Endings

I know that we are coming up on the end of the year in a few days. Last year, I participated in the Reverb10 but I was left somewhat uninspired. I worked on Reverb11 a little this year, but wasn't consistent.  When I read other bloggers reflections back on the year, I realized that I didn't share that experience of learning something, having a most memorable moment, etc.  This year was a year of work and some play, some travel, little vacation.  I didn't see many movies, I didn't read many books. If something spectacular happened, I usually wrote about it here. I had some strange adventures in performance interpreting, experienced some of the usual frustrations and joys most people experience in a year. 

This year, 2012, I'm going to try to see if I can't up the ante a bit and give myself some reasons and methods for remembering. I haven't got it all figured out, but I do have some classes and things coming up that I think will be good for me to start figuring it all out.

As 2011 ends, I feel at a bit of a loss. This was a strange year for me. Pretty mellow in many ways. I think that's okay, too.

Working on a Presentation

I am working on a presentation to interpreting students tonight, so this is short and sweet.

I love presenting - I love sharing ideas and stories and seeing people get excited about interpreting and doing the work. I miss interpreting so much sometimes and yet, I know I couldn't go back to being a full time interpreter just in terms of benefits and all the business aspects.

Anyway, I'm presenting on VRS and Performance Interpreting - a lot of ground to cover in a short time.

Days Off, Brain Off

One performance down - one more to go. I have the next 4 days off (I will rehearse some for the next performance, but tomorrow and Monday - OFF!!)  I'm going to do art and watch some movies and REST.

Also, my mom is out of the hospital and seems to be doing better. The doctors are doing some aggressive follow-up care which makes me happy.  Thanks for all your kind thoughts, kind words and positive energy.  I really appreciate it.

Busy-ness Ahead

I have been working late most evenings this week - either at work or at rehearsal. I haven't been able to do much work in my art journal, which is disappointing, but understandable. I went to the show so I got home late tonight, too, and I left my camera in my car, so I don't even have pictures to post of the work I DID do. :)  It's all good.

Tomorrow is BOOKFEST! Yahoo! I'm so excited this year!  Then I'm going to see the show again on Sunday (I think...there was so much dialogue - I feel like I need to hear it at least one more time before the first performance) and rehearsal that evening.

Most excitingly, I am taking next Friday off for a nice, long weekend! I can't wait! Anyway, I'm off to bed.

Gratitude for Good Friends

Last night, we interpreted the touring production of "HAIR". I'm sure I could say many things about interpreting a show like this.  It is so challenging to do shows that are so multi-layered, that have so many culturally iconic songs, that have so many popular culture references, that reference drugs and drug use in ways that I don't have ANY experience with and don't feel confident portraying in American Sign Language.

At the end of the show, the audience members are invited up onto the stage to dance and many of them take advantage of the opportunity. Ushers came to stand behind us - to protect us and to protect audience members from falling off the stage and stairs. One guy, in a particular hurry to get off the stage (why did you go up in the first place?), moved over to the side near the speaker, took a giant leap and landed squarely on my back before diving into the moving throngs of people with barely a backwards glance.  Aside from scare the CRAP out of me, having someone jump, full weight, on your back while you are holding your hands in the air interpreting for the last 2+ hours creates some issues. Back spasms are one issue right this moment while I am typing. SIGH.

So after all that, I opened up my facebook to find this email sent to me after the show:

"I just wanted to drop you a note to tell you that you are amazing. I watched you all night at Hair. You doing your thing was the highlight to my night. I could watch you all day. Seriously, at one point, you brought tears to my eyes with your amazing skills. Thank you for being so good."

I could just cry.

I sent the person a note thanking them for taking the time. It felt like the yang to the yin of getting physically attacked.

Mercury has been in retrograde and yesterday was supposedly the last day. Thank God.

Multitasking or Multidistracting?

Today, I started doing about 100 things and then the phone rang or I got an AIM or an email and I diverted to the new thing which then led to being diverted to the new thing.  By the end of the day, I had worked on at least 3 big projects but didn't complete any of them. Luckily, I made progress and none of them are due tomorrow...

I have to go back to that Yale professor's book...I think it is called "Happy" or something like that...He did a lecture on PBS (I think I posted about it...I will have to look it up) and talked about how our IQ drops 10 points when we are multitasking. I know that the perception is that people who can super-duper multi-task are more productive and more successful, but I KNOW that I am more productive, accurate and clearheaded when I can focus on one thing at a time.

