My Mentor, My Friend

I found this video last night of my mentor and friend, Henry "Hank" Stack.  I owe so much to him that I will spend a lifetime trying to repay.  Hank has been gone now -I want to say it has been 10 years...

Here is a video of him talking about his life.  That voice you hear in the background?  That's me interpreting for him.  I don't think he would mind if I said it now.

Workshop Today

I went to a workshop on vicarious trauma tonight. I watched an important movie called "Audism Unveiled" which I have seen before.  It is something I plan to take in annually as it has powerful implications for the sign language interpreting field and some important reminders about the generational trauma experienced by Deaf and hard of hearing folks, as well as anyone who belongs to a group that has been persecuted or has experienced oppression. It is often easy to forget all the things privilege brings us.

If you want to know more, here is a link:  Audism Unveiled

The Anonymity of the Web

A friend of mine published an online article recently - it was professional in nature and thoroughly thought out, but imperfectly executed. I feel I can say that because *most* endeavors are imperfectly executed. I freely own my mistakes, as much as I hate to do that.  This person was making a sincere effort to open up a dialogue and to bring some thoughts to light that have needed to come to the forefront of our consciousness for some time now.

Unfortunately, people were determined to tear this article and this person down.  Some people who commented were on-topic, but there were many comments that were about the execution of the article, grammatical corrections, spell-checks and some attacks that really cut to the person's core.

It really has made me think about what I will say and comment on in the future. Our words have such power.  Known person or unknown person - we are all trying to find acceptance, to find our tribe.  When our own tribe attacks, it hurts. A lot. 
Over the last couple of days,  I have come to two conclusions:

1.  Marianne Williamson said in her lectures, "Two things bring out the darkness in other people - your darkness and your light" (I'm really paraphrasing, but you get the gist).

2. Even with our names on comments, it is so easy to feel invisible, anonymous and powerful when we comment on other people from afar. 

What I came to after thinking about that is that I am so grateful for the kind and thoughtful comments I receive here. Thank you.  Always, Thank you. 

When Worlds Collide

I went to a conference today and it was a touch overwhelming - there were people from all aspects of my interpreting/professional life.    I saw my former boss who is really responsible for much of the foundation of my practice and accomplishments as an interpreter - she always believed in me and challenged me.  I saw colleagues from my early, early days as an interpreter in K-12 settings and it was SO good to see them.  I saw students from almost every year that I taught in the Interpreter Training Program. I saw interpreters I used to coordinate at the University where I worked.  I saw folks who used to work for the same company I work for now, current employees, people from other states...Just everyone. Long forgotten names and faces.  And generosity.

Today was a good day.

Cutting it Close

Normally, I don't like to leave things to the last minute.  For interpreters, we have continuing education units that we have to earn to maintain our certification. We have to earn 80 hours of workshop/class/training time every 4 years. My cycle ends on Dec. 31 and I just completed the final .125 hours of my requirements. I'm a little bit over the amount required, but I like it that way in case someone drops the ball out there.

This is the first time I have been so close to the deadline - I blame it on having a full-time job. And, I took some workshops in the past couple of years that I didn't get the proper paperwork turned in ahead of time, so I didn't earn the CEUs for it, even though I did attend. Dumb.

So, I have already started on my next cycle - paying for it anyway. I am going to TerpExpo in January where I will be able to earn at least a couple of CEUs.  I have found several good on-line places to do some work and I am working on some projects.  My goal is to do 30 hours a year so that by the last year, even if I don't have to do anything, I will be a little bit over and will have continued to develop my skills and learning.  I actually can't wait to get started!

Now, wish me luck that all the people who are responsible for reporting these things does their job so that I'm not fighting to keep my certification.  On second thought, I may be doing another short one this weekend, just to be sure...

"Just The Way You Are" in ASL

I love this song and I love this guy's videos. Lovely.

Light Bulb

I have been struggling with confidence in my interpreting for the last year or so and trying to figure out what I could/would/needed to do about it.  I have several plans that I am working through.  I have also been frustrated about my input here in the blog. I should recognize that when I am having a hard time finding things to write about it is because I have allowed my world to constrict.  I am working on expansion.

Here are some of the things I am working on/thinking about:
1.  Arranging fundraiser for community event(s)
2. Creating a professional book group for professional studies credits, but also for contact with other interpreters in a more social venue
3. Creating a peer mentoring group where interpreters can come and do the work and get some constructive feedback, mentoring, set goals, etc.
4. Plan and implement some kind of monthly interpreter gathering during daytime hours - not in a bar. I enjoy the IPAHH (Interpreting Professionals at Happy Hour) when I can go, but Friday night just isn't a night I want to go out after work.

I may or may not succeed with these things, but I wanted to put them out there so that I can hold myself accountable to at least investigate the feasibility of doing some of this.  It feels good to be thinking creatively.

The Path Not Taken

So I spent the day off my work site today - part of it interpreting, part of it presenting.

