Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Shedding Skin

I imagine that when a snake is getting ready to shed its skin, it gets all itchy and twitchy and wiggly in preparation. I bet the skin is tight and the snake feels all squeezed in - uncomfortable.

I feel like I'm getting ready to shed my skin. Now, I don't know for sure, but I don't think snakes think, "But I like my skin the way it is. Even though it is uncomfortable, it is familiar. I would rather stay in this too-tight, not right, drying-up, ready-to-be-gone, scaly skin." Why do I? Fear of new skin? Fear of the time when the new skin is all pink and raw-like and easily injured? Fear of the new skin being weirder, tighter, looser, prettier, uglier, easier, harder? Different?

I know this is just part of the process of Becoming. But I hate it. And at the same time, I know it is important. But I don't like scaly, itchy skin. I can't get comfortable, no matter how I sit, stand, lay, crouch, sleep, wake, work, drive. I just keep worming around, trying to find a comfortable position.

I wonder how long it takes to shed one's skin? I'm really good once the thing is the dread of the unknown before something happens that is the killer for me...Maybe it has already started...or it will tomorrow.

I hope my skin is neon pink when I get done - bright and colorful and interesting. But not tender like a sunburn.

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