Days Off, Brain Off

One performance down - one more to go. I have the next 4 days off (I will rehearse some for the next performance, but tomorrow and Monday - OFF!!)  I'm going to do art and watch some movies and REST.

Also, my mom is out of the hospital and seems to be doing better. The doctors are doing some aggressive follow-up care which makes me happy.  Thanks for all your kind thoughts, kind words and positive energy.  I really appreciate it.

This weekend's project

Jean, Meet Wall

Stress is not my friend these days. I used to be able to handle it better - now, I just feel like I am being hit by a truck over and over again.

I went to the show tonight after reassuring myself that my mother didn't need anything more from me. It helped relieve some anxiety about the show as the CD and the script are DIFFERENT and the songs are cut up, rearranged and one has even been replaced with an entirely new song.

Mother update: They are keeping her in the hospital to ensure that the antibiotics are working the way they should. Will probably be in a couple more days. At least they are taking good care of her - many times, people get thrown out way before they are better.

Life Happens Sometimes

My mother is in the hospital tonight. The doctor wanted her to have IV antibiotics for some serious infection. Good thoughts are welcome.

Funniest. Story. Ever.

I happened upon this blog a while ago - I don't really remember how.  Today, I read this post which is, as the title of MY blog post suggests, one of the funniest stories ever.  You need to have a sense of humor, the ability to embrace the absurd and an appreciation for well-used swearing to appreciate this post. If you have all that, click  here.

My Kingdom for a Cart

Okay, so, imagine carrying two plastic shopping baskets full of books around a crowded and warm store for five hours. FULL OF BOOKS.  Books are heavy. There's no two ways about it.  Toting them around, setting them down so that you can grab something off the shelf, working your way through the aisles full of jostling, cell-phone-using, gossiping, reading, sitting, standing in clumps people in the heat of the day is not that fun.

A few years ago, Powell's Bookstore invested in some shopping carts that look something like this:

The website says to "enquire" about the product and does not list a price. They can't be THAT expensive, can they? Unless, of course, you have to buy in quantity and pay for the shipping from China. Ha!

This cart has saved my life on more than one occasion.  The first year they had them, there were a bunch and both Kevin and I grabbed one and made short work of the whole endeavor as we didn't have to stop every few minutes to return our arms into the sockets.  The next year, there were only a few, but we still got them. Last year, I got one and Kevin (poor thing) did not. I think Kevin asked about them and the employee said there were only 4 left.

This year, as I was shopping, I spotted one in the early part of BookFest, but I wasn't willing to do more than lurk for a few minutes before giving up the ghost. A couple of hours later, I went back to the location where I have the most luck finding a cart (yeah, I know you thought I was going to tell you where to go, but I'm not) and finally found a cart. It was such a relief to put those baskets in the cart and not have to deal with hands that are sore from holding the hard plastic handles and arms that are sore from carrying what feels like 50+ pounds of books around for several hours.

Once I was pretty close, I realized that I could sit in the coffee room and survey my  book-bounty and Kevin could take the cart around and look at stuff. I think sharing was definitely the way to go. If we find ourselves in a similar situation next year, at least I will know what to do. :)

The beauty of this 17-year tradition is that it is so much fun. We both have these little rituals and traditions that we honor and games we play. We have a certain order we do things in, we have different phases of the day. Today, we laughed so much we both got hoarse by the end of the evening.

All in all, a really spectacular day. The only thing we need to do now is buy carts to hold on standby for next year. :)

Busy-ness Ahead

I have been working late most evenings this week - either at work or at rehearsal. I haven't been able to do much work in my art journal, which is disappointing, but understandable. I went to the show so I got home late tonight, too, and I left my camera in my car, so I don't even have pictures to post of the work I DID do. :)  It's all good.

Tomorrow is BOOKFEST! Yahoo! I'm so excited this year!  Then I'm going to see the show again on Sunday (I think...there was so much dialogue - I feel like I need to hear it at least one more time before the first performance) and rehearsal that evening.

Most excitingly, I am taking next Friday off for a nice, long weekend! I can't wait! Anyway, I'm off to bed.

I Heart BookFest part II

I'm gearing up for BookFest on Saturday!   I can't wait for our annual book buying extravaganza.

Kevin and I had a conversation about how long we have been doing this. I may get this wrong, but as I recall, last year was year 16.  (In 2008, I had put the wrong year when I was writing about it).  I'm pretty sure that the first actual BookFest was in September of 1995 - I remember because I was starting WOU and I realized it was going to be a long time before I could read books for pleasure.  If that is right, then we are coming up on Year 17!

Whether I'm right or wrong, I still think it is amazing that we have still have the fun tradition annually. It's my favorite holiday of the year.

