Weighing the Pros and Cons

I went to Costco today and I realized that I have 2 options:

1.  Go more often so that I eventually become immune to the pure insanity of the place and can move through the store without it making me crazy.

2. Accept that no "deal" is worth the frenzied parking lot, the swarming people with giant carts, the cement floor, the purely painful check out and need to keep your receipt out all the way to the door even when you have already returned your debit card to your wallet.

I don't know why this place makes me so crazy but I really, really, really don't want to go back.  Who really needs the lifetime supply of toilet paper all in one purchase anyway?

Adrenaline

I have long known that I am particularly sensitive to adrenaline and have learned to manage it in certain situations - for interpreting shows, presentations, etc.  Sometimes, though, you can't control the shot of adrenaline you are given.

This week I had an important meeting that I really wanted to go well (I think it did) and that creates a level of heightened adrenaline. I got through it, felt pretty good but also knew that I was somewhat exhausted from moving through that...

On Friday, we had a fire alarm with a true fire in the parking garage. A variety of features in our building (forced air in the elevator shaft, etc.) meant that the halls filled with smoke and the acrid smell of a car fire.  The alarms went off and BAM! More adrenaline for Jean.

Perhaps I am too serious, but I take my responsibilities seriously - ensuring that everyone is out of the building, staying safe, within communication range. I need to stay in touch with our other sites and keep everyone pretty calm, try to problem solve and make decisions and assume responsibility for those decisions.  I'm not afraid of any of that, but it is serious business for me.

Suffice to say that Friday night was a wash. I was in the office late to finish up my reports on the day's events and wrap up any loose ends.  I crashed while watching "Mirror, Mirror" on DVD.

You Leave for a Few Days...

I leave for a few days and Blogger goes and changes the world on me... I guess I knew it was coming...I'm hoping things will be easier to use on the new layout and new version. Change really is the only constant. This is the theme of my life and I need to learn it. I think, once I do, that I will just be able to roll with it...resisting it takes so much energy. Anyway, Rumpusers (for those of you still around), I am working my way back to the blog and to myself. This time away has been important and good and at the same time, I want to come back to my commitment to myself. I may never be the writer/creator that I want to be, but I have this little space in the world to write and be. That is a very good thing.

Love This

There is something really amazing about this song. I love the style of singing, the rhythm of the drums...

Soothing and Searching

Suddenly this summer, I rediscovered music. I'm not sure when or how or why my interest was sparked again. I am always into music, but generally, I listen to musical theatre and old stuff that I have had for a zillion years.  I'm pretty sure that "Glee" had something to do with it, but it is strange that it didn't really affect me until a few weeks ago instead of last year during the season.

I am discovering all kinds of music and people I'm surprised to be listening to - often, I don't know the name of the artist, but I'm enjoying the exploration.  On any given morning, rather than listening to politics, I am listening to my new-found radio station and rockin' on down the road.

Good clean fun!

Vacation 2012

Developing a habit is hard - I'm working on getting back here. I always knew that if I broke my streak of regular posting, it was gonna be hard to get back. I need some art and some other things to really get me back on track.

Here is what really got me off-target - VACATION. I really needed it this year.  In the photos below, if there is a black image protruding from the water, it is a whale. I saw probably 20-25 spouts a day and had a couple of opportunities to watch whales flirting with the boats and playing pretty close to the deck where I was staying.

Most days, it was sunny and beautiful, at least for the afternoon.  The mornings had some fog and low clouds, but it was beautiful then, too.

Memory Lane

I fell down the rabbit hole and found this video - early Lea Michele in "Ragtime" and a brilliant show, as well.

This is from the 1998 Tony Awards broadcast.

Glee-session

I love GLEE.  It is such a great blend of music and theatre and some fun...