When I first started this job, I felt like I had suddenly developed ADD or something...the layers of multitasking, the fast pace of change and technology seemed related to the job, but I realize now that we were just on the cutting edge. Working in the telecommunications field in a specialized area just means we were facing some of those issues earlier than the mainstream. In the beginning, it was fun to have a smart phone, to have AIM and email and phone and text with a pop out keyboard and to have instant access to communication. Now, five years later, I can't wait to unplug when I get home.

On the way out of the office today, I decided I was going to make a list of all the daily things I need to do and then a list of projects and a list of things I WANT to do. Then I'm going to come up with some kind of plan to try to limit the unnecessary distractions. The phone is always going to ring and people will need to talk, but there are some distractions I can work to minimize so that I can regain some sense of sanity.

Oh - completely off topic - bought plane tickets to go to Sacramento to visit my friends. I can't wait!! There for a few days of R&R, then back to start rehearsals for "The Lion King". Yay!

Show Done, Some Disturbing Thoughts

The show is done. It went as well as a show can go when you have 9 songs that you never even heard until 2 days before the performance. I wanted to be brilliant, but I wasn't. I think I did pretty well, but not brilliant. Not "ON".  I'm still tired from the cellulitis and working on Saturday and long days with evenings of rehearsals.  It took pretty much every ounce of energy I had tonight to get through the show.  When I left, I felt like I was dragging 1,000 pounds of rocks in my bag with me.

On the way home, I saw a firetruck, lights flashing, on its way silently to an emergency. I had a flashback to the night my dad died. Then a whole bunch of other unpleasant memories from that time. I think it is so interesting how these things just sneak up on you - I see an older gentleman walking down the street with a certain jacket or a certain slouch of the shoulders and I think of my dad or I see someone walking with a certain bounce and I think of Roby. One of the curses of having a vivid memory and seeing "movies" in your head is that you have vivid memories and you see the "movies" over and over - sometimes, these are not movies you want to see more than one time. I often relive the deaths in my life and while I truly believe that I was supposed to be there for them, it is really difficult to manage those memories so that they don't become a problem.

As if that wasn't disturbing enough, I had a day filled with anxiety of a different kind. I'm pretty sure that it is related to being tired and not quite recovered from being ill...  I just wanted to cancel the show, crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.  I wondered if I could convince my doctor to put me on medical leave for stress or for my actual health problems or for just feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to come up for breath. I know it will pass, I'm just not used to this level of anxiety. In some ways, I miss the days when I would get anxious, get a migraine from it, vomit for a few hours, sleep for a day and then get back to business. Now, I feel all the anxiety and for some reason, today, it just seemed like too much. I actually thought about quitting my job, quitting theatrical interpreting, hiding in a cave, walking out in the middle of the performance... these are not thoughts that are normal for me.  So, I'm thinking that booking my vacation has moved up a couple of priority pegs.

I'll keep you all posted on my progress - not only on my vacation booking, but on the rest, as well.

Tough Week

This week has presented a number of challenges and I am emotionally exhausted from it, hence my lack of words.

On a happy note, this Saturday is my friend's annual Chinese New Year party, so I will get to go and see her and hopefully some of my other friends. We don't always get together on a regular basis, but we usually gather at the party.

On Thursday, I interpret "Legally Blonde: The Musical" which is very catchy and peppy.  I like the music and it has a good message. My friends from Cali are coming on Thursday and then we are spending the weekend playing!  That will be fun!

For tonight, I'm still breathing in and out and I'm ready to hit the hay. That's all you can really ask sometimes.

Elephants are Beautiful

I love the colors in these photos and I love elephants.  I have always loved elephants and giraffes.  No idea why, but there you go.

The show went pretty well tonight - I was feeling a little low energy which made it a  little difficult, in addition the the sheer volume of the show.

The best part of this week is that I have a 3-day weekend and I will get to do some spontaneous art projecting. I love that.  I have some other stuff to do, but it's all good.  Divide the "Legally Blonde" movie...I will need to watch that soon to remember the story...

I can barely keep my eyes open and so far, I have typed two or three very strange sentences. I'd better go before my head hits the keyboard.

Log Jam

Well, it was bound to happen...my daily work world and my theatrical interpreting world crashed into each other this week.  It is all coming out ok, but I think it is because I just realized I can only do what I can do.  

