Day 29: Unconcious Patterns

“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconcious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character...” ~Stephen R. Covey

On Patti Digh's blog today, she talked about patterns and finding the patterns in our 37 Days Challenge. I decided to think about that today.

One of the great values of this exercise, for me, is that instead of falling into some of my old patterns, I have been able to keep this journey present in my mind daily. I wouldn't say in the front of my mind exactly, but ever present.

I haven't necessarily been successful at the HOW of it (30 minutes at lunch every day thinking about the kind of person I want to be - what is there, what needs work, what I need to figure out). I have been successful at incorporating those qualities and focusing on them more. I find myself trying not to multi-task while on the phone (I'm not at 100% yet). I make sure to make eye contact with the person I am talking to face to face - acknowledging people, thanking them for whatever I can, smiling more. I have been trying to enjoy my connections, my time, my activities more.

I have work to do. I have some things I haven't done - mostly commitments to myself that I haven't lived up to. That is my pattern. Even in this exploration of self, it has been mostly outwardly focused. I don't think it is a bad thing - to treat others more compassionately, to try to be kinder and more present. However, there are some things I need to do for myself.

I will be taking a vacation in May - that will be for me. :) I will be seeking out opportunities for connection and joy because those things will sustain me in the times when I need to focus on others and other issues. I'm not done with this challenge - still a few days left, and still some items on my list. Some things will morph into other actions, reactions and pursuits. It is an exciting time and a scary one. I feel at times like I haven't done enough. I haven't thought deeply enough or really touched on what needs to be touched on...is that fear? I will keep looking, keep asking, keep trying.

Today, I think I helped someone feel good about themself on a really, really emotional and difficult day for them. Even if it was only for a moment.