Show Done, Moving On

Well, I'm a little sad that I am just checking "West Side Story" off my list of things to do, but I am.  I enjoyed the show and I feel like I did a good job.  At the same time, it felt like a dangling piece of 2011 since I started working on it last year. I have all these projects and things I want to be doing for the start of the New Year and I am going to be able to start doing some of them.

I feel really good about where things are and how I feel about this year. I don't have unrealistic expectations, just some good plans to do some things for myself - things I have needed/wanted to do for a long time.

Blogoversary coming up on January 7.  4 years. 16 year anniversary of Roby's death on January 8. Dec. 28 was 5 years since my Dad died.  Winter is a heavy time for me, sometimes.  This year, I feel like I'm connecting with some of this in a new way and I'm happy about that.

I was smart enough to take the day off tomorrow, so I roll into a weekend with a day to myself. Nice.

Happy New Year to all! Welcome 2012!

I wish for you (and me) a happy and safe New Year's Eve and New Year.  I welcome 2012 with all its lessons and joys.  I hope the lessons are gentle and the joys many.

Thank you to any of you who stop by here to visit. I hope you will continue to do so. I'm looking forward to another year of WildRumpusing with you.

2011 On the Way Out

It is hard to believe the year is drawing to a close...time is such a weird thing. In so many ways, the year has gone by very slowly and in other ways, it has whizzed past me.  I feel a pull to look back, but as I have said, when I do look back, I'm not finding anything too remarkable.  So, the last few days of the year are really looking ahead to what is coming up in 2012.

I will have to go back and read the end of 2010 to verify, but I feel very happy that 2012 is almost here.  I have some plans for myself, large and small and I'm excited to start. Obviously, I don't have to wait until then, but sometimes, having a clear starting point, starting off with a clean slate and an easy date to remember for something new is a good thing.

I hope I'm not ultimately disappointed in myself. I'm trying to just go into this with some excitement and also the knowledge that I will make mistakes and I will not succeed the first time (or the second or the third) sometimes. That's okay. For me, the trying is important. The imperfection is important.  I have a lot of lessons I need to learn and I'm trying to just be open to learning them and taking it all in.

Okay. I'm just going around in circles...I do that sometimes.  I'm going to sign off for now. I will be back again for the last day of 2011...Crazy, huh?

Endings

I know that we are coming up on the end of the year in a few days. Last year, I participated in the Reverb10 but I was left somewhat uninspired. I worked on Reverb11 a little this year, but wasn't consistent.  When I read other bloggers reflections back on the year, I realized that I didn't share that experience of learning something, having a most memorable moment, etc.  This year was a year of work and some play, some travel, little vacation.  I didn't see many movies, I didn't read many books. If something spectacular happened, I usually wrote about it here. I had some strange adventures in performance interpreting, experienced some of the usual frustrations and joys most people experience in a year. 

This year, 2012, I'm going to try to see if I can't up the ante a bit and give myself some reasons and methods for remembering. I haven't got it all figured out, but I do have some classes and things coming up that I think will be good for me to start figuring it all out.

As 2011 ends, I feel at a bit of a loss. This was a strange year for me. Pretty mellow in many ways. I think that's okay, too.

Goal for 2012

One of my goals for 2012 should be to hear WHAT people are saying and not HOW they are saying it. Sometimes, the how overwhelms the words.  I usually hear the words, but what I remember is the tone of voice, the presentation.  I need to just hear the words and not react or feel that the tone represents what the person is feeling towards me.  The older I get, the more I realize that most often, their stuff has little to nothing to do with me on the outset. How I react may determine if it BECOMES about me and I would like that to happen less and less.

We'll see how it goes.

Blinking into December

I can't believe that today is the last day of November!  Time does really fly by more and more as I get older.  It is disconcerting sometimes how quickly and easily I lose track of the days and the time.

Looking back on the year so far, I feel pretty good about it in many ways. I think I have done some things and developed some habits that really have helped me relax and enjoy life a little more. There are other things I haven't done (like getting a regular reading practice again) that I hope to accomplish in 2012, or at least start.

I'm already thinking about the new year - no resolutions, just thoughts for the year and goals I want to accomplish.

Ringing in 2011

Today was a good day. I went to my friend's house for brunch, played Apples to Apples, ate french toast (on Texas toast bread) with bacon and a wonderful fruit salad. I had a mimosa and we laughed and laughed. It was good medicine.