I'm looking at some time management stuff to help me manage better.  The irony is that the stuff I want to fit in ISN'T work for once.  I want to manage my time for work better so that I can WRECK and do the Artist's Way and get ready for the Joy Diet book group and READ and watch a movie without feeling like I should be doing something else.  Although it has been a week of frustration and franticness, I learned a lot and I feel good about my decision to find a way to make the work work better so that the LIFE can be better.

Thanks to all of you who support me in any of these endeavors to en-joy life and to just be a person instead of a widget.  I think sometimes I felt like if I wasn't a widget, what was I doing here?  Now I know that I can "be" a widget for a part of my life, but I AM NOT A WIDGET.  It is GOOD to have a life outside of work.  It is good to find more personal satisfaction in personal stuff than in work - that is MORE NORMAL than my old habits. 

I'm not sure what all of this means in terms of the big picture, but when I can look calmly at it, I know it is the right direction to follow.  

P.S. The show went pretty well, I think.  Had a few minor bumps, but all the songs I was struggling to translate came together for the show, which was nice.  Topol is an amazing person, by the way. I'm still amazed at his work after all these years.

Insomnia

Usually, after a show, I'm pretty tired for a couple of days with the adrenaline rush and then the slow seeping out of all of that.

Apparently, this was not to be for this show. I'm happy that I'm not exhausted from the show, don't get me wrong. It's just weird. I woke up on Friday all bright eyed and bushy-tailed and EARLY. And Saturday, I woke up at 4:30am and couldn't go back to sleep. Again this morning.

I just want a good night's sleep...

My mind is racing...I guess there is too much going on to get much mental rest.

Wednesday Check In

Had rehearsal all day today - longer than expected but it was good. Then home to do some more. Then my eye swelled up - allergies, I think. Cold compresses, eye drops to hydrate, lots of water...going to bed soon. I think I just need to check out for a little while.

The show is tomorrow. Wish me well. I love this show, which always makes me more anxious to be sure I do a good job.

The performers are incredible, so I can't imagine not being inspired to perform as close to their energy level as possible.

Anyway, ta ta for now. This girl needs her sleep.

Day 8: Week At-a-Glance

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today was a good day.  I was basking in the after-glow of a thoroughly satisfying performance.  I felt like I had reaffirmed myself as an interpreter, I had met my own expectations (which are usually too high), I had a good time, I saw good friends and I was in the presence of a vibrant, moving, beautiful show.

I smiled all day today, even though my hips and legs are a little sore from standing in one place for so long.  My arms and shoulders and neck are all feeling loose - like I worked all the lactic acid out of my muscles.  I feel like all the tension and stress I have been feeling for the last couple of weeks slipped out of my body and left me feeling very physically tired, but in a very satisfying way.

My work as an interpreter is something that I sorely miss - now that I manage interpreters instead of doing the work full-time.   One of the interpreters in the audience last night (who had never seen me interpret anything AT ALL), came up to me and said, "I'm so glad you have this as an outlet to get that out.  You need to do this."  I realized she was right.  It's funny because people think it is the spotlight that is the attraction.  It isn't. For me, it is having the opportunity to participate in sharing theatre.  I am a storyteller at heart (although sometimes you'd never know it here...), so this feels like a natural extension of that.  I feel lucky that the Deaf community has welcomed me so - it is an honor.

This week was a good week.  Every day, whether I took a lunch or not (smile), I thought about the kind of person I am becoming, that I want to be, that I am already.  My thoughts went all over the map in this first week, but I am just taking the journey.  Once I got over trying to define the type of road I was on those first couple of days, it just became a natural part of the day.  Eight days down.  A lifetime to go.  Even if I stop the conscious participation after 37 days or 370 days, BECOMING will never stop.  

Happy Friday!

Day 7: Defying Gravity for real

"I'm through accepting limits, 'cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but until I try, I'll never know."  ~Elphaba in "Wicked" from the song "Defying Gravity"

Tonight was a blowout of all blowouts for my track record of interpreted performances.  There were co-workers, family members, Deaf audience members in the audience and I did the best possible job I could do. 

