I'm Exhausted

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet today. I'm beat.

I'm wrecking my journal, rehearsing for RENT, working 12 hour days and not really sleeping that great. I know it will all calm down soon and I'm looking forward to that. I really just want to go to the movies and sit in the dark to be entertained.

Not very heroic in the month of Heroes, but there you have it.

Elie Wiesel

I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.~Elie Wiesel

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. ~Elie Wiesel

I do not recall a Jewish home without a book on the table. ~Elie Wiesel

I have long admired Elie Wiesel. He has devoted his life to humanity, to justice, to fighting against the hatred and violence of this world after being exposed to some of the worst atrocities ever committed. I find him mesmerizing. He is a man who does not chatter on - when he speaks, people want to listen to him.

If you have never read his book, Night, you must do so. It is difficult, but it is absolutely imperative for us to remember what happened duriong the Holocaust and to prevent this from ever happening again.  There are genocides and terrible events all over the world happening...we have to find a way to recognize each other's humanity.

Nine days and counting

I wanted to write about a hero...I wanted to wreck my journal...I want to shout from the rooftops about joining the telecoaching with Patti Digh...I didn't.

Today was day 9 in the marathon stretch as I prepare for my workplace to move. I realized today that I do not have the stamina, the patience or the self-control to work without a day off soon. I thought I could go until the move or until everything was packed, but as I shlogged home, shoulders aching, cranky and brain-fried, I realized that me working more than 15 days straight without a day off would not end well for anyone.

I am figuring out what the best day would be to take off. Woman cannot live by work alone.

And in my spare time, I'm rehearsing to interpret "Rent" as it tours through Portland. Sheesh!

Hero: Maya Angelou

Dr. Maya Angelou speaking at Bill Clinton's inauguration in 1993, reading her poem, On the Pulse of the Morning

Dr. Maya Angelou is heroic to me for many reasons, but I'm just going to share one moment, one evening, that makes me proud and that showed me how gracious she is.

I had the honor of interpreting an event with Dr. Angelou (it was a public event, I can say it) a number of years ago. It was an evening I will never forgot. I would say it was probably 6-8 years ago. My team person and I arrived at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall early so that we could dress and set up, etc. We weren't there very long when someone came to us and said that Dr. Angelou would like to meet us. They led us to her dressing room and when we entered, the person said, "Dr. Angelou, your interpreters are here." Dr. Angelou was seated and ushered us forward, taking my hand and my team person's hand, clasping each between her own.

"What is your name dear?" she asked in her magnificent voice. I told her, voice shaking, "Jean." "Your whole name?" I told her and said, feeling foolish and giddy, "It's a pleasure to meet you," and backing away before I did something even more foolish. She did the same with my team. She told us that she was grateful that we were there to ensure that her presentation was accessible to everyone and scraping and bowing, we left.

When we walked out onto the stage, there was a stool at the front apron for the "on" interpreter and a stool and a table set upstage a bit. The table had a white linen table cloth, two crystal goblets with ice water and a vase with a flower on it. Now, to put this in perspective, I have almost NEVER had ANY water offered or given AT ALL. When I interpreted Peacock in the Park, they always made sure we had water, but this, this was a whole different level. Everything was elegant and well thought-out. I'm sure this was the regular setup in each city with interpreters, yet it still made us feel special, and hopefully, the people in the audience using our services then also felt welcome.

Once we were done interpreting (one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my career- I wanted to be brilliant, but alas, I don't think I was), Dr. Angelou was taking her bows after a phenomenal performance. She turned and graciously acknowledged us, we bowed briefly and turned back to her, applauding her. To our surprise, she indicated that we should come towards her. We both hesitated, thinking we were imagining things. She bent her hand rapidly, "Come here," it said. We came forward, both standing about a foot away to her right. She said, "Come here, dear," and took my partner's hand, moving her to her left side, then she took my hand, each of us standing on either side of Dr. Maya Angelou, and she had us bow with her, holding our hands. She introduced us by our full names, first my teammate, then me, "Ms. Jean Miller." She didn't have notes. She didn't ask us. She didn't get our names mixed up. She remembered our names for more than 3 hours and shared the stage with us.

It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It was one of those moments when I realized how much civility, kindness, thoughtfulness, simple manners and acknowledgement meant. It feels good to be called by name. It feels good to have someone look you in the eye when they talk to you. It is important that we show our gratitude for the gifts people give us, large and small, tangible and intangible.