As I was on campus before my presentation, it just made me wonder about the path I didn't choose.  For a long time, I really believed I wanted to teach interpreters and focus on that. I love teaching and presenting, but I didn't feel like I had the education for it and I knew that I wanted to finish my degree. I guess I got caught up in just working and thinking about "someday".  If I had just taken a class every term, I would have a doctorate degree by now!

I keep putting off taking courses, but I think I really just need to talk to my advisor at WOU and figure out what I need to do to finish my degree. If I could do some online and some at another college (preferably closer than WOU), I could finish before too long. I don't think I'm going to change my career path or anything - it is tying up a loose end and also opening a window, just in case.

Today, in my presentation, one of the things I said was, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."  I've never really said that outloud, but I have always believed that philosophy.  Even now, full-time, gainfully employed, I have kept some escape hatches open. It makes me feel safer and the air gets circulated, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, it was a good, if hectic day.

Working on a Presentation

I am working on a presentation to interpreting students tonight, so this is short and sweet.

I love presenting - I love sharing ideas and stories and seeing people get excited about interpreting and doing the work. I miss interpreting so much sometimes and yet, I know I couldn't go back to being a full time interpreter just in terms of benefits and all the business aspects.

Anyway, I'm presenting on VRS and Performance Interpreting - a lot of ground to cover in a short time.

Confidence Crisis

I am thinking about setting up some kind of interpreting practice group - practice sounds weird in this context, but I don't know what else to call it.

Since I don't interpret all day every day, I feel like I'm in a vacuum and I want to interpret some stuff with other people around to give me information/feedback/support.  At the same time, it is terrifying to think of it. I've been an interpreter for a long time but being out of the loop there is always this little, niggling voice saying that I don't have it anymore.  I want to shut that voice up.

Back in the Saddle on a Crazy Day

Back to doing some interpreting. I've been thinking lately that I need to just set up a practice time to keep my skills sharp. I think that I'm fine for most things, but I don't want to be fine. I want to be the best interpreter I can be. It isn't the product that seems to be the problem (most of the time) - it is the brain...my brain doesn't work as fast - I have to sweep the dust off every once in a while.  So, I'm thinking about an interpreting project for myself, too.   I have a lot of things on my mind lately, apparently.  And I want to do them all NOW!  Patience is one of the lessons I'm supposed to learn in this life.

Remembering Dean

On April 26, 1995, I lost my dear friend, Dean Cannavino.  He was an amazing actor, teacher, mentor and performer.  He was generous and funny and charismatic.  He died of AIDS.

I met Dean in the Fall of 1989 when he moved to Portland temporarily to star in a show with Northwest Theatre of the Deaf called "The Signal Season of Dummy Hoy" about a Deaf baseball player who was instrumental in creating the signals still used in baseball today.  It was a tremendous opportunity for me as an interpreter, as a signer, as a human being in the world.  Dean and I became fast friends.  Ironically, because I met him in his professional world, I always knew him as Dean. When he met people in the community, he introduced himself as "Dino" but I always called him Dean.

I remember so many things about my time with Dean (I'm looking for the photos to scan). Two memories stand out for me - one was just after a few weeks working on the show. I was at the middle school where I interpreted and one of the Deaf students asked me, "What are you doing now that is different?"  I wasn't really sure what they meant and I asked them about it.  The student said, "Your signing is different...more clear, something is different."  I knew immediately that it was from working with Dean, from working on the play, from meeting Deaf adults in the community instead of languishing - linguistically- in K-12.  I knew immediately that I needed more input so that my output would continue to improve.  I was SO LUCKY to have opportunities given to me where I could grow and be with people who were so generous and willing to mentor me.

The other memory that stands out is the memory of the closing night party after "Dummy Hoy".  It was at Dean's house (where he had been living during his temporary stay in Portland) and everyone was there. I was shy and not a member of the cast - I had served in other capacities for the show.  I so wanted to just follow Dean around and cherish every moment with him, but so did everyone else. He was incredibly charismatic and people just gravitated to him. Slowly, after everyone had eaten, people started leaving one by one...pretty soon, having no purpose, I started collecting dishes and cups and cleaning up.  Eventually, it was just Dean and I in the kitchen trying to avoid the end.  When we realized it was just the two of us, we both sheepishly admitted that we didn't want to say goodbye.  We had a good cry over it and promised to stay in touch.  I didn't think we would.  We did. For many years.  He went home again, but it wasn't long before he realized that he missed the Portland community and came back.

I have lots of other memories, obviously, but those two are the ones that came to me today as I was remembering him.

I miss you, Dean. Take care of Alan for us.

Small Life?

I was thinking today about a conversation I had recently and about how I should have asked the other person more questions or tried to lead them to share more about themself and how things were going. For some reason, it occurred to me how small my life has become right now.

