Reverb 10 - Day 31: CORE STORY

December 31 – Core Story

What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) (Author: Molly O’Neill)

Right now, at this time in my life, I share my story here on WildRumpusing. There are lots of things I can't/won't/don't say here, but if you read this blog for long, I'm pretty sure you get a sense of who I am and what I care about.

The core story of me right now is that I am settling into the person I am, discovering things I want to do, see, change, accept.

I am a writer.
I am an artist.
I am creative.
I am strong.
I am sensitive.
I am vulnerable.
I am capable.
I am lonely.
I am happy.
I am frightened.
I am brave.
I am smart.
I am learning.
I am a teacher.
I am a student.
I am Jean.

2010 taught me many lessons through a difficult lens. 2011 will certainly have its share of that, but I am looking towards learning through a joyous lens. You can learn through joy or through pain. I am choosing joy.

{Future tool: Susannah Conway’s Allowing Dreams} Today is the final day of #reverb10. Thank you for your reverberations this month. Keep an eye on your inbox at the end of January 2011 for something from HQ.}

Gratitude for Good Friends

Last night, we interpreted the touring production of "HAIR". I'm sure I could say many things about interpreting a show like this.  It is so challenging to do shows that are so multi-layered, that have so many culturally iconic songs, that have so many popular culture references, that reference drugs and drug use in ways that I don't have ANY experience with and don't feel confident portraying in American Sign Language.

At the end of the show, the audience members are invited up onto the stage to dance and many of them take advantage of the opportunity. Ushers came to stand behind us - to protect us and to protect audience members from falling off the stage and stairs. One guy, in a particular hurry to get off the stage (why did you go up in the first place?), moved over to the side near the speaker, took a giant leap and landed squarely on my back before diving into the moving throngs of people with barely a backwards glance.  Aside from scare the CRAP out of me, having someone jump, full weight, on your back while you are holding your hands in the air interpreting for the last 2+ hours creates some issues. Back spasms are one issue right this moment while I am typing. SIGH.

So after all that, I opened up my facebook to find this email sent to me after the show:

"I just wanted to drop you a note to tell you that you are amazing. I watched you all night at Hair. You doing your thing was the highlight to my night. I could watch you all day. Seriously, at one point, you brought tears to my eyes with your amazing skills. Thank you for being so good."

I could just cry.

I sent the person a note thanking them for taking the time. It felt like the yang to the yin of getting physically attacked.

Mercury has been in retrograde and yesterday was supposedly the last day. Thank God.

Reverb 10 - Day 30: GIFT

December 30 – Gift

Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?(Author: Holly Root)

I'm going to take the cop-out road and list a few things. I know I will forget something, but it isn't intentional. A year is a long time to look back on and remember to include everything.
Gifts in 2010:
improving health
stronger job situation
a supportive and encouraging boss
great colleagues
the opportunity to travel for business and pleasure
good friends
trust in my leadership
improving family relationships
finding the art journaling community
books
the opportunity to meet someone I admire greatly (see Writing Retreat posts in November)


{Future tools: Lifehacker’s Free Tools to Manage New Years Resolutions and Gretchen Rubin’s Questions to Help You Make Effective New Year’s Resolutions.

Has #reverb10 made an impact on your writing, reflecting and life this month? Consider supporting the HQ team with a donation.}

Reverb 10 - Day 29: DEFINING MOMENT

December 29 – Defining Moment

Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.(Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)

On a rainy day in February 2010, as I was driving to a doctor's appointment and then as I was parked in the parking lot, I was called to a conference call for work. The FCC had made a ruling that directly impacted the company I work for and we were not sure we would be in business by the end of the following week.

I went into my medical appointment and my blood pressure was so high, they almost hospitalized me that day.  They literally took my blood pressure within 10 minutes of me getting this frightening, disturbing news. I know I was in shock. I made them take my blood pressure again after a few minutes. They did an EKG and referred me to a cardiologist the Monday after to be sure everything was okay.

Not only was I scared to death about that, but then possibly finding that I would be without health insurance within a matter of days. Scary stuff.