As usual, I don't really have a plan in mind. I have a few books I'm interested in, but I never walk away with what I expected to.  I know I have some old standby things that I look at, but I definitely think I will have some surprises in my pile of goodies.  Perhaps I will post photos this year!

Wednesday Blues

I still don't understand why Wednesdays are the worst day of the week for me...It must be that "hump" day thing or something. It is irritating.

Been celebrating the 2 year anniversary of the big work move this week. Trying to have some fun with it.

"Mary Poppins" is next week - we see it on Friday. It will be interesting to see the show and how different/similar it is to the movie. The music seems a bit darker and they changed some of the lyrics and added some songs. I'll be glad when I've seen it - it always helps me when I have some kind of visual reference.

#Trust30 Day 17: Invent the Future

Invent the Future by Cindy Gallop

A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

My favorite quote of all time is Alan Kay: ‘In order to predict the future, you have to invent it.’ I am all about inventing the future. Decide what you want the future to be and make it happen. Because you can. Write about your future now.

(Author: Cindy Gallop)

My future...it seems so strange to think about that. I spent so many years not really thinking about "the future" because it involved things I didn't want to consider. After ten years, that habit is firmly embedded in me. Now, all these years later (26 years...), it is a hard habit to break.

What I do know - My future will have art and theatre, family, friends, music and books. I hope to continue to do BookFest with Kevin and enjoy taking classes, doing art journaling and maybe even relaxing more than I do now. :)

Goals for the future:  write a book, finish my degree, work on improving my interpreting again (I don't want to be rusty but sometimes I feel rusty).

That's about all I can muster for now.

Working on a New Journal

I'm working on a new journal for my class from Kelly Kilmer. I got a little stuck though, so I decided to take a couple of days off.  Working on "Mary Poppins" right now, so time is precious.

First day of summer is tomorrow. I hope it doesn't get or stay too hot. Nice weather, I'm all for it, but HOT - no thanks!

Fonts and Layouts and Templates, Oh My!

I read an article today about Fonts and which fonts are good to use (in general) and which are bad.  I'm pretty sure that the new font I'm using on the blog would end up on the "BAD" list...for some reason, though, I have been craving a font that looks different...I may have to keep experimenting - I don't want it to be hard to read, I just want it to have some personality. It's kind of like driving a yellow car or liking screaming Pink - you can't just have the regular thing. It needs to be amped up a notch. If you find this font too hard to read or annoying, please let me know. I will probably go back to something more normal soon - I just needed a change...

#Trust 30 Day 20: Speak Less

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. Sign up below to receive the prompts by email. If you like this pledge, check out reverb10, it's inspiring. 

Speak Less by Laura Kimball

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know I. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I once received a fortune cookie that read: “Speak less of your plans, you’ll get more done.” What’s one project that you’ve been sitting on and thinking about but haven’t made progress on? What’s stopping you? What would happen if you actually went for it and did it?

(Author: Laura Kimball)

This project really is something that I am interested in, but I just can't bring myself to go here online.  I know that I have shared lots and lots of personal things here, but I feel so strongly that I can't answer these questions in a format like this. I read the questions daily and I think about what I might want to say, but I don't want to say it here.  Feeling a little frustrated, but it is my own barrier that is holding me back. Sigh.

New Look?

Of course I am doing that Saturday, "I want to change the look of my blog" search. I found a place where there were some cool templates, but I can't seem to get it to work, even though I am following the instructions EXACTLY.  So, keep your eyes pealed - there may be some more color and fun on the blog soon. I'm working on it.

#Trust30 - Evaluating

I have decided that I will continue with #Trust30, but I may not answer every question - some of them seem amazingly similar and there are also certain things I prefer not to discuss here on my blog.  I will complete the challenge because I don't like to start these things without completing them, but I have been feeling frustrated as the questions haven't necessarily sparked my creativity or true introspection on most of the days.

Glad it is Friday as I worked my behind off this week.  I'm looking forward to sleeping in and working on my art journal. I have to work on "Mary Poppins" this weekend, too, but I'm still looking forward to some TIME OFF!

Bees, Pens and Art Journaling

This is before adding some penwork or journaling.

Last page of journal - pre penwork.

This is the most pen work I have added to any of the pages so far. Still working on finding unique and interesting ways to embellish. 

#Trust30 Day 16: Wholly Strange and New

Wholly Strange and New by Bridget Pilloud

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Can you remember a moment in your life when you had life in yourself and it was wholly strange and new? Can you remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?


Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future.