The shrinkage of a life is so incremental, you don't even notice it happening until the walls are really close in. I don't think the walls are cement or permanent - maybe they are like walls in theatre - braced, but pretty easy to knock down if you have the drive and the tools. I don't even think that a shrinking life is a BAD thing - it is just somewhat surprising. I can't tell if it is really so small or if it was so big before that anything else seems a little confined.

When I started working as an interpreter, I worked in one school for a year and then the next for two years.  After that, I was a "floater" for the school district - I was basically a full-time sub. I interpreted K-12, interpreted staff meetings, parent meetings, special events, sports, etc. When I started doing that, I was petrified. I had originally thought I was taken out of schools because I wasn't good enough. Later, I learned that it was a huge and important opportunity. I worked as a floater for five years before moving on to "freelancing". I really never worked full time as a freelancer in the traditional sense - I always had about 20 hours a week that I filled with post-secondary ed. I had my shows, I taught.  I had my feet in a lot of different worlds.  I did that for about 8 years or so. Then I got sick and started looking for a "real job" with benefits and steady hours.

I think having that kind of freedom - working when you want, where you want, out in the elements for at least a part of every day, meeting different people almost daily- that makes for a really open and seemingly big life.  Then I worked as an assistant at the local school for the Deaf, then I went back to K-12 for 8 months. After that, I transitioned to the job I thought I had always wanted - an interpreter coordinator for a University. I worked 15-20 hours as an interpreter and then coordinated other stuff. I still did my shows and taught. But the world was getting smaller - one campus, one office, the same colleagues daily (positive and negatives there). Then I moved to the job I am currently in. In April, it will have been six years. It is hard to even remember anything else, in some ways.

Now, I go to the same place around the same time and work with the same people and do the same stuff over and over and over. Sometimes it is good. I have found strengths and skills I would never have known I had. But sometimes, I miss being able to drive off from a place and decide if I'm going to come back.  Sometimes, I miss just having some crazy story to tell about my day or something I did. Nobody really wants to hear a story about doing payroll.

Anyway, that's just what I was thinking about as I was driving home from work today.

Interpreting Dream

Last night, I dreamed that I was standing in a courtyard with 3 people I had interpreted for in the past. Not sure why these people were in my dream, but still, they were. One of my former mentors walked by and then suddenly, the courtyard turned into a large classroom for presentations.

Across the front of the room hung a large swath of fabric that the students were projecting on for their presentations. The instructor started to speak and I was on the opposite side of the screen - one of the Deaf students was standing in my spot and looking angrier and angrier that they couldn't see me interpret. I fought my way through the fabric, but there were other students gathered at the front (more like elementary school than University, but ok...). Finally, I got to the place where I needed to be and I had an argument with the Deaf student about why I couldn't go sit in the audience and interpret solely for them.

Once the argument was over, the instructor was reading their metaphor heavy, completely pop-culture referenced papers about musical groups in an auctioneer's pace.  I was interpreting as best I could about the music group Chicago when suddenly, I had to start walking down this hallway/path (there were doors and planted crops, so I'm not sure which it was).  I kept interpreting but pretty soon, I couldn't see the people I was interpreting for...so I turned around and started back. When I did start back, the entire path/hall was uphill STEEP, like need a rope to get up it. I was working my way back when the student who was mad at me for not sitting in the audience showed up and asked me where I had been - they were waiting.  I tried to explain, but I couldn't make progress and interpret and explain all at the same time.

Suddenly, I was at the top of the hill, but the entrance into the room was on the floor and was about the size of my head.  I squatted down, realizing that there was no way I could get through that opening without dying of a panic attack. The student was in there, urging me to come through. I put my head in to explain why I couldn't come through and I felt the panic start to rise.

I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep for a long time. Scary, huh?

Sage Advisor

Today was the "Signing Professions Career Fair". I really enjoyed being there and seeing the students who are just on the verge of graduating and going out into the world. They are so eager and fresh.

In a revisit of a theme I brought up a couple of posts ago, I realized while I was there that I was kind of one of the "old sages". I heard at least 50 times, "Everybody knows Jean." Then, the dean of my department came to me and let me know that he had an invitation to an event for me - the college is giving service awards and this year is my 15th year of service there. Isn't that wild? It is hard to imagine teaching for 15 years, but it is true.

The other great thing that happened today was that I received an incredible compliment. A person who was in a situation where I interpreted told me that my work was "a class above" the other interpreters they had worked with in the past in a specific situation. I was really honored and gratified to hear it. Since I don't interpret all day and only take select jobs, I have worried about the quality of the work I am doing. The person doesn't know sign language but has had lots of experience working with interpreters, so I felt there was some validity to their opinion. I'm not saying I am the best interpreter ever, but I was pleased to know that the work I did was satisfactory and that the person felt they were getting the information and intention in a way that they haven't before. (I don't know if that makes sense...)

Excitement for this weekend - I am going to try to make that Greek Lemon/Egg soup. Avgolemono Lemon Egg Soup. Yay! I love it. If you have never tried it, go to Alexis! They make some good soup. I miss going there - it has been a long time.