Lots of challenges, lots of scary days, lots of wishing I had never gotten involved in my industry, lots of days knowing that I was in the right place at the right time and that I could lead my team through the days and months ahead, nights when I couldn't sleep for worrying, days when it was all I could do to get up in the morning. Days I thought about bailing.

I am feeling much better - physically, mentally, spiritually. The job is strong, the company is strong, the people are strong. I am good. I am glad I stayed.

{Future tool: The 99%’s How to Budget for an Irregular Income. For the next 3 days as you round out your year, we’ll share one tool each day to help you plan your year ahead.}

Dad, Four Years Gone

Unbelievably, my father passed away 4 years ago. I still miss him. I watched the "Kennedy Center Honors" and when they showed Merle Haggard, I was reminded of him. He loved country music and for some reason, seeing older gentlemen always reminds me of my dad. It brought tears to my eyes.

I miss you, Dad.

These pictures were his fuzzy face period - little bit scruffy, but happy after a good fishing day.

Reverb 10 - Day 28: ACHIEVE

December 28 – Achieve

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. (Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

I most want to achieve BALANCE in 2011. If I achieved balance, I would feel centered, I would feel all the things I need to feel when I feel them instead of having things get stuffed down and then pop up when I least expect it.

To experience that feeling today, I just have to do all the things I have been exploring this year and in this Reverb10 project.  Take baby steps, look at what I can eliminate, what I can add, how I am beautifully different, remember what is really important. I need to practice mindfulness, gratitude, art. I need to surround myself with people who support me in finding balance and avoid people who wish to tip the scales one way or the other.

For me, it isn't a discovery that I need balance. It isn't news - it is me deepening my self-investigation, digging further into the pieces of myself that I have glimpsed but maybe don't understand or haven't see in full, glorious, brilliant color. I need to dust some of me off, I need to dig some things out and I'm sure there are pieces that I haven't even discovered yet. That's kind of exciting.

{Future tool: Gretchen Rubin’s Start Your Own Happiness Project (and be sure to visit the Happiness Project Toolbox!). For the next 4 days as you round out your year, we’ll share one tool each day to help you plan your year ahead.}

Rethinking my 2011 Word and More Ordinary Joy

I'm wondering if Ordinary Joy is going to be my phrase for 2011...it is resonating with me...I'm seeing it, feeling it all around me. Earlier in the day, I had a hard time thinking of a list...now I am seeing all kinds of things, feeling them. Tears, chills, love bursting from my heart for a song, for a person I've never met...  all of this constitutes joy, doesn't it? I think so...

On the Kennedy Center Honors tonight, Oprah Winfrey was honored. I was moved to see her story, to see pictures of her grandmother, to see her beginnings as Miss Fire Prevention, to hear the funny stories, to see Sidney Poitier getting older (as we all do). Then, Jennifer Hudson came on and sang "I'm Here" from Oprah's musical "The Color Purple".  Not only is the performance stunning, as Jennifer Hudson always is, but the lyrics moved me to tears. A world view, a knowing that is deep and truthful and yearning for believers. I believe.


Lyrics: (they print musical lyrics in all caps in the scripts...)
I DON'T NEED YOU TO LOVE ME,
I DON'T NEED YOU TO LOVE.
I GOT . . .
I GOT . . .
I GOT MY SISTER.
I CAN FEEL HER NOW,
SHE MAY NOT BE HERE, BUT SHE STILL MINE.
I KNOW SHE STILL LOVE ME.
GOT MY CHILDREN.
I CAN'T HOLD THEM NOW,
THEY MAY NOT BE HERE, BUT THEY STILL MINE.
I HOPE THEY KNOW I STILL LOVE THEM.
GOT MY HOUSE.
IT STILL KEEP THE COLD OUT.
GOT MY CHAIR
WHEN MY BODY CAN'T HOLD OUT.
GOT MY HANDS
DOIN' GOOD LIKE THEY S'POSE TO,
SHOWIN' MY HEART
TO THE FOLKS THAT I'M CLOSE TO.
GOT MY EYES.
THOUGH THEY DON'T SEE AS FAR NOW,
THEY SEE MORE 'BOUT HOW THINGS
REALLY ARE NOW . . .
I'M GONNA TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
GONNA HOLD MY HEAD UP.
GONNA PUT MY SHOULDERS BACK,
AND LOOK YOU STRAIGHT IN THE EYE.
I'M GONNA FLIRT WITH SOMEBODY
WHEN THEY WALK BY.
I'M GONNA SING OUT . . .
SING OUT.
I BELIEVE I HAVE INSIDE OF ME
EVERYTHING THAT I NEED TO LIVE A BOUNTIFUL LIFE.
WITH ALL THE LOVE ALIVE IN ME
I'LL STAND AS TALL AS THE TALLEST TREE.
AND I'M
THANKFUL FOR EVERYDAY THAT I'M GIVEN,
BOTH THE EASY AND HARD ONES I'M LIVIN'.
BUT MOST OF ALL
I'M THANKFUL FOR
LOVING WHO I REALLY AM.
I'M BEAUTIFUL.
YES, I'M BEAUTIFUL,
AND I'M HERE.

