Reset Plan

I decided that February 1 was the real beginning of 2012 and did a RESET day at work. I have gotten some good feedback from folks - some seem to be liking it. Just giving us all a clean slate and an opportunity to work together to create something new and better (not that there was anything wrong - just an opportunity for choosing again).

Now I just have to live up to my end of the bargain.  I'm starting out pretty strong, so that's good.  2012 is a good year. I can just feel it in my bones.  Even if some hard things happen, it will be a year full of goodness and learning and growth.  I love that.

Still behind on everything, but that's okay. I will get there.

Real Life, No Frills

I'm am regularly reminded (at least this year) that there is much real life happening when I am looking the other way.  Obviously, we all have the work we do for financial stability, but there is also the work we are meant to do in the world.  I am struggling on the boundary between the two.

Sometimes, sometimes, the work I do in the day-to-day seems ridiculous when I see the work I am meant to do in the world.  Today was one of those days - but that sense of detachment wasn't a bad thing. It allowed me to take things less personally, to worry a little less about perfection.  (I said "a little less"!)

I have a friend who is quite ill and it just serves to remind me that our time here is short and that every minute I spend worrying about doing something perfectly or trying to make everyone happy (knowing that is impossible) is a minute I could be spending making sure that those I love know how I feel about them.

"Live life. This is not a dress rehearsal." I used to have a bumper sticker that said something like that quote. I just need to pay attention more often.

Tuesday Time Zones

Well, I had a hard time getting up today - time zones and all. I basically got up at 3:30am PST...I didn't sleep well as the neighbors were having a little too good of a time. Eventually, I just turned on the television to drown the noise out. I'm tired tonight, but I'm sure tomorrow it will hit me.  Today, I just lost language a few times - I couldn't understand when one of the participants was signing to me - it was just like I had never seen ASL before but I know it was just lack of sleep.

I am doing a separate post for NaNoJouMo (National Non-stop Journaling Month) with one of the blogs I read.  Click here for the first day's prompt.

Stay Calm and What?

I snapped a tiny snap today. Just a wee crying jag on the phone with my boss when the doorbell was ringing to deliver MORE chairs and the changes in the office and the schedule and the trip and the lost debit card and the recruiting and the thing and the other thing and the many things just got to be too much stuff.

I'm a cryer. I used to get migraines because I held it all in until my head exploded and then I had to get it out in terrible ways. Then I had hives for a year solid. For a while, I had bad nightmares and then there was the sleepwalking phase. Eventually, I settled on crying as my stress outlet. Sometimes, if I can catch it and watch a sad movie (one of the ones you practically have to turn off because you are crying so hard), I can produce the same release.  I didn't catch this one. I knew it was coming, but there was nothing that could stop it once it was on the way.

I feel a little better now.

Day Two in the Mile High City

Holy cow, was I tired this morning.  I have a second wind - too bad the others are all from east of here - I'm awake and they are probably all happily snoozing.  No worries, though - I usually need the down time. I love to be around people, but I definitely need the recharge that I get when I just spend some quiet time.

We worked hard today - almost 12 hours. Finally got back to the hotel about an hour ago.  It is raining, so everyone says I brought it from Portland. :) 

Glad Blogger is back up and running - I actually sent them a note today because I have been having problems for several days now. I know there were known issues, but this seemed like mayb the whole blog was GONE.  Funny how attached I am to this - I was kind of stressed out thinking that all the posts were gone. I have them in my email, but it isn't the same thing.  Luckily, it seems that all is well for now. So goes the digital world. 

On a related note - I only have like 10 days left with my sidekick. :(  Everyone has been teasing me. I know I'm a dinosaur - all the technology...I am attracted to it and repelled at the same time. I know I will have to get a new phone for work - I just worry about my ability to use it and I worry that I will be come addicted even more to the online life. I feel like I have a pretty hearty participation now and I don't really feel compelled to increase my level now.  I'm sure I will change my tune when I get a new toy - I just feel like the world is moving too fast for me sometimes. I will adapt.

Rocky Mountain High

Well, I am in Denver. I got up at 2:00am to get ready and get to the airport in time for a 6am flight.  The flight was uneventful but had a hysterical flight crew. At the end of the flight, one of the attendants said, "Well, I know you are all excited to get off the plane and see your loved ones, but before you do, be sure to redo the back of your hair because it looks awful from where I'm standing."  Everyone just howled.

While I won't say much about my work here, I will say that it is always good to work face-to-face.  It is true with people that you know pretty well, but even more true to develop a rapport with those you don't know very well.  It has been a great day so far, but I'm exhausted and have been struggling to gain access to the blog today.  By the end of the evening with everyone, I realized that the lesson I really needed from this trip, personally, is that I have to rebalance again. I've been talking about it, but I haven't been doing it.  I have to do it.  It is really, really hard to get to know people when you only have work to discuss. I have a whole life and other interests, but I don't participate in them enough and that has an impact over time.

Every May and every October, I come to this epiphany and yet, I haven't been able to stop the ball from rolling down that lane yet.  Maybe this year will be the year?

Back to work a day early

I'm going back to work a day early.  My right-hand woman is SICK.  So, I am going back.  It's fine - since I'm home a day early.

I have a feeling it is going to be a long week.

Rallying the troops - 37Days Call-to-arms (or letters, as it were)

Please go to this site and read the story about Glen Edward Chapman.  If you are so moved, please write a letter to help right a wrong.  I just printed mine.

http://37days.typepad.com/37days/2008/11/write-a-letter-for-glen-edward-chapman.html

It is small actions like this that make all the difference in the world.  Thanks to Patti for giving us the chance to help.

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My favorite Carrie Underwood song...

I'll Stand by You - Carrie Underwood (Idol Gives Back 2007)