That evening lives in my memory as one of the greatest of my career. Thank you, Dr. Angelou.

The Tony Awards and Heroes

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."-- Pablo Picasso
I was brought to tears several times tonight by actors and others on the Tony Awards.  Karen Olivio, who won the Tony for Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical for her portrayal of Anita in "West Side Story".  She was overcome with surprise at winning and wept as she spoke of holding on to her dream and the support she had from her family and spouse.  Other speakers were emotional and commented on their pursuit of their craft and how difficult the journey was but worth it.

I think people who live their dreams are heroes.  It can't be easy to be broke, to be turned down, to be mocked, to give your blood, sweat and tears to your dreams when you never know what will happen.  I think it takes courage to be in theatre, to sing, to play a sport and give your heart and soul to it.  So many of us give up, lose hope, have to face the world of reality - AIDS, illness, financial problems, family issues, abuse, whatever those monsters are.  We get lost on the way.  

I am inspired to see people living their dreams - by Angela Landsbury winning a Tony award in the twilight of her career, in the boys who are dancing in "Billy Elliot", in Constantine Maroules (I don't know how to spell his name) playing a rocker when AI told him he would never be a rocker and should go to Broadway, to see Frank Langella strong as ever, Liza Minelli, Anne Hathaway in the audience looking like she was ready to burst during the opening number, Neil Patrick Harris hosting, the Spanish language added to the "West Side Story" revival, Jerry Herman receiving a lifetime achievement award (best known to me as the creator of "La Cage Au Folles" but also of "Hello, Dolly" and "Mame"). This list goes on.  I wonder what the world would be like if more of us could hold on to our dreams, hold on to hope, hold on to the thing that is the spark in our lives.  What would we look like? What would that feel like?

I'm still working on it.  My spark has been on a back burner for a long time, but I nurse it and it pops off into new sparks, little sparks that I play with and try to incorporate into my world.  It is the stuff of my dreams and it is what keeps me alive.  Those little moments when your heart skips a beat, when your breath catches in your throat at the beauty of a note, a color, a sentence, the sound of someone's voice.  

Good Vibrations - "In the Air Tonight"

Wanna feel good?  Go here and watch the video.

It made me cry, but I know that doesn't take much right now.  It just made me think that there are so many GOOD THINGS in the world and we miss them as we drive to work and watch the news and worry about the economy and about our family and about the war and about politics.  I want to celebrate goodness and good things and feeling good.  

These men are heroes in a different way - bringing joy to strangers is heroic. Patti is a hero because she sees good things and shares them with strangers. I love that.

Enjoy.

Completely Ecstatic and Aflutter

I just finished signing up for Patti Digh's new telecoaching class called "Live Your Wild and Precious Life Now"!  For more information, go here.

I know I have been raving about Life is a Verb here since it came out, but it is honestly one of the most true and authentic books I have ever read. Having had a similar life-altering experience through Roby's death and others, Life is a Verb and Patti's blog 37 Days resonates so deeply for me that I feel it all the way down in my toes.

This is going to be life-changing and life-enriching.  I don't know where it will lead, but I know it will only lead to good places in the end.  I feel so good about giving myself this gift.  If I were a dancer, I would pirouette around the living room.  If I were a singer, I would sing the "Halleluah Chorus" at the top of my lungs.  But I can write here that I can't wait to begin this project - Project Jean. 

Still a Hero 20 Years later...

Picture of "Tank Man", an unidentified protester in China's Tiananmen Square on June 4, 1989 standing in front of a row of tanks.  He became an icon of the resistance, but no one knows who he was.  (There seems to be some disagreement about the date of the photo - several news sites stated today was the 20th Anniversary, but Wikipedia states that the photo was taken on June 5.  Perhaps it was June 5 in China when the news sources were announcing it?)

Everyday Hero

Today, I got some bad news at work. Not horrible - no, I'm not fired. :)  It was just hard and I left earlier than I usually do.  I was like, "Well, I have had enough for one day.  So, I'm leaving early and getting my oil changed! So there!"  Now, it seems somewhat sad that getting my oil changed and leaving at 5:30pm is some big slap in the face of a bad day at work, but there you have it.

