Friday, July 31, 2009

Out with a Whimper? No! - Wreck-Ending Week

Well, I started the week strong...I lost my page in a rather purposeful way last Friday on my way out of work...

I put the page behind a sign that changes on a daily basis. I was hoping that someone would wonder about the page and take it on its own adventure, but I will never know what happened to it.

Then I took some pictures of my beautiful pink hydrangeas, thinking I might take some petals, rub the journal in some dirt or SOMETHING.

Then the HEAT. It got up to 108 degrees (in the Pacific NW, you might as well have sent me in a rocket to the sun). I went to a hotel for three nights to stay cool. I thought I would wreck there, but I was out of my element, out of my environment and I was tired.

My LAST WEEK of Wrecking with the group and I thought, "Well, I just didn't get it done." But underneath that...I wonder if it is my subconcious way of saying that even though the journey with those friends is over, perhaps I will continue to wreck and explore my ability to overcome my creative issues.

I have imagined things I would do to my journal - like rubbing thick paint all over the cover and cutting it up to become a new book. I have always only imagined that kind of behavior, but I am GOING TO DO IT!! This isn't the is merely a transition. This is the part where I say, "I can continue this journey on my own." That is HUGE. Huge steps in letting go, in creativity, in follow-through, in doing things the way I want to instead of how I am "supposed" to.

During this process, I saw so many people doing such brilliant work and I did things I never thought I could do to a book. I have plans for continuing and I think my lessons are still coming. When I saw Barbara @ Reptitude's ultimate end to her journal (burning it for a campfire and some s'mores), I realized that I might need that lesson - letting go. I'm excited for my continued wrecking and I will continue to post here on Fridays with my progress.

Here are the pictures I have - from mailing my partner's page the week before last to my losing of the page and my beautiful pink hydrangeas. Thank you Jamie Ridler at Jamie Ridler Studios for hosting The Next Chapter: Wreck this Journal and to all my new Wrecking Friends for the support, the fun and all the great Wreckreation. It has been a pleasure.

My Favorite Page exchange:

At the post office to mail my exchange page...I was a little slow, but I got it out there...

Now it is on it's way...

Losing my page...

See the black thing in the corner of the sign...That's my page!

My beautiful hydrangeas:

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Back when the Heat Wave is over..

I am staying in a hotel for now because of the heat. I am writing some stuff and will post when I'm back.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Too Damn Hot

I am an official Oregonian and I am going to go to a hotel to stay in AC for the next several days.

It is 108 degrees at my house and they are forecasting that it will still be 100 degrees at 8pm. For the next 3 days.

I can do it during the day, but I choose sleep over tossing and turning miserably for 3 days. I choose AC. Everyone will be happier for it.

I'm off to find AC.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Laughing at myself

So, for any of you who read here regularly, you may have noticed that I struggle with posting videos and unfortunately, I can't see it on my home computer, so I have to go elsewhere to see the lovely faux pas that happen.

So, NO, I do not want to have the hairstyle of either of the people in the first video clip from yesterday. When I saw it, I laughed so hard...just imagining what people were thinking when they read that I secretly wished I could pull off THAT???

No, the hairstyle I was speaking of is below (as well as the performance that I was talking about):

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Posting on a Hot Summer Day

It is hot in the house, but not miserable. But I have all the curtains closed, so it makes for a weird day...sunny out, but trying to keep it cool in the house for sleeping tonight...

So here are some samples of the music I have distracted myself with today...

I love this performance...although it isn't intended for our current president. My secret wish is to be able to pull of her hairstyle... stop laughing! I know it is impossible, but a girl can dream. :)

One of my personal favorite singers...Alison Moyet (of Yaz!)

Here is Yaz (also known as Yazoo)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Mad at Myself

So, I snuck off to Manzanita to see Patti read from "Life is a Verb". I got her autograph (posted on 7/16, I believe). I was a little late because I had been at work and not at all sure I could get away in time. At the last minute, I had to give up my computer and left in time to see an hour of the 1.5 hour event.

The whole time, I had been planning to bring my mom to see Patti's reading in Portland at Reed College. A family situation came up and I was not able to go to that reading. But there was still Bend! Saturday, July 25 at 7:30pm.

Um. Yeah. Not so much. The Bend reading starts at 5:00pm. I just went to mapquest to get directions and start my plan to drive to Bend - 3.5 hours away. And the event starts at 5:00pm. If I did go, I would be late again.

I feel all deflated even though I could have gone late. I decided not to. 7 hours total drive time seems like a lot for a 1 hour reading, if I was lucky enough to get there that quickly. I'm sad that I missed her again. Totally my own fault. :(

It makes my trip to Manzanita that much more important. I'm so glad I went.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Joy in an Unexpected YouTube Video

A friend posted this on YouTube. Normally, I don't watch these kinds of links, but I couldn't imagine what it was. It brought tears to my eyes at the joy of it. I haven't been teary about a wedding in a long time...especially a wedding for people I don't even know...


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Seriously Wrecking Week 8

I had a very productive week of wrecking for Week 8. I can't believe we are almost done. I left some of the really hard ones for the last week...but I'm feeling it, so I think some major wreckage and rumpusing will be happening in Week 9. Stay tuned!

I made a secret message that I put in an envelope that I made and glued to the back of the journal. When I'm done with my WRECKING, then I can open my secret message.

Then I did the NEGATIVE THOUGHTS page.

It is a dangerous page - I was surprised at how mean my inner critic was being. I didn't like that I filled the whole page with negative thoughts.

So I decided that I would take that page out and teach it a lesson.

So there.

I received my exchange page this week and WOW! is it BEAUTIFUL! Carrie sent me a lovely note and this beautiful outline of her hand. I love the black and white-ness of it. And I love the delicate doodles and artistry of the page. Thank you, Carrie!