[Source of information - www.angelrecords.com/colorpurple/lyrics.pdf]

Oversight Correction for ORDINARY JOY (Day 27)

How could I forget the annual joy of BOOKFEST with Kevin?!?

But the biggest joy I get from that particular day is when we go back to his house and unveil our books and tell our stories about how we came to buy the books we bought. I love to see how diverse our collections are and how different our choices are from the other.  Then a year, two years, three years later, one of us will buy a book from the other person's past selections.

Ordinary joy in extraordinary days. I can't believe I forgot that!

Reverb 10 - Day 27: ORDINARY JOY

December 27 – Ordinary Joy

Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?  (Author: Brené Brown)

For me a couple of things come to mind in terms of profound joy in ordinary moments:

• Watching the "Les Miserables" 25 Year Anniversary Concert
• Collaging 
• Sitting on the deck at the beach listening to the waves, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face and watching for whales
• Talking with M.
• Conversations with Todd
• Dinner party with the old gang 
• Seeing "The Lion King" and "In the Heights" (I didn't think I would like it) 
• Listening to music and playing solitaire on the computer ("Conviction of the Heart" and "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen" come to mind) 

If I had to pick ONE, I would pick watching "Les Miserables" on the big screen. I know I keep writing about it, but I think I had some profound moments that evening. It was just such a strong reminder of Roby, of my love of theatre, my passion for the music, that we are all here to love each other and to see the humanity in each other and that's all there really is in life.  I can almost bring that feeling back when I close my eyes and remember watching it - heart racing, on the edge of my seat, tears streaming.

Admittedly, I am a little sad that my most precious memory of joy in an ordinary moment is not with another human being. It has not been a year of human contact for me really. There have been notable moments, but really, 2010 was a year about standing on my own two feet and learning to be comfortable in my shoes. I'm not part of a pair, I'm not overshadowed by another stronger person, I'm not hanging out with someone that everyone wonders "What does she see in THEM?". It was mostly just me and my decisions. Me and my foibles. Me and my successes. Me and me. That's all.  It is a lonely place, but I think, ultimately, a necessary one.

{Future tool: Tara Mohr’s The Next Steps After Vision… For the next 5 days as you round out your year, we’ll share one tool each day to help you plan your year ahead.
For a visual journey into reflecting + manifesting, check the Flickr images tagged with #reverb10.}

It's all Greek to Me

I don't understand Twitter. I am participating in Reverb 10 (you may have noticed if you have visited here this month) and they say to tweet them gently to have them put your blog out there, but I'm not really sure how it all works.

So, I got my tiny url:  http://tinyurl.com/27c9p3t and I tweeted it to Reverb, but I don't really understand any of it. I know I could figure it out if I wanted to spend any time on it, but I decided that I don't want to spend the time right now to learn about Twitter. I think it is kind of cool for some things, but I can see how it might be another way of wasting time online and I am already in the Master Class of online procratination, so I think that is probably my resistance to the whole thing.

Anyway, it was weighing on me, so I thought I would share.

Reverb 10 - Day 26: SOUL FOOD

December 26 – Soul Food

What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

Food is a difficult subject most of the time. Having been called "picky" and any number of other names in my life in regard to food, I have learned to just keep my mouth shut (in more ways than one).  Trying food is not usually fun for me as there are always expectations surrounding such an event.  People are either wanting you to like something so much that you don't want to disappoint them or they are feverish with the excitement of being able to watch you try something you don't like and then can discuss it with you ad nauseum.

