Sparkle Goes Christmas Shopping

First of all, yes, I am getting as much mileage out of *Sparkle* as I can because I know it will go away soon and I am enjoying it too much. :)

So, I finished my Christmas shopping today (I kept putting it off on the way home from work).  Overall, it wasn't too bad because I had decided that whatever got done was going to be as good as it gets. The traffic was pretty bad around town, but I was listening to "West Side Story" as prep for my show, so I didn't really care about that.

The one thing that was the most challenging and really put a damper on my whole experience was the number of shoppers who were on their cell phones in the store, standing in the center of the aisle with their carts just gabbing on the phone.  Really?  It's amazing we ever lived a day without being on the phone 24/7!

In particular, one woman in the toy section with her poor husband.  He stood dutifully by watching as his wife, clearly dulled from all the electronic signals zapping her brain, stood in the middle of the toy aisle talking on the phone. Even when I said, "Excuse me" for the third time, she didn't move. Every time I went down an aisle, there she was. There he was. Looking apologetic, but not apologetic enough to MOVE THE CART.  Mostly, I just walked away and tried another approach to get where I was going. Finally, after the fourth or fifth encounter, I just pushed on by.  I did see them in another area later, so I went out of my way to walk through the book section so that I wouldn't have to deal with them.

I will never understand the need to be on the phone every waking moment.  I will never understand constantly being on the phone in stores (or anywhere else).  I can feel my feet fossilizing as I type. I don't care. I still don't get it.

Sweet Aftermath

So, it all comes down to this - a lot of bustle and running around, a few hours and a lot of ripped paper, some good food, lots of hugs and a sense of relief and contentment.

My friend said it best last night, "It's nice to know that out there in the world there is someone who loves you just the way you are." And that is very true. I got to spend the holiday with all the important people in my life and I feel very loved. Not because of gifts (which I gave and received), but the genuine enjoyment of each other for the day.

Next year, I'm going to come back and read this before the holidays so that when I get frustrated or overwhelmed, I will see what it is all about and remember this afterglow feeling.

Christmas Memories

As promised, a little bit about my Christmas past. I don't think I'm alone in feeling torn between the way I was raised and the inclusion/political correctness of our society. I try to be as sensitive as I can to the needs of those who don't share my cultural traditions, and at the same time, I sometimes get frustrated with the level of our pendulum swing.

I was not raised in a religious or even spiritual home originally. I'm pretty sure that I spent more time at my friend's churches than I ever did at a church "home" with my own family. I went to church with my 3rd grade teacher in Germany, to a friend's Church of Christ church (no instruments - I'd never heard of such a thing), another friend's vacation Bible school (I can still recite all the books of the New Testament from a song I learned there), a Christian Center church with 1970s Christian rock music, I had Jewish girlfriends who never really taught me anything about Chanukah although I REALLY wanted to learn. Christmas was a holiday when Santa came and we got some toys and Christmas cards. Sometimes relatives would come to visit, but mostly, not.

When we lived in Germany, we joined in their traditions of wooden ornaments and birds on the trees. We celebrated St. Nicholaus day on Dec. 5 by putting a shoe by the door. If you were "good" you would get little candies and toys in your shoe. If you were not good, you would get a switch in your shoe.

From the ages of 9-12, I lived in Panama City, Florida where I went to public school. When I was in the sixth grade, at Patterson Sixth Grade Center, I was in the choir. That year, for the Christmas program, we did a musical called, "One Small Child". Clearly, Christmas has its roots in Christianity and is the celebration of the birth of Christ. I get that. When I was 12, I didn't really think about it that much. To give you a sense of this musical, here is the first stanza of the first song (yes, I still know it by heart...):
"One small child, sent from God,
stem of hope from Jesse's rod,
light of light, king of kings,
in his hand salvations rings.
Born to save us all from doubt and sorrow
born to lead us all to a new tomorrow,
born to be a hope for peace to every nation
a gift of love for all creation..."

I LOVED that musical. In fact, somewhere in a box, I have a cassette recording of us singing that musical. The entire show is about the REAL (i.e. Christian) meaning of Christmas. To be honest, although I was a fairly smart child, I didn't really register that the show was particularly religious because at that time, in that place (deep south, people), that was the norm. In the late 1970s in Panama City, Florida, I don't think saying "happy holidays" was a twinkle in anyone's eye. I don't know how it was for the rest of the country, but I'm pretty sure that we were fairly ethnocentric as a nation.

I remember when I was in high school - I think it was 1984 - when the word "Christmas" was banned from the school. We weren't allowed to have any form of Christmas anything. In our journalism room, we had a "Purple Wish Tree" that looked remarkably like a Christmas tree but was decorated with intricately cut purple snowflakes. My best friend at the time was Jewish and even she mocked the change "in name only" to all the traditions. I asked her at the time if it bothered her that there was Christmas stuff everywhere - did it offend her or upset her. She was not a religious Jew, she called herself culturally Jewish, so perhaps her answers gave me a false sense of safety - she didn't mind. In fact, one year, she spent the night with me on Christmas Eve and celebrated with the family in the morning.