(Author: Bridget Pilloud)

I remember a day, about a month after Roby died. It was February and the sun was shining - it was one of those teaser days where the weather turns spring-like and we all take off our coats for a week and then it goes back to being all gray and gloomy and winter-like.  I went out to lunch with a friend in NW Portland - I think we went to Santa Fe. Roby and I had eaten there together a million times and at Maya's (the sister restaurant downtown).  It was a Roby place.

My friend and I both worked in K-12, so I'm thinking we probably met on President's Day or something like that...maybe MLK day.  I remember sitting at the table talking to John about how things were going and I smiled - the first genuine, non-tortured smile, the first smile I didn't feel all my grief rushing up through me. He noticed and asked me about it. It was that moment - a brief lunch with a friend - when I realized that it would all be okay. It wouldn't be easy, but my life wasn't over.  We started talking about walking the path alone - that afternoon, I started to realize that I didn't really know myself anymore - incremental changes had really obscured my own preferences. When Roby started getting sick - actually showing some symptoms - everything tasted too salty to him, so we changed where we ate when we went out. He liked horror movies, so we saw those. I knew our time was limited together, so I accommodated. I didn't mind, but after years of that, I realized I didn't recognize myself.

Sometimes I still don't, but after all these years (it will be 16 years this January), I'm mostly settled into myself and who I am.

Even so, there are things to discover that are wholly strange and new. That's what keeps ups coming back for more, right?

#Trust30 Day 15: One Thing

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. Sign up below to receive the prompts by email. If you like this pledge, check out reverb10, it's inspiring. 

One Thing by Colin Wright

Do your work, and I shall know you. Do your work, and you shall reinforce yourself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson


Take a moment, step back from your concerns, and focus on one thing: You have one life to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted. Sounds simple, but when you really focus on it, let it seep into your consciousness, you realize you only have about 100 years to get every single thing you’ve ever wanted to do. No second chances. This is your only shot. Suddenly, this means you should have started yesterday. No more waiting for permission or resources to start. Today is the day you make the rest of your life happen. Write down one thing you’ve always wanted to do and how you will achieve that goal. Don’t be afraid to be very specific in how you’ll achieve it: once you start achieving, your goals will get bigger and your capability to meet them will grow.


(Author: Colin Wright)

I have to start reading these prompts in the morning so that I will have time to think about my answers and try to answer them seriously.

Right now, I have two goals that I have long wanted to accomplish - to write a book and to finish my degree.  I don't know how/where/when to start writing my book and I don't even have a twinkle of an idea right now, so I will start with the less "sexy" goal of finishing my degree.

The first thing I need to do is get my transcripts looked at and then I need to determine how I want to do it. I used to think online would be the best way, but I spend so much time online, now I think maybe it would be better to actually spend some time in class with live bodies.  I should take a class a term...but first, I need to get my transcripts looked at.

That's all I have in me tonight. Perhaps I will revisit this tomorrow.

#Trust30 Day 14: Alternative Paths

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey.  If you like this pledge, check out reverb10, it's inspiring. 

Alternative Paths by Jonathan Fields

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name; the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


The world buzzes about goals and visions. Focus. Create a vivid picture of exactly where you want to go. Dream big, then don’t let anything or anyone stop you. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert wrote in Stumbling Upon Happiness, is that we’re horrible at forecasting how we’ll really feel 10 or 20 years from now – once we’ve gotten what we dreamed of. Often, we get there only to say, “That’s not what I thought it would be,” and ask, “What now?” Ambition is good. Blind ambition is not. It blocks out not only distraction, but the many opportunities that might take you off course but that may also lead you in a new direction. Consistent daily action is only a virtue when bundled with a willingness to remain open to the unknown. In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, “What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?” They’re always there, but you’ve got to choose to see them.


(Author: Jonathan Fields)

Right now, I am working on enjoying life a little. I worked so hard and so long.  Now, my alternative paths involve art, enjoyment, some fun. Some "me" time.  Maybe there are some alternative ways to pursue these things. I will have to choose to find them.

#Trust30 Day 13: Surprise

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. Sign up below to receive the prompts by email. If you like this pledge, check out reverb10, it's inspiring. 

Surprise by Ashley Ambirge

I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson


Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself. How will you surprise yourself this week?


(Author: Ashley Ambirge)

How will I surprise myself this week, huh? I'm not sure. I haven't really done anything that surprising in a long time. I think that part of the reason that is true is because I worry about EVERYTHING, so I realized a long time ago that just because I worry about it or think I can't do it doesn't mean that what I think about is TRUE. Mostly, my brain thinks about all the "other outcomes" but generally, I have positive ones.  I think that experience takes the surprise out of things because I know myself well enough to know that I will doubt myself or worry or come up with "worst case scenarios" but they don't usually come true and I'm not so surprised by that anymore.