There's a part of me that is really mad at myself for not going to see "Rent" one more time while it is in town. Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp's farewell performances in the show as Roger and Mark. There is this part of me that is screaming to go and sit and let the show wash over me like I have so many times in the past.
But I'm not going to. I'm so tired. I know if I went, I would be glad, but I just can't bring myself to do it. The last month has been so exhausting, physically, emotionally.
And I think I like leaving it where it is - a performance I could be proud of. It was emotional and satisfying and I feel like I had a breakthrough in the performance, emotionally. I wasn't afraid of what anyone would think if I just put my soul into the characters.
So, is this because I'm older and just don't need to do that kind of crazy thing - seeing the show 3-4 times in a week or is it just bad timing and I will regret it later? I think it is bad timing, but I don't think I will regret not going. I'm trying to let go of regrets. "Forget regret or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today."