I have had my head down and my nose to the grindstone for so long now and suddenly, I feel like I don't want to just be about work anymore. Well, not like that's the choice I wanted to make. It was the hand I was dealt and I knew I could work it out if I paid attention.
Now, in the last couple of months, I feel like I'm walking out of this funk that I've been in for god knows how long. I feel like I'm more than just a manager or a worker or the person who will get the job done. Maybe this is what people mean when they talk about really coming into their own in their 40s. I just know who I am and what I can do and mostly, what I'm willing to do.
I want to do a lot of stuff right now that has nothing to do with work. In some ways, I almost feel guilty about it. I have spent so much time cultivating my career and my place in my work environment, and now, I have to live up to the standard that I set for myself. It ain't easy, that's for sure. I set the bar pretty high for myself. Not intentionally, but that's the result, anyway.
I guess that is what is bumping around in my head tonight as I get ready to head on home.
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