This year, I had some food revelations. It was very exciting. I wouldn't say the foods touched my soul - no food can really do that for me...

Green beans almondine
Artichoke heart soup
risotto 

Some of my fondest moments with food are eating Thai food with my friends in Sacramento, eating Indian fare with friends here in Portland. I had a love affair with plums this summer and fresh strawberries in June.  Then the nectarines and the apples. Always, my lovely lemons. Now, I am on to oranges. Salads with lemon as dressing.  Fresh foods are my passion right now. It's the best a non-foodie can do.  

(Author: Elise Marie Collins)

{Future tool: Sark’s MicroMOVEment Support Sheets. For the next 6 days as you round out your year, we’ll share one tool each day to help you plan your year ahead.}

Reverb 10 - Day 25: PHOTO - A PRESENT TO YOURSELF

December 25 – Photo – a present to yourself

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.  (Author: Tracey Clark)

There aren't many photos of me from this year - most of them are of my feet while I was on vacation. While it was tempting to select one of those photos, I avoided the impulse and chose this one:

This photo was taken by a work colleague while we were at a summit in Las Vegas. I like this picture because I was authentically smiling, my hair is down and long and curly. I wasn't feeling well at the time, but I was thoroughly enjoying the company of my colleagues. We don't often get together in person, so it was a rare opportunity to rub elbows with some folks I admire greatly.

I'm not sure the photo represents the "real me", but I think it is a glimmer of what I would like to see in the future.  I want to keep smiling, keep laughing, keep enjoying the company of good friends. I want to let my hair down more often to have a good time. I think that is most what this represents to me - relaxing, enjoying, believing in goodness and possibility.

{Future tool: Soul Biographies: Thoughts Become Things. For the next 7 days as you round out your year, we’ll share one tool each day to help you plan your year ahead.}

Reverb 10 - Day 24: EVERYTHING'S OK

December 24 Prompt – Everything’s OK
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?   
(Author: Kate Inglis)

Sitting in the darkened movie theater in an audience filled with passionate, loyal, adoring patrons, watching the O2 25th Anniversary Concert of "Les Miserables", I had that familiar sensation - the one that makes my heart pound and I sit towards the end of my seat and the tears well up.  The first song that really struck me was "What Have I Done?" at the beginning of the show.  The song is sung by the Jean Valjean (played by Alfie Boe in the O2 Concert). In addition to the beautiful singing voice of the performer, the lyrics of the song moved me to tears.

[VALJEAN]
What have I done?
Sweet Jesus, what have I done?
Become a thief in the night,
Become a dog on the run
And have I fallen so far,
And is the hour so late
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,
The cries in the dark that nobody hears,
Here where I stand at the turning of the years?

If there's another way to go
I missed it twenty long years ago
My life was a war that could never be won
They gave me a number and murdered Valjean
When they chained me and left me for dead
Just for stealing a mouthful of bread

Yet why did I allow that man
To touch my soul and teach me love?
He treated me like any other
He gave me his trust
He called me brother
My life he claims for God above
Can such things be?
For I had come to hate the world
This world that always hated me
 
Take an eye for an eye!
Turn your heart into stone!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!

One word from him and I'd be back
Beneath the lash, upon the rack
Instead he offers me my freedom
I feel my shame inside me like a knife
He told me that I have a soul,
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?

I am reaching, but I fall
And the night is closing in
And I stare into the void
To the whirlpool of my sin
I'll escape now from the world
From the world of Jean Valjean
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Another story must begin!

That night, in the dark, after 25 years of listening to this music, hearing Jean Valjean decide to change his life, change himself, gave me the sense of well-being that comes with knowing everything will be okay.  "Yet why did I allow that man to touch my soul and teach me love? He treated me like any other. He gave me his trust, he called me brother. My life he claims for God above, can such things be?...he told me that I have a soul. How does he know?" It was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the moment I needed to hear it.

This is Colm Wilkinson performing from the 10 Year Anniversary Concert.