So, I drove home in the heat, listening to my Harry Potter audiobook (I'm reading ahead before I listen), got to the Oil Can Henry's near my house and when I pulled up and parked behind the car that was being serviced, I looked at the door and realized they were about to close in 20 minutes.  I had wanted to have the full engine cleaning and also get the oil changed "clean oil in a clean engine", but that usually takes about 30 minutes or so.  I have a light out on my car, so I thought I would just tell them I would like to top off my fluids and get the light fixed and come back the next day.

The youngish man who was helping me (mid-20s?) was quite friendly and professional.  I started to tell him that I would come back in the morning for the engine cleaning and he said, "No, no.  This is perfect, I can get your info into the computer while the engine is cleaning."  I said, "But I know you are closing..." and he replied, "Oh, that's fine. Don't worry about it.  Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll give you a discount on the whole price since you are getting all the recommended service."  Now, I don't know if the "discount" is real or if it all comes in a package that would automatically do that, but he was so earnest, I went ahead.

After it was all done, light bulbs changed, oil changed, engine cleaned, air filter replaced, they had a line of a couple more cars and it was nearing 7:30pm (30 minutes past closing).  I was feeling really guilty and when he was taking my credit card, the service guy said, "You were good luck!  You brought in a bunch more cars! Thanks!"  I said, "Thanks for staying open and doing this for me."  He smiled broadly and said, "No, we like keeping busy and you attracted some more cars here for us."

I left an oil change feeling like $100.  The guy was so pleasant and so upbeat and NICE.  That's what we are all missing.  Some good service, some smiling service...someone that is willing to go the extra mile.

I'm going to check my receipt when I go out to the car tomorrow and see if there is a number I can call to compliment this guy.  He should get a spot bonus or something.  I will return to that particular Oil Can Henry's just because of the good service he gave.  Maybe that doesn't seem heroic in the grander scheme of things, but he "saved" my day and I was really happy driving away in my humming yellow car.

Hero? Not Exactly, but Honorable Mention

I was one of the many people who shed a tear watching Susan Boyle on "Britain's Got Talent" on YouTube (links to come) giving us all a lesson in judging books by their covers.  She sang "I Dreamed a Dream" from "Les Miserables", one of my favorite songs.  She is spunky and funny and has a lovely voice and doesn't seem to have gotten many breaks in her life.

She gets an honorable mention here for perservering when an average person would have bucked under the pressure a long time ago.  Catapulting from local talented, but unknown woman to international star followed by paparazzi, singing on TV in front of millions of people in the space of 7 weeks is an experience not many people have had or would want to have.  My hat is off to her for seemingly maintaining her sense of humor, her class when congratulating the team that beat her on the show.

I hope she gets to sing for the Queen afterall, somehow, since that was said to be her dream.  I hope she gets enough exposure from this to have a comfortable and fulfilling life doing what she loves and entertaining audiences but not being harassed to death.

Heroes - June Theme

Well, we all know I like a good theme, especially when things are really busy.  I will be trying my hand at "Heroes" this month for Nablopomo (starting my 8th month).  I will probably intersperse the theme with posts on the move at work, the BookFest 2009 list and other fun little tidbits.

To stay on the topic of books, I want to say that two of my biggest heroes have to be my parents for being readers, for encouraging me to be a reader.  I remember always getting library books and books from the bookmobile and ordering books from those Scholastic Book Club paper order forms.  I remember that there was some kind of quota that had to be filled (a specific number of books or a specific $$ amount) and about 1/2 the time, I could put us over the amount with just my order alone.  I read and read and read and my parents let me.  I'm so lucky.

Some favorites over time:

All the "Little House on the Prairie" series

Judy Blume

Beverly Cleary

"The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe"

"The Secret Garden"

"Charlotte's Web" and "The Trumpet of the Swan"

"Where the Red Fern Grows"

The "Flowers in the Attic" series (when I was a teenager, they were all the rage)

"Helen Keller's Teacher"

"The Outsiders"

"The Velveteen Rabbit"

"Ferdinand the Bull"

"The Snowy Day"

"Horton Hears a Who" and "The Lorax" and "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and of course, "Green Eggs and Ham" and "Fox in Socks" and "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish"

I loved "Little Bear" and "Harold and the Purple Crayon" and "Winnie the Pooh".  I loved "Paddington Bear" and "The Boxcar Children", "Mrs. PiggleWiggle" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".  I LOVED "James and the Giant Peach", too.

Ahh, probably too many to list...

So, Heroes for June 1, 2009:  My Mom and Dad.