I just now had an epiphany of sorts, so, of course, I hurried here to tell myself all about it. :)
As many of you may know, I have been engaged in a love affair with 37Days this year. When Patti Digh's book, Life is a Verb: 37 Days to Wake Up, Be Mindful and Live Intentionally came out, I set about buying copies for all the important people in my life and giving them out for Christmas, Birthdays, and Just Because. I gave a copy away in my Blogaversary giveaway (which I finally sent!! I'm sorry it took so long!) This week, I gave a copy to a woman I admire but barely know in physical, chronological time. It felt risky but I knew it was the right thing to do.
Today, I was catching up with Patti's blog and I finally watched the video about marginalia and I realized I am afraid of writing in books. I NEVER write in books. Sometimes, I have a hard time writing in a pretty journal! That's CRAZY! I watched the video interview with a woman from Saluda, North Carolina, who had beautiful and bold marginalia in her copy of LIAV. I felt a longing for that freedom and I went back and reread the blog entry.
I have given this book to people that I love and yet, I have not loved myself enough to soak this book in for myself the way I imagine my friends soaking it in. This gift is a gift of love and I must accept that gift for myself, as well.
Starting today, I am committed to allowing myself to fully and completely and messily enjoy Life is a Verb. The worst thing that could happen is that I freak out about a written-in, well-loved book and run out to buy a pristine copy...just means I will have another copy to give away!
Why are these lessons so hard to come by? I'm happy, at least, that they come. I know lessons come when we are ready for them. I stand at the ready.