My back and neck are still stiff and sore from my "Hair" incident on Thursday - I liken it to being in a car accident. How long does whiplash last, anyway?

One funny thing that happened was that my friend, B., had made some hand-bound books and left them in storage at her mother's house. Her mother wrapped them up this year and gave them to B.'s partner. They didn't really have anything to use them for, so they gifted them to me, along with a beautiful red, yellow and pink scarf (photos of the scarf later - it is beautiful).

I knew immediately that I would use the new journal for a starting place this year. I have been looking for a way into art journaling again. I have struggled so hard to get back to it - wanting to, feeling the weight of perfection and expectation from myself. I decided to join the Art Journal Every Day Challenge/Project and this is perfect for a start.

I can't sit and look down too long, so I only worked for about 35 minutes tonight, but here is the cover of my first 2011 journal (I will have several, I'm sure.

My first 2011 Journal cover. Made by BJB.

While I was working on the journal, I put in "Yentl" and listened to the brilliance of Barbra Streisand's amazing movie and music. I love this movie. I can't believe it has been so many years. I think it has been 26 or 27 years since the movie was out.

Happy New Year, everyone!  I'm looking forward to 2011! Many good things are headed our way. I can't wait!

Reverb 10 - Day 31: CORE STORY

December 31 – Core Story

What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) (Author: Molly O’Neill)

Right now, at this time in my life, I share my story here on WildRumpusing. There are lots of things I can't/won't/don't say here, but if you read this blog for long, I'm pretty sure you get a sense of who I am and what I care about.

The core story of me right now is that I am settling into the person I am, discovering things I want to do, see, change, accept.

I am a writer.
I am an artist.
I am creative.
I am strong.
I am sensitive.
I am vulnerable.
I am capable.
I am lonely.
I am happy.
I am frightened.
I am brave.
I am smart.
I am learning.
I am a teacher.
I am a student.
I am Jean.

2010 taught me many lessons through a difficult lens. 2011 will certainly have its share of that, but I am looking towards learning through a joyous lens. You can learn through joy or through pain. I am choosing joy.

{Future tool: Susannah Conway’s Allowing Dreams} Today is the final day of #reverb10. Thank you for your reverberations this month. Keep an eye on your inbox at the end of January 2011 for something from HQ.}

Year of the Tiger

Happy Chinese New Year or in one dialect Gong Hay Fat Choi!  2010 is the Year of the Tiger.

The Chinese Zodiac is based on 12 year cycles, so you can find out what your representative animal is by going here.  My animal is the Sheep. Much of what they said here fits the bill, but hopefully, not all of it. :)  Sounds a lot like the Cancer/Crab in our Zodiac. According to this, the associated Sun Sign is Cancer. :)

Anyway, I went to a Chinese New Year celebration yesterday. It was good to see everyone. They had a whole roasted pig (ick) and a contest to name him. Ultimately, he was named Jorge, the Pig of Yum.  Lots of conversation, kids, and laughter.

So what does the Year of the Tiger hold for us?  According to Chiff (a website I found with my Google search - take this with a grain of salt): 2010, Year of the Tiger, looks to be volitile, both personally and globally.  I believe the exact phrasing was "massive changes and social upheaval". It indicates that the more adaptable you are to change, the better off you will be.

Since 2010 has already started off that pretty rocky in some ways, I'm hoping it will dwindle down as the year progresses. I'm not sure I can do much more upheaval and and change.  On a personal note, 2010 has been a distinct improvement over the end of 2009. I think I'm going to just take it one day at a time.

New Year, New Hopes

I couldn't sleep last night - I have such a feeling of optimism for this year. I usually just pass the new year by and move on, but this year, I really sense positive change and I guess I had some need to usher it closer faster. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the things I'd like to do this year, but I am just going to keep moving and see what happens.

I have already taken some actions - paid for my art courses that I am taking this term - several Saturday courses for no credit. They are one day courses - show up, learn some technique, do some art and go home. I can hardly wait. I decided that my New Year's Day gift to myself was to get Jamie Ridler's Soul Reflections E-version. I haven't started it yet, but I will soon.  I spent some time reading and learned how to do a zentangle (I have been seeing them at Hybrid J's blog.  I'm not very good yet - I didn't like the doodle/designs I chose, but I understand them a little bit better now.

