountain High

Well, I am in Denver. I got up at 2:00am to get ready and get to the airport in time for a 6am flight.  The flight was uneventful but had a hysterical flight crew. At the end of the flight, one of the attendants said, "Well, I know you are all excited to get off the plane and see your loved ones, but before you do, be sure to redo the back of your hair because it looks awful from where I'm standing."  Everyone just howled.

While I won't say much about my work here, I will say that it is always good to work face-to-face.  It is true with people that you know pretty well, but even more true to develop a rapport with those you don't know very well.  It has been a great day so far, but I'm exhausted and have been struggling to gain access to the blog today.  By the end of the evening with everyone, I realized that the lesson I really needed from this trip, personally, is that I have to rebalance again. I've been talking about it, but I haven't been doing it.  I have to do it.  It is really, really hard to get to know people when you only have work to discuss. I have a whole life and other interests, but I don't participate in them enough and that has an impact over time.

Every May and every October, I come to this epiphany and yet, I haven't been able to stop the ball from rolling down that lane yet.  Maybe this year will be the year?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Spring Blooming

In the space of 16 hours, the bud already started browning. I was disappointed. By the time I get back from Denver, I'm sure the other flowers will all have come out and browned up, too. I guess I should have gone back for my camera when I saw the bloom in the first place.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


I have about 812 things I need to be doing right now. I sort of walked around in circles for a little while and I decided that I was overstimulated and needed a mini-timeout.  I'm going to make a list of things I need to do today and tomorrow (before my trip) and then I'm going to prioritize them and put them in an order that makes sense.

The best part about getting older is being able to recognize things in myself and act on them. The fact that I get overstimulated leads to being less productive.  This brief moment here on the blog may seem like a waste of time to many, but it is five minutes that I can allow my brain to calm down and I can refocus. When I was younger, I just let the stimulus overwhelm me and I would spin around until I was exhausted, frustrated, lost or completely useless. Now, if I recognize things early enough, I can head some of it off at the pass.

So, today is about heading it off. Doing what I can and not worrying too much about the rest. Wish me luck.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Art Journal Update Saturday

I don't know why this came together this way, but I just liked this photo...

I like how the layouts look sometimes. I did end up cropping part of the first page out, but it is just because I didn't take a great photo in the first place.

I love this woman's vibe - the glasses, the hair. Fun page to work on. I was just playing around which I am not always brave enough to do.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Lost Post X 2 = GRRR

Something funny is happening with Blogger for the last couple of days. I had a whole post typed up for today and then I didn't. I hate that. It has only happened to me a few times and I never can recapture what I was talking about, my mood, etc. I should probably type my posts in Word and then cut and paste it when I'm done. Maybe the editing would be easier, too.

Anyway, very happy that today is Friday. I have a head cold, so I'm excited to get a chance to sleep some extra tomorrow. There is a bunch of interpreters stuff going on tomorrow, but I'm only going to go to one thing - I can't handle a whole day, plus I have a ton of work to do before I go to Denver next week - I have a paper I have to write (yeah, who'd have thunk?) and a bunch of information to compile, so that is going to take up much of the weekend after I sleeeeep.

In fact, going to go to sleep right now.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Can't Get it Out of My Mind

I am reading a book called "The Orange Revolution" for work right now. It is interesting, but that's not what I'm writing about today.  We are on Chapter 3 and in the chapter, they talk about this video with water buffalo and lions and alligators.  It is hard to watch, but I have been thinking about it all day...

Click on the link if you are a "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" kind of person. If you aren't, I wouldn't recommend it.

I don't know why I'm still thinking about it - it was a little bit horrifying but also fascinating. Just the ebb and flow of the natural world, survival, stuff like that.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Taking a Class Again

Kelly Kilmer has a new online course that I am going to take. It is another art journal class and I am excited about it - it is more basic in nature in terms of materials used. I have everything I need and I'm excited about getting some prompts and making something new.  I have definitely needed to do some kind of class but the local community college hasn't really had what I'm looking for or they have it when I can't do it.

It's May again, so my cyclical time of feeling restless and stressed out is here. I'm hoping a friend is coming up the first week of June, so hopefully, I will be able to get out of town for a few days. I think a nice couple of days at the beach is pretty welcome about now. We'll see if I can make it work.

What the Wall Looks Like

I woke up in the middle of the night last night drenched in sweat and I realized that the "wall" I hit yesterday was called "I am sick".  It was kind of a relief because when I hit it, I hit it pretty hard but I just felt TIRED.

Today I have had a low-grade fever all day and just am feeling fatigued. It will be fine. I'm drinking fluids and getting rest.  I hope to get rid of this thing quickly as I don't really have the luxury of being sick right now.

Wish me luck. :)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Hitting the Wall

Too many things, too many projects. Planning a trip. Lots to do. Lots to think about. Trying to figure out a day off between now and interpreting "Mary Poppins", not sure it will happen.

I wish I had more to say today but I'm in wipeout mode - I did a presentation down in Monmouth today, so it just added a bit to my world today when the day had already been full before that. Nothing bad going on - just hitting the wall a little bit tonight.

It's all good.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day and Beauty

Happy Mother's Day to any mom of any kind (birth, step, would-be, wanna-be, furry-mom, teacher-mom, mentor-mom, etc.)

This is my mom - circa 1964. This is before I was born, but kind of the image I have of her in my head. Smiling, fun glasses, outdoors.
I remember when I was little and I just looked at my mom in awe - she was the most beautiful, magical person I had ever seen. In her, all things. Of her, all things. Now I know that she is a human being and at the same time, I still believe she is the most beautiful, magical person I have known.  She taught me everything I needed to know to be (I hope) a good person. She taught me to love learning, reading, to love people, to work hard, to laugh openly. I am in awe of her and all mothers everywhere.

