"The essence of pleasure is spontaneity."~Germaine GreerI have never heard this quote before, but I read it on my "Quote a Day" on the sidebar of my blog and I decided it was what I wanted to talk about today. When I read it, a spark struck for me - I had a conversation about spontaneity and fun recently.
I am experiencing all these "cliches" about aging that I never expected to experience - things like being an adult and missing the fun I had as a young person, the generation gap, facing mortality, etc. As a young woman, I faced mortality regularly because of Roby's situation. I embraced a level of "letting go" because I knew that we had such a limited time together - I had to step out of my comfort zone in order to fully experience our life together. Spontaneity was not natural to me - I had to build it up to keep up with him. Eventually, though, I became the more spontaneous of the two. I miss that.
We used to just drive off to the beach without a thought - now I think, what are the roads like? I have to work tomorrow. What if we can't get a hotel? How much will it cost? I don't feel like driving...blah blah blah. We used to go to the movies ANYTIME or plan some crazy trip or just drive around. Now, everything requires planning - when are you free? Oh, I have to get up early the next morning, I have a show, I have rehearsal/work/sleep blah blah blah.
One of my fondest memories was a beach trip to Pacific City with some friends. We just decided to go at the last minute. We brought some alcohol (ok, a lot), some coloring books and went to stay at a friend's cabin. We drank and colored for like 5 hours the first night and it was a BLAST. We wandered the beach at midnight and even went into the water. The coloring was so cathartic and the drinking was too. I don't drink anymore, so I'm not missing that - just the idea that suddenly, I could go and have a good time.
Now, as I look at my calendar, I see meetings, rehearsals, responsibilities and commitments instead of possibilities for joy and pleasure.
I'm gonna look for a little spontaneity in the next couple of weeks. I think it could do me some good.