My biggest accomplishment today (aside from getting dressed) was to do my Full Moon Dreamboard for the Blue Moon.  I worked on it yesterday, but I didn't finish. I'm not sure I'm done now, but it is closer to done, so I'm willing to share.

First, my first zentangle. I tried to rotate the picture when I edited, but I had to use a new program and it looks like it didn't save.  I liked the idea of these, but I don't quite have the hang of it.

A couple of photos of my Dreamboard.  I started off with this ad that I found in several magazings. The color isn't true in the photos, but I really liked the teal-y background color and the trees in the photos.  I used two copies of the ad to be the background for most of the collage.

I started covering up the ad information with stuff.  It was not the best technique - it made me put things in odd places to try to cover the ad info instead of where I felt pulled to place it.  I also think I started gluing too early - usually, I try to arrange stuff and make myself happy and THEN glue.  Still, I like where it is going.

 

 Here is the closer to done versions.  I took a couple of pictures because I couldn't get a good picture without cutting off one side or the other. I may add some more stuff tomorrow...I felt like I didn't have any PEOPLE in this collage. That's unusual for me. I found lots of text for this collage, but I like a balance better. We'll see what happens.

 

 

 

 I thought it was interesting that BEAUTIFUL came up so many times. I was glad to find ART  and JOY and surprised to find RITUALS as one of my scraps.  The teal-y color is really appealing, although it didn't go with the pink too well. I was looking for yellows to come into play, but they just didn't.  I was also happy to find the word PINK and also the phrase: HEALTH AND WELLNESS because that is something that is important and will be a focus for me this year. I'm pretty sure that I will be using some of my Art Journal techniques on the collage to bind it - it feels unfinished in some ways and I am wondering if it isn't something to do with that. I almost did decided to make one of the amazing 16 page journals and do the collage there. I still may, but I needed to do this one first.

Anyway, this was a fun process. It is more fun to do it with my friends, but since that didn't work out, I'm glad that I did it in their honor and for my own look ahead into the year.

New Year's Eve and a Blue Moon

I have so romanticized the idea of the Full Blue Moon tonight. Then I Googled "blue moon new year's eve 2009" and went here where I found out that not only is the blue moon just the second full moon in a month, but that the phrase "once in a blue moon" doesn't even have anything to do with it.

It doesn't matter, though.  Tonight draws 2009 to a close and it has been a year of ups and downs, as any year has.

I went back in the blog to read some posts from the beginning of the year and I have definitely come a long way in some areas. I didn't achieve my reading goals, but I did start out strong.  I am going to be revisiting that commitment to myself in 2010 - not as a resolution, but an attempt to enjoy my life more.

Some of the journey this year has led to photography, art, art journals, taking art classes, workshops, travel, new blogs to read, new friends, self-care. I am practicing more to be who I am and to live my life instead of planning for it. For me, some planning will always be involved, but not to the detriment of EN-JOYING it.

Tomorrow, I will be collaging my vision for the new year in conjunction with the Full "Blue" Moon Dreamboards.

My phrase for the year drawn randomly from a set of cards (from Christine Mason Miller's "Ordinary Sparkling Inspiration Cards": "You Are Needed"

January - National Letter-writing Month

I read somewhere that January is National Letter-writing month. I love the idea of that and I really want to write letters to people, but it is supposed to be handwritten.  I do think that we have lost the fine art of handwritten notes. 

Opening an email is just not the same as finding a letter in the mail and knowing instantly who sent it by the handwriting. I miss that. 

Having moved a lot as a child, mail was always a way to stay connected with people.  My connection to all my extended family was solely from cards and notes sent. I stayed in touch with my friends when we moved via letter because back in the day, long distance calls were horribly expensive. I remember when I was 12 and we moved to Oregon - I used to be allowed to call Florida friends once a month for 10 minutes. I even had to set the kitchen timer to ring so that I would know when my time was up. 

I am not committing myself to writing a letter a day because I just know that I might not be able to live up to that and I hate breaking my word - even to myself. I am thinking that I might be able to manage postcards...that counts, doesn't it? 

Anyway, that's what I'm thinking about tonight.

Tomorrow is the Full Moon and it is the Full BLUE Moon, so enjoy!  This is a great way to usher in a new year and I, for one, can't wait!  2009 has been filled with some really great things and some huge challenges (mostly in the second half of the year), so I am looking forward to the change. ***Quick- write that down!  Jean said she is "looking forward to change".  That is definitely a change of pace.

Namaste and Happy New Year!