I added her page to my journal.

I decorated the back cover some more.

Some scratching with my letter opener. I cut all the way through the page. Oops! Hee hee!

I started doodling over one of the pages...still working on it.

I glued some pages together...

I played more with my water color crayons and my tiny water color set on the test page...

Glued some words from a magazine page...

Added some more end color...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Shedding Skin

I imagine that when a snake is getting ready to shed its skin, it gets all itchy and twitchy and wiggly in preparation. I bet the skin is tight and the snake feels all squeezed in - uncomfortable.

I feel like I'm getting ready to shed my skin. Now, I don't know for sure, but I don't think snakes think, "But I like my skin the way it is. Even though it is uncomfortable, it is familiar. I would rather stay in this too-tight, not right, drying-up, ready-to-be-gone, scaly skin." Why do I? Fear of new skin? Fear of the time when the new skin is all pink and raw-like and easily injured? Fear of the new skin being weirder, tighter, looser, prettier, uglier, easier, harder? Different?

I know this is just part of the process of Becoming. But I hate it. And at the same time, I know it is important. But I don't like scaly, itchy skin. I can't get comfortable, no matter how I sit, stand, lay, crouch, sleep, wake, work, drive. I just keep worming around, trying to find a comfortable position.

I wonder how long it takes to shed one's skin? I'm really good once the thing is the dread of the unknown before something happens that is the killer for me...Maybe it has already started...or it will tomorrow.

I hope my skin is neon pink when I get done - bright and colorful and interesting. But not tender like a sunburn.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Eagerly Awaiting "Julie & Julia"

In the spirit of getting out of my routine (ha, sneaking the theme in), I have been going to more movies recently. I have seen "The Proposal" (love Sandra Bullock, love Ryan Reynalds - hubba hubba), "Star Trek" (better than I expected), "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" (midnight showing on my birthday - very good), "Transformers" (not as good as the first one - which was surprisingly good), and finally "Terminator: Salvation" (not my choice. It wasn't as violent as I expected it to be as far as blood and guts).

The movie I have been WAITING for is "Julie & Julia". I'm not much of a cook, but since I had an opportunity to be in the vacinity of a cooking class a few years ago, I have been fascinated with cooking, chefs, etc. I love to watch cooking shows, but I haven't been brave enough to try any of the recipes yet. I love "Hell's Kitchen" (poor man's "Top Chef" - but I love Gordon Ramsey) and "Kitchen Nightmares" (it is ALWAYS BAD MANAGERS...hmmm). So now, I will get to learn a bit about the queen of American French Cuisine (I admit, until recently, I had always thought Julia Child was French...I haven't seen her since I was a kid and I guess I never bothered to wonder or find out...".

I'm looking forward to a movie that doesn't have a mystery, there are no deaths, no blood, nothing blows up, no intense action. This is it! I'm thinking about going on Opening Day...that would definitely be a break in my boring routine. Maybe I can take my journal and do some wrecking... hee hee.

Oh No...

"Octomom, The Musical"? Really?

Monday, July 20, 2009

Break in my Routine

I'm having a crisis of posting isn't that I'm bored or that I have nothing to say.

I've just been tired and falling asleep early, so I have been getting up specifically to write my posts, but then I have nothing interesting up my sleeve because I'm tired. I have to change my routine for posting. I'll have to think on it...

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Quiet Weekend

Although I loved Roby to bits, he isn't the only person in my world, nor do I obsess about him daily. I think about him, yes, but obsess, no.

That said, you may wonder why I posted his picture here today. I was looking at some photos of our high school drama department the other day and I thought I would try to figure out how to scan and upload them. I haven't succeeded yet, so this is the photo I have at the read right now... He is also the one person who's picture I can post without asking permission.

post high school (1988? 1989?) - Roby at Ecola State Park.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Birthday Saturday

Had another birthday celebration with some friends and family last night. I spent the day wrecking in my journal (fun! and I made lots of progress), then picked up some of my favorite salsa from Chez Jose and off to Buster's for dinner.

We had good food and then played some cards, ate some cheesecake and talked. Good day.

Here is a photo from my impromptu trip to the beach. I had planned on pulling off to take some more photos, but then I was worried about getting home before it got too late...I only got this one. I should have taken pictures at the bookstore. Silly me.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Wrecking Wreview with New and Improved Color! - Week 7

Here are some photos of the new stuff I have been doing to WRECK...I'm still having some resistance to the messier stuff...but I did finally get water into the book! Watercolor crayons!! What FUN!

This picture shows the watercolor crayon texture...

This is the after photo of watercolor crayons:

For your consideration, a wreview of past wrecking:

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Kevin, Indian Food, Fried Green Tomatoes and Harry

Yesterday, I had a lovely day that was all about things I love. I slept in a bit, met Kevin for lunch at the lovely East India Company Bar and Grill downtown(delicious, thank you, Kevin!). Kevin gave me a First Edition hardback PRISTINE copy of "Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe" by Fannie Flagg. If you haven't read it, you should. We had a lovely lunch together. When we were done, Kevin rode off on the street car and I went back home for a brief rest.

Later on in the afternoon, I participated in telecoaching call #2. LOVE IT! I'm struggling with shedding layers, but it is all there, roiling around. Change, good things. I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to drive to Manzanita tomorrow to go to Patti's reading or not. Would have to drive back home so I'd be ready for work on Friday...not sure what I will do.

Then, dinner at China Bay with Mom and a friend. At 11:00pm, off to the movie theatre to wait in line for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. It was good. Lovely end to a lovely day.

THEN, my friend Shannon at Bird Star gave me a tiny shrine that she made to "Our Lady of Perpetual Patience" with a prayer and all. I love it! It is just lovely.

Life is good. Yes, indeed.


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