I did this page yesterday for my art journal - I have had the image for a long time, but I had been thinking I would use it in my more Teesha Moore-style journal and hadn't glued it down - I think I didn't want to alter the photo for some reason.  I decided yesterday to put it in my other journal because I am not as compelled to alter the magazine images - these are just for me and for my own sense of enjoyment and pleasure. It meets a whole different need.  I love the photo because it shows such different kinds of beauty from different parts of the world and culture. I know that it was an ad for a special Jessica Simpson did on Beauty. I did not see the special, nor am I a fan of Jessica Simpson, however, I did like that she was examining the cultural meaning and impact of beauty standards.  I was hoping to do more art journal stuff yesterday, but I didn't.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Stop Holding Me Back

I started working in my art journal yesterday and then stopped. I had something in mind and I started looking for images that would support it and then I never continued the actual making of pages. :(

I read a blog post or an article yesterday and it basically said that the only thing that holds us back from things is US.  That really resonated with me.  So, Jean, stop holding me back! Stop worrying about failure or lack of perfection. I wish I knew where that came from but I think it has been with me for a long time. Stop it. Just enjoy stuff. Have fun. Make a mess.

That is all. I have to prepare for Mother's Day. That, at least, I can do.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Friday Relief

I really don't like succumbing to the whole "TGIF" sentiment in the world. I know I have talked about this here before - I didn't used to really differentiate the weekends because I had such a nice mix of work and play and weekends versus weekdays off.  I hate that Fridays can be SUCH a RELIEF!  This week, particularly. I got to work early today and then I was there WAY late.  By the time I got home, I was so happy to be there I could have cried. I have a bunch of work to do this weekend, so it isn't as if I have a break, but at least it is a change of scenery. :)

Still working on Mother's Day plans. More about that later.  Hope to get some art in this weekend, but we'll see. I have to get all the other stuff done first.  Wish me luck!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Modem Madness

Apparently, Comcast gave me the wrong cable the last time I had to replace my modem - they gave me one that was a slower cable so that it made it difficult to watch video online. I have noticed issues for about a year now, but I just thought it was because my computer is older and FULL of stuff.

I was trying to watch the final episode of "America's Next Great Restaurant" (I love cooking shows) as the final was pre-empted on Sunday due to world events. I think it was absolutely appropriate to delay the show on the west coast, although I wish NBC would figure out a way to show their programs. I am not a fan of watching TV shows online anyway, but I know it is definitely wave of the future.

Anyway, my internet has been intermittently down this week so I have been trying to stay up on everything I need to do and I haven't been doing a great job of it. Hopefully, it is fixed for now and all will be well going forward.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Treats on My Doorstep

I got home from work today to find a package waiting for me!  I love that!  I recently purchased a couple of journals from Kelly Kilmer. She is an artist and art journaler who sometimes teaches locally (at Art on a Lark in Hillsboro) and does some online courses.  I have been using some of her templates on the most recent art journaling pages I have done here. When I saw that she was selling some of her journals, I knew I wanted to get one so I could see her work LIVE not Memorex. :)

The day the journals went on sale, my computer crashed so I didn't get there until a day or so later and there were two journals left, so I purchased them!  You can see a picture of the covers here.  I ended up getting the "Be You" and "Affinity" Journals.  I only looked them over briefly tonight, but I can't wait to really look at the layers and the way it is put together. Kelly makes the whole book - the journal that I have been working in was handmade but not by me.  I wanted to look at not only the book itself, but how she puts the collage elements together. I'm not so bold yet, but I am working on it.  I'm excited to really explore these pages more so that I can jump to the next level of creativity on my own.  Or just do it at all. I haven't been doing much art journaling, but I think about it still a lot. I just need to carve out the time. I have been wasting too much time doing other things that are less important.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Thought for the Day

From my "Notes from the Universe" Calendar for today:

"Sometimes, when things take longer than you thought they would, it's just a gentle reminder from your greater Self (me), that you have more time than you thought, and that there's a journey to enjoy.  The Universe"

Sometimes, I just need something like this to remind me that there is more to life than my little patch of ground.

Monday, May 2, 2011

The World is Heavy

Osama Bin Laden was killed yesterday. Tsunamis and nuclear meltdowns, 240 tornados in one day. Friends dying. Work is challenging. Political disagreements. The air is heavy.  I feel the weight of it on my shoulders though none of it is mine. My daily life is not affected at this point - not in the ways that these other people are impacted. I just feel it.

I was talking to a friend about "America's Funniest Home Videos" a couple of months ago - I was saying that I can't watch the videos where people get hurt/hit/fall/crash.  They looked at me incredulously, "Why? It's funny..." I actually feel it. When I see those images, images of real people being injured, even comically, I actually have a physical sensation usually from mid-thigh to mid-chest - like someone pulled string and it zips up through my body. I can't really explain it - I haven't always had it, but it gets more intense as I get older.  It started after Roby died - I stopped being able to watch certain kinds of films and things. I can't even bear to hear someone get hurt. Obviously, I know that in a movie, the person is ACTING, but I have to cover my ears and close my eyes. Weird, huh?  I just put it down to being a "highly sensitive person" and leave it at that.

Anyway, this week, the world feels heavy. I remember this one time when we went to the base swimming pool in Florida.  They had left the chlorine machine (or whatever) on too long and didn't know it. We all got into the water and there was this weird, heavy quality to the water.  There were actual blobs in the water that formed (I don't know if that was chlorine or something caused by having too much chlorine - not a scientist or a pool specialist!).  That is how it feels to be walking around right now - like we are walking through giant blobs of guck.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Modem Died

My computer modem died so I am delayed in posting. :(


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