We hit every piece that required simultaneous signing and I felt emotionally engaged the entire time.  Sometimes, it is easy to fall out of a show while interpreting.  When I was younger, I was afraid to show some of the emotions I was feeling as I interpreted specific characters. Interpreting is so intense sometimes - other people/character's emotions, experience and language flowing through you.  Tonight, I felt like I struck the right balance between conveying the emotional content and not stealing focus.

I'm happy.  I usually think, "I should have done this differently. This wasn't clear..."  Tonight was not perfect - there is no perfect interpretation.  But I'm pretty sure the people in the audience depending on the interpreting got most of the story and the emotional content, as well.

It was a good night.  I love interpreting theatre.

Today, I am pleased with my level of commitment, my self-discipline in rehearsing this week and today.  I gave it my all and I got an extremely satisfying result.  

"Wicked" Appearances

I went to see the show tonight for our rehearsal purposes. The energy was definitely Wednesday evening energy. There were a couple of understudies which is not always a bad thing. The Elphaba understudy had an excellent range in her voice - I liked the deeper, meatier notes.

Seeing the show only served to make me nervous again. I wonder how much of my anxiety comes from the fact that I don't interpret all day every day anymore. I miss the work - I miss the brain activity. It is so different from processing paperwork and reading a million emails a day.

Things are coming along in the translation department - lots of ideas marinating in my brain (Thanks, Todd!). I hope I can do the show justice.

I love the whole idea a la "Into the Woods" of nice and good not always being the same thing. We are so fooled by appearances and assumptions. If someone looks a certain way, they must fit into this personality category. I hate that. It boxes people up and doesn't allow for us to be individuals who are complex and different in so many beautiful ways. I also understand the moment of epiphany when you realize that the only thing you can really control is your own behavior and response and that others are going to do whatever they are going to do, whether we manipulate or grab or try to change their minds. That is such a freeing moment - the moment we discover how small we are in relation to everything and how big we are in relationship to ourselves.

I'm going to stop babbling. I'm tired now. Going to bed.

Defy Gravity.

Defying Gravity - Interpreting for "Wicked"

I am rehearsing for the interpreted performance of "Wicked", a show that I love dearly.  The only problem is that it is quite complicated and I am struggling with translations that will equal the brilliance of the show...

Right now, I am focused on the pièce de résistance- "Defying Gravity".  I feel inadequately prepared for this song...ironically, I have interpreted the show before and I didn't feel that my translation lived up to the hype.  I went onto YouTube and looked up "Wicked" ASL performances and found a plethora of students...ahem..."interpreting" the songs, but I am still worrying over the song.

I'm posting the song here and welcome any ideas regarding imagery that you get when you hear the song - doesn't have to be from an interpreter - can be from anyone who is inspired to help a desperate person or who loves the show. :)  I understand the meaning of the song, but I just need to open my mind to some of the imagery and some of the possibilities of the song that I haven't even wrapped my mind around at this point...This is a truncated version of the song since the only legal copy available is from the Tony awards. 

Thanks in advance!

The interpreted performance is on Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 7:30pm at the Keller Auditorium.

Presenting is Good

As I approach my 20th anniversary as an interpreter, I am realizing how good it is to be comfortable in my skills, in my strengths, my knowledge.

Today, I presented on Theatrical interpreting at WOU and it went really well. The students were very engaged and asked insightful questions. I had a power point and a packet that I didn't need to use because I've been doing this for so freaking long, I don't need notes to talk about it. The process of developing the presentation helps me clear my thoughts and the drive down helps me pick the music that I want to use as examples.

This year, I used "Spring Awakening" as that is the show that has most resonated with me this year. I had the students interpret to "Away in a Manger" (the Christmas song) so that they would get the feel for interpreting something when you KNOW the words and "Mama Who Bore Me" from SA as an example of a song they didn't know. I didn't care about the interpretation so much as the FEELING of interpreting something they weren't familiar with. I hope it was fun for them...it was certainly fun for me.

I love being 40-something. I love that I have been doing this job long enough that I know what I know and I know I need to learn more and I know where I need to improve. It felt really good. I loved introducing a topic that has brought so much joy to my life and has been the impetus for so much growth, both professionally and personally.

So, here is "Mama Who Bore Me" from "Spring Awakening" - for your enjoyment. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqIlbmAc_VQ

Here is my other favorite song from the show, "Left Behind". It has really beautiful lyrics - especially if you have ever known someone who died very young...This is Hunter Parrish (as Melchior)


And an acoustic version from Kyle Riabko...