 There were many moments that night that gave me a sense that I was on the right path, that things would work out. Ultimately, I always go back to the line near the end of the show, "To love another person is to see the face of God."  That is what we are here to do - love each other. See the godliness in everyone. All the rest is just a distraction to see if we know what we are supposed to do.

{Future tool: Gwen Bell – How to Create Your Personal Manifesto. For the next 8 days as you round out your year, we’ll share one tool each day to help you plan your year ahead.}

Reverb 10 - Day 23: NEW NAME

December 23 – New Name Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why? (Author: Becca Wilcott)

{Future tool: Chris Guillebeau’s How to Conduct Your Own Annual Review. For the next 9 days as you round out your year, we’ll share one tool each day to help you plan your year ahead.} 

I used to think about pseudonyms when I dreamed of becoming a famous writer.  I wrote notes to my best friend in high school under the name Melanie (from "Gone with the Wind") and several other nicknames.  Roby and I talked about Spencer and Emily Eden as alternative identities.

When all is said and done, though, I would not change my name right now - even for a day. There are many things I might want to change about myself, but I am Jean. That is who I am and how I identify. I would not change that part of myself for the world. 

Reverb 10 - Day 22: TRAVEL

December 22 – Travel
How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
(Author: Tara Hunt)

I traveled quickly in 2010 - lots of last minute trips. I went to the beach, to Las Vegas, to Sacramento, to Chicago.  I wanted to go to London for the 25 year "Les Miserables" anniversary, but I think I chickened out. I wanted to go to New York to see a friend, but timing was poor.

For 2011, I hope to get to New York, to Sacramento to see my friends. I want to go to the beach for a week or so, maybe to Dave Walley's again? I think I might want to go on a road trip. Not too far, but maybe somewhere I've never been. Stay in a nice hotel and do some photography experimentation.  I'd like to go visit Teesha Moore's art studio in Seattle - maybe a train trip up. I think I might want to go to JournalFest next year, but I'm not sure. Maybe I won't be ready. If I'm not, that's okay, but someday, I will go.

from REVERB 10 (I'm not sure I know what this is...){Future Tool: New Year’s Goal Questions for No-Goals Creatives from Jeffrey Davis. For the next 10 days as you round out your year, we’ll share one tool each day to help you plan your year ahead.}

Reverb 10 - Day 21: FUTURE SELF

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)

Dear Jean-

For 2011, remember how it feels to be truly alive. Remember to focus on the things that really matter and let go of the other stuff. Relax more, love more, laugh more, smile more. Tell stories, cherish family and friends, make art, read books, weep in the presence of beauty.

It's that simple. Stop making everything so hard. Just pretend it is easy, even when it doesn't feel like it.

Measure in Love-

Jean from December 2015

BONUS:

Dear Jean in December 2000-

It will all turn out. Trust yourself. Trust your skills and talents. Love yourself more.

Remember how it feels to be truly alive. Remember to focus on the things that really matter and let go of the other stuff. Relax more, love more, laugh more, smile more. Tell stories, cherish family and friends, make art, read books, weep in the presence of beauty.

It's that simple. Stop making everything so hard. Just pretend it is easy, even when it doesn't feel like it.

Measure in Love-

Jean in 2010

**I wish I could say I had already learned this lesson. I like to think that the 2015 version of what I will do is a bit more nuanced.  I guess reminders are always good.

Art Journal Every Day Project

Well, I tried the CREATIVE EVERY DAY project last year and I didn't do very well. This year, quite by chance and through the Reverb 10 challenge, I found an "Art Journal Every Day" challenge and I am going to try it.

Here is the badge which will end up in my sidebar:

I love that she mentions that she doesn't do a FINISHED page each day, but rather, spends at least 10 minutes per day adding something to a page. I like that. Small, measurable goals, right?  I just need something to kick start me, so I'm going to use this great opportunity.

Also, thanks to Pigtail Girl who had this posted in her sidebar.  I would never have known it existed without seeing the badge there. I've been reading her blog since I discovered it through Reverb 10. What a great way to find great blogs!

P.S. I accidentally linked the badge wrong earlier. If you click on the links now or the badge, you should be able to get where you want to go. Sorry about that.