Why am I rambling on about this? Well, I guess all of this is to say that I find myself confused annually. I respect those folks who do not celebrate Christmas and I don't want to offend them by throwing Christmas in their faces every two seconds, and at the same time, I love songs like, "Away in a Manger" and "Angels We Have Heard On High". I love "The Charlie Brown Christmas" special (particularly the tree). By the same token, I love that Peter, Paul and Mary sing "Light One Candle" to honor the Jewish tradition of Chanukah and I would love to learn about other cultures and their traditions. This week, when I was talking to folks who are "not from our tribe", I found myself commiserating with them. When talking to the Christmas crowd, I can relate to them.

It is complicated, isn't it?

Regardless of all of this, I wish anyone who visits here much joy and peace and a SAFE New Year. I wish you all love and laughter and time with your family and friends. That's what really matters, right? No matter what we call our celebrations or how they come to be, the most important part of that is love.

Christmas Eve Thoughts

I have been having some interesting conversations about Christmas and people's Christmas philosophies and behaviors lately.  It is fascinating how much pressure we put on ourselves and our families during this time of year when things are supposed to be joyful and festive.

I decided long ago (in 1996) that Christmas couldn't be about pressure and spending and presents - it was about people and I wanted to keep it that way. Granted, I go through a period annually where I stress about what to give, about how much I did or didn't spend, will they like what I got them, did I do enough...but I also find my way out of it. 

This year, at work, there was a woman in the break room having a conversation with a co-worker. Her family-in-law seems to be made of of people who are in the "big spender" must-have-lots-of-gifts category and she was feeling the stress of it due to the sheer number of people in that family. She has young children and some events have happened recently that would make it difficult to have a good Christmas for them, much less extended family and others.  I nosed my way into the conversation and advocated for drawing names, letting the family know that they couldn't do the big Christmas, but that seemed like it wasn't possible for this family.  

Then I remembered a gift that I gave that was not only a gift to the people who received it, but a gift to me.  One year, a friend of mine and I bought a big jar and some fancy paper from the art store and cut it into small squares. On each square, we wrote down one memory about our parents. I did a jar for each of my parents, so memories of my mother and memories of my father. My father was not one for Christmas and could be very Grinch-like on the day itself. When he opened that gift and unfolded the first slip of paper, I knew I had done the right thing. All that Christmas day, he would sneak out another slip and read it. He kept the jar with him in his chair all day long and near his chair for months and months after. 

I think at work they were also talking about what to give the kids' teachers - as even $10 each would add up with several children.  The co-worker suggested a letter from each child to their teachers telling them how they felt about the teacher or thanking them for their work.  I loved that idea...if I were a teacher, that is what I would want instead of gifts of apples and paperweights and other "duty" gifts.

I love Christmas because of how it SHOULD be, but I loathe Christmas as it is. I struggle every year because I see it in such a dichotomous way.  I remember what it is supposed to be and I feel what it feels like now.  I see such despair and stress.  We have put what is supposed to be a joyous time and a time for family and friends and celebration at the end of the fiscal year, the end of a school term, the time of year when the weather is the worst, the time of year when cutbacks are made to save the bottom line.  So we run around spending money we don't have on people we don't care about. We get a Christmas bonus or we don't and we are either disappointed with the amount or disappointed that we didn't get one...

I could go on and on, but I won't.  All of this is to say that I remembered a song that we sang in my 6th grade Christmas program.  In addition to the DEEPLY RELIGIOUS Christmas program (I'll talk about that tomorrow), we sang, "Christmas is a Feeling". The lyrics are below: 

"Christmas is a feeling, filling the air;

It's love and joy and laughter, of people everywhere.

Christmas is a feeling, bringing such good cheer,

It reaches out to touch you as the holiday draws near.

 

It's mistletoe and falling snow and candles burning bright

It's a baby in a manger on a cold winters' night.

It's glad noels and chiming bells and presents by the tree

It's the spirit of giving in you and in me.

 

But if Christmas is a feeling, filling the air

Then why oh why can't you and I

Try to make it last all year?"

It's a conundrum, ain't it?  Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate. Peace to those of you who don't.

Merry Christmas - A Musical Tribute

Apologies to any Deaf friends who read this blog. Today's post is very hearing - Christmas videos. I will have a Thank-ful post later today, as well.

Boney M – Mary’s Boy Child/Oh My lord


Clay Aiken – Mary Did You Know?


“Carol of the Bells” Mormon Tabernacle Choir


Do you Hear what I hear –




Some Children See Him – Melinda Doolittle


Heat Miser/Snow Miser song


Little Drummer Boy – Vienna Boys Choir


Peter Paul and Mary
A-Soalin’


Children Go Where I sent thee



Light One Candle


Away in a Manger – Mormon Tabernacle Choir
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJO15vuC8g0