Today, I felt like everything fell on my head at once. The last three days, the phone has been ringing off the hook, urgent IMs, meetings, packing, moving, rehearsals, schedules, hurry, hurry, don't worry, ARRGGH. My nerves are jangling - it feels like every nerve is standing up on end catching every minute breath and every vibration from the world and transmitting it through my body. My esphogus has been spasming, my sleep is interrupted by dreams about moving boxes, trouble paying attention to or completing anything. Not good.
So, I left work early yesterday (I will be working this weekend, so I don't feel bad). On the way home, I decided to go see a movie. It took me so long to get from Vancouver to Portland that it was 5:30pm by the time I got to the movie theatre. I decided to see the next acceptable movie (Drag Me to Hell - not acceptable), so I bought my ticket to see "Up - in 3D". First of all, 3-d ads? NO. A little to intense for me.
"UP" is NOT a children's movie. In the first 20 minutes, they get you attached to a couple of characters, only to kill one off and show the other one sitting alone at the funeral. I was bawling so hard, I almost had to leave. I was trying to be quiet but it made me SOB. Now, I would say that 30-50% of that was stress and cathartic crying, but for Heaven's sake!! I bawled! Then you watch the movie, sweet, but a little slow, with a pinch of adult themes (abandonment, divorce, death, losing your house, losing your spouse, losing your dreams). Then just when you think you are safe to go back into the water, they hit you again with the idea of growing old and losing the people and things you love and giving in to that or making the choice not to give in...I was BAWLING again. Really bawling - almost making noise. AGAIN. Thank god I bought popcorn so I had some napkins so I could wipe my nose.
Afterwards, I did feel better, but I felt cheated of a joyful experience. I was looking for joy or fun or laughs and I got a little bit of that, but mostly, I got cathartic crying and I just wasn't prepared for it.