Reverb 10 - Day 20: BEYOND AVOIDANCE

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

I'm sorry...I had to get up off the floor because I was laughing so hard about this post. Maybe I should commence listing the things I DID do, because that list is much, much shorter. Avoidance could be my middle name.

Here is the short list in no special order and without explanation:

• better car maintenance
• get rid of clutter in my life
• buy a new bed
• organize my bills and my invoicing system
• work on my art journals
• work on my Roby stories
• stayed in better contact with Shirlee and family
• stayed in better contact with friends
• insert exercise into each day
• read 30 minutes each day
• take a class each term to finish my degree
• take an art class each term (even if only for one day)
• taken the trip to London for the Les Miserables 25th Anniversary (3 shows in 3 days - the O2 Concert, original show at the Queen's theatre and the new version at the Barbican or maybe the other way around) **This is my biggest regret
• taken a trip to Sacramento to see my friends more
• trip to NYC
• Solitary vacation at the beach for a weekend
• purge books
• purge videos
• show more love and appreciation to the people in my life
• send Christmas card
• actually do the work in "Creative is a Verb" 

See...the list is LONG and incomplete.  I let myself be distracted and procrastinate. I did do some good things this year, but I didn't do more. :(  I'm making plans for 2011, though. Trying to keep it attainable.

Reverb 10 - Day 19: HEALING

December 19 – Healing What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leoni Allan)

Quite honestly, the thing that healed me was a sudden dunk into the frigid waters of reality. I was unceremoniously forced into dark, ice-cold waters without notice, without a life preserver or vest, without directions to shore. I learned to swim this year in the unknown, in the "real world".

I'm sorry if this sounds cryptic - I don't feel comfortable writing about the actual situation. What I CAN say is that I learned a lot about myself, about my strengths, about what I believe, about why I do what I do for a living and what I value. I take my responsibilities seriously and I also take my integrity seriously. I didn't want to let go of either of them and I didn't have to - but I had to make the decision on my own.

I guess what was healed were all the doubts I had about myself, my decisions, my abilities. I still have self-doubt and I still question myself, but it is more like checking in to make sure I have taken in all the information I need to follow through rather than the soul-deep angst that kept me up at night sometimes. I'm sleeping better now, I must say.

For 2011, I want to continue to improve my health, which I have been doing since the plunge - ironic that healing in one way happened, and the need to be healed was created almost simultaneously.  I am feeling better, but it takes time to be well, to pay attention to your body and the needs it has. I'm on the path. I am hoping to clear it more so that there aren't so many thorns on the way this coming year.  

Reverb 10 - Day 18: TRY

December 18 – Try What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

This year, I continued to work on my art journaling, but I didn't get far. I got blocked pretty quickly, which was disappointing for me. I think about it all the time. I look at blogs with Art Journaling, buy the "Art Journaling" magazine, buy the stuff to DO art journaling (magazines, paint, ephemera, paper). Finally, I found someone who gave tips and templates to start a newcomer.  I think I tried to start out in the doctorate level with Teesha Moore's style.  Of course, I love her style - it is so eclectic and busy and fascinating and bright.  It is exactly the kind of thing that attracted me to art journaling. Her videos are extremely helpful for learning her techniques and ideas. I also love the 16 page journals she makes.

I found Kelly Kilmer's online class A Life Made by Hand . Kelly's work is equally intriguing and colorful. She offers a class to get people started which is fantastic.    This class provides templates, ideas, examples, videos, and prompts for writing.  I love the idea of the templates to give some experience with trying out new things. I haven't done it yet, even though I paid for the class some time ago. I know my work won't look like hers, either, but she can help me make work that looks like my own and lead me through some ideas about how to compose, which is a weakness for me, I think.

In 2011, I want to try to finish the classes that I joined with Kelly Kilmer. I want to continue this practice of artful expression. It feels really important - soulfully important for balance, for self expression, for color, for everything.  I want to take a couple of live art classes and try going to the little store that is not far from my house called Art on a Lark. I'm a little shy, I think, about working where other people can see what I'm doing, but I have to get over that. I want to continue to learn and to grow my skills in these artful endeavors.