Today, 16 years ago, Roby Starns died. I still miss him.
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Roby Starns, 1985, Aloha High School Theatre Awards Night |
I know that it is difficult for people sometimes to understand missing someone for so long. After all these years, it isn't the intense missing that I felt when he first died. It doesn't burn or stab or throb. I don't wallow in missing Roby - I just miss him. I wonder what he would think about things sometimes or if he would like this music or this show or movie. I think of him when I watch Kurt and his dad on "Glee" because I wish Roby's dad could have been like that.
All combined, Roby has been a part of my life for the last 29 years...only about 1/3 of my life happened before I knew him. I think this kind of warrants some attention. Missing is okay to me.
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Roby at Hug Point, 1987 |
Most importantly, I think it is important to remember and honor him, our friendship, how he shaped me as a person (in good and bad ways), how our experience with HIV/AIDS and his death impacted me and taught me. I love him still and always will. It may not make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me. I believe I have it in perspective and I believe that I have carried on with life in many healthy ways. One of the ways I have been able to do that is to honor my dear, sweet, obstinant, funny friend each year on days that are important - his birthday and the anniversary of the day we lost a beautiful soul.
16 years ago, today, at 3:04 AM, I lost my best friend. Roby Starns, I miss you and remember you still.
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Roby at Ecola State Park, 1989 |
Sending you a big hug. I can feel your pain and love in your words. I am glad to hear you spent time with his mom too.
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