Monday, December 29, 2008

Day 29: Dad

The first day I wrote to thank my dad, I didn't write much. I just posted a picture.

Today is the second anniversary of my dad's death. I miss him.

I am thank-full that my dad didn't limit me - he never treated me like a "girl". I sometimes wondered growing up if he would have preferred to have sons because he loved the outdoors so much. I went camping for the first time when I was a week old and continued for years to come. He taught us how to fish and camp and when they joined the Boy Scouts (our neighbor was into it and the Boy Scouts were more family oriented than Girl Scouts...), we went to Boy Scout Jamborees in Switzerland. We hiked in the Rockies, fished in the Gulf of Mexico. He never said I couldn't or shouldn't do it.

Dad always supported me in theatre, too. In the beginning, in high school, he would come to the shows and we would gauge how good the show was by how many times he left to smoke. Later, when I was interpreting shows, he was almost disappointed if he didn't go. He would always wave from the audience and told everyone (including me) how proud he was of me. That always felt good and was so unlike him...

My father and I had our differences and some of them were big ones. But I know he loved me and respected me. I hope he knows I felt the same way.

I was with my father when he died. I am glad I was there but sometimes, the images haunt me. All the what ifs come back to pick at me when I feel the most vulnerable.

Dad, I love you and I miss you.

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