Monday, January 14, 2008

Home is a hotel this week

I am staying at a very lovely little hotel this week. It is craftman-like in style, smells good in the lobby, has real feather beds, leather chairs and a full kitchen. What more could I ask for, really???

Sad that I have to take a trip to have a social life...but that's the truth of it and has been for a long time. I don't quite understand it but I accept it.

What is so interesting is that these people see ME - not who I wish I was, or who I try to show or what I am afraid people see. They GET me. It's almost frightening sometimes to talk with them when they know the concerns that I have and the way that I think. I feel badly that I'm not as good at reading them or remembering things as they are...I have to work on that.

I often feel like the real me when I am with them. Sometimes at home, I don't really know what people want from me and I feel bogged down by expectations. If I lived here, would I start to feel the same way? Or does the fact that I have an adult relationship with these women - started as an adult- have something to do with it.

I got an invitation from my best friend from high school today- she has this amazing annual Chinese New Year party that I always look forward to in the winter. Last year, my friends from Cali came with me and it was this very cool blend of my past and my present/future in a room together. I liked it. When I got the invitation, I wanted to see if my friends could come up and go with me again this year.

Anyway, I am going to go lounge in my hotel room. Ha. Even after a dozen trips this year, staying in a hotel still seems really decadent and fabulous to me. I guess it's the kid in me.

Anyhoo - ttfn. Good night.

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