Finding the Right Balance

I have a person in my life who is not there by choice and who has broken trust in many ways, with me and other important players in my life. When it is solely up to me, I don't choose to socialize with this person. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like it is up to me.

On this particular occasion, I decided to go because it seemed like a way to keep the peace. Then a Surprise! And then the realization of how much energy it would take to partake in this situation.

Tonight, five minutes away from my destination, I decided that it is ALWAYS up to me. I chose to be as friendly and social as I could be without faking it, but I also decided that I don't have to subject myself to SURPRISES! on the way or to people who put my personality up as an indictment for all to see. Sadly, I don't know that these people even know how much it hurts to be accused of things, to be labeled in negative ways, just to make them look better or to excuse the way they are in the world.

We all have our crosses to bear, but to actively and regularly put others down or on the defensive every time you are in each other's presence is really inappropriate and I'm not going to put myself on the docket willingly any more.

#Trust 30 Day 4: Post-it Question

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. Sign up below to receive the prompts by email. If you like this pledge, check out reverb10, it's inspiring.


Post-it Question by Jenny Blake


That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? . . . Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare. Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Identify one of your biggest challenges at the moment (ie I don’t feel passionate about my work) and turn it into a question (ie How can I do work I’m passionate about?) Write it on a post-it and put it up on your bathroom mirror or the back of your front door. After 48-hours, journal what answers came up for you and be sure to evaluate them.
Bonus: tweet or blog a photo of your post-it.
(Author: Jenny Blake)

*I am not at home and I don't ahve any stickies or anything to write with at the moment. I will do this, but it will be a hybrid. :)

How can I add more balance to my life to allow me to continue to be passionate about my work but to have an enriching personal life, as well?

(This one was EASY...so far...maybe the answers won't be.)

Rocky Mountain High

Well, I am in Denver. I got up at 2:00am to get ready and get to the airport in time for a 6am flight.  The flight was uneventful but had a hysterical flight crew. At the end of the flight, one of the attendants said, "Well, I know you are all excited to get off the plane and see your loved ones, but before you do, be sure to redo the back of your hair because it looks awful from where I'm standing."  Everyone just howled.

While I won't say much about my work here, I will say that it is always good to work face-to-face.  It is true with people that you know pretty well, but even more true to develop a rapport with those you don't know very well.  It has been a great day so far, but I'm exhausted and have been struggling to gain access to the blog today.  By the end of the evening with everyone, I realized that the lesson I really needed from this trip, personally, is that I have to rebalance again. I've been talking about it, but I haven't been doing it.  I have to do it.  It is really, really hard to get to know people when you only have work to discuss. I have a whole life and other interests, but I don't participate in them enough and that has an impact over time.

Every May and every October, I come to this epiphany and yet, I haven't been able to stop the ball from rolling down that lane yet.  Maybe this year will be the year?

Reverb 10 - Day 28: ACHIEVE

December 28 – Achieve

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. (Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

I most want to achieve BALANCE in 2011. If I achieved balance, I would feel centered, I would feel all the things I need to feel when I feel them instead of having things get stuffed down and then pop up when I least expect it.

To experience that feeling today, I just have to do all the things I have been exploring this year and in this Reverb10 project.  Take baby steps, look at what I can eliminate, what I can add, how I am beautifully different, remember what is really important. I need to practice mindfulness, gratitude, art. I need to surround myself with people who support me in finding balance and avoid people who wish to tip the scales one way or the other.

For me, it isn't a discovery that I need balance. It isn't news - it is me deepening my self-investigation, digging further into the pieces of myself that I have glimpsed but maybe don't understand or haven't see in full, glorious, brilliant color. I need to dust some of me off, I need to dig some things out and I'm sure there are pieces that I haven't even discovered yet. That's kind of exciting.

{Future tool: Gretchen Rubin’s Start Your Own Happiness Project (and be sure to visit the Happiness Project Toolbox!). For the next 4 days as you round out your year, we’ll share one tool each day to help you plan your year ahead.}

Sunday, Again? Already?

Where does the time go?  I thought I would get all this stuff done this weekend (every weekend) and I didn't!  Now it is 9:33pm and I am thinking of all the lists of things I wanted to accomplish this weekend and about my trip and what I need to do to prepare.  Instead of doing that, I am half-watching the Brooks and Dunn tribute and typing this post.

I don't know ANY Brooks and Dunn music, to be utterly truthful, but I wanted to see/hear Jennifer Hudson (who sang beautifully and looked beautiful) and Carrie Underwood (looked great and sang beautifully). Taylor Swift also sang and that was the first time I have ever heard her sing without flinching...

I think I am seriously going to start writing lists of what I want to do each day. Not a general list - those are always so freaking long that I get intimidated after the first day when I only get 3-4 things marked off (I always manage to do a bunch of things that I didn't think to put on the list). I think if I have a plan, maybe I will be better about executing it?

I'm always torn - I really need the rejuvenation of a quiet weekend and I like to do a few things for myself, but I get frustrated that I didn't get more stuff done. I will find a balance. I just have to MAKE it balance. I can do it!