Day Four: I Am Producing Myself

"Maturity includes the recognition that no one is going to see anything in us that we don't see in ourselves. Stop waiting for a producer. Produce yourself." ~Marianne Williamson

Wow. I'm so amazed at the metamorphasis of this project in just 4 days. Today, during my lunch I asked myself the question: Am I becoming a person I respect?  What are my successes?  Where do I still need work?

I find it fascinating the bundle of contradictions that we are as humans - so many of us can relate to the angel/devil on our shoulder.  Sometimes I just have to be conscious of which one gets my attention.  Intentionality is key - listen to the angel.

In a complete turnaround from the last couple of days when the demons took over my thoughts, today, I celebrated the fact that I am willing to change, that I am seeking refinement, improvement, perfection in the good sense (that things happen for a reason, that we can learn from all events and can create opportunities even from the worst of circumstances, that we are perfect as we are).  

I believe in abundance - of thought, of work (coming from a freelance interpreting context, abundance of work is GOOD), goodness, good things, happy outcomes.  I also believe that as long as I am continuing to learn, continuing to explore the parts of myself that need some attention, continuing to engage in conversation about self, about growth, about change, I am walking the right path.  

Some thoughts I found on my lunch-time path today:

• I like that when I have a problem, I look it up and try to find books about the topic.  I am a seeker of knowledge.
• I like that I am willing to be vulnerable with people - by doing this challenge, by showing up in the world in my truest form.  Some days, I want to reach for the armor, but I try to breathe through it.  If I manage to get the helmet on, I try to take it off as soon as I can. 
• I like that I am learning to just accept my foibles (see I Am a Dork, In a Good Way).
• I like that I see qualities in others that I want to emulate and try to learn.
• I like that I see qualities in others that I DON'T want to emulate and I immediately engage in an analysis to find out if I have some work to do in that area.
• I like that when I was thinking about this challenge, I had so many ideas.  I think most of them all revolve around this one, though.  Becoming a person I respect and recognizing those qualities that are already there.  

Life is good.