Back in the Saddle - Almost

Well, I'm back from vacation and I must say that I didn't really realize how much I needed one. I was talking about it, but then I actually DID it and it was good. I still have a couple of days left, but I feel relaxed again and a bit reluctant to go back.  I think that is a good sign. :)

My goal is to get back to daily posting - I'm struggling to let it be (that I haven't posted in so long) because I KNEW that if I let go of the regular practice, I would drop off the grid for awhile.  My posting schedule is really just a commitment to myself - to keep it up, to keep noticing things, to keep commenting, to keep recording.  I felt like I couldn't find the enthusiasm to even choose a topic.  I feel like I'm back from that a little bit, so hopefully, I will get back into the swing of things for myself.

Looking forward to posting some vacation photos soon.

In the Nick of Time

This article struck me today and the video BLEW MY MIND. I needed that video really badly today.

Out of Words Temporarily

Hi Rumpusing Friends. I don't know why I'm out of words right now. I haven't left for good. I guess I just need to take a break.

This video moved me today. Enjoy.

My Mentor, My Friend

I found this video last night of my mentor and friend, Henry "Hank" Stack.  I owe so much to him that I will spend a lifetime trying to repay.  Hank has been gone now -I want to say it has been 10 years...

Here is a video of him talking about his life.  That voice you hear in the background?  That's me interpreting for him.  I don't think he would mind if I said it now.

Catch Up Later

I have days and days to catch up on...I have photos, a show, a trip...lots and lots of days that I have started little tidbits and haven't finished them.

Now that I am through the latest show (final performance of "Jersey Boys"), I feel like I have some freedom and some time.

Thank you for your patience this summer - it has been busy and crazy.

Most importantly, Patti Digh's husband, John, has been diagnosed with cancer.  He is uninsured. If you have wisdom or if you can help support their family, please go here.

Returning to a better habit

Hi Friends (if you are still out there). I know I have been erratic lately. I think I lost some confidence/heart and have been feeling a little lost, so it's hard to talk about that stuff until you figure some of it out.

I'm so far from where I want to be, but knowing that is good - it means I can get on the path. Little things, big things. Just knowing that I want to be better, kinder, softer.  Knowing that the road there is a little rough, a little bit dangerous, doesn't make it any easier.

I'm still here. I hope you are, too, at least once in a while. :)  All are welcome.  Time to get back to some earnest Rumpusing.

Struggling with Self

I'm going through one of those weird phases where I wonder what I'm supposed to be doing and why I'm not doing it. There isn't much to really say except that in some ways, I feel like parts of me are disappearing or folding up into themselves and I'm not sure how to change that.  I have some ideas, but I'm not there yet.

Just a lot of deep thinking to do.  And I need to put it off...after the show. After the show.  (How many times have I said THAT over the last 20 years...?)

Social Media Barrier

I don't understand why people (television people) think the audience wants to sit and listen to them read random twitter and facebook posts during a broadcast. I mean, it is is bad enough that they have "Social Media Specialists" on some of the shows "The Voice", a couple of other reality/competition shows.  But when they start reading them on news casts, during entertainment news, etc., it is really ridiculous.

Obviously, I am not opposed to social media - I use it. I just think there is a time and place for it and I don't really want to PARTICIPATE in television shows. I don't keep my phone in my pocket. I don't use it while I'm sitting at home.  I don't get it. I just think there are times to turn it off.

I think I might be in a dwindling minority.

Back to Rehearsal

I gave myself some time off from the show, but now I have to get to work. I have some tweaks and some dialogue I'm working through for the second performance.

Here's a clip of "Jersey Boys" when they were on the Tony Awards:

Art Return

I am looking forward to bringing back the art to my world. I have been neglecting that for a long time. I think I got freaked out - I was trying all these new techniques and taking the courses and some of them moved so fast.  I don't think I'm the "move fast" kind of person - I really need to take the time to understand something new and to try it and practice.

I'm not necessarily going to photograph it all when I start back up again - that might take some of the pressure off (my own pressure, I know!).  I think that maybe I just need to allow myself to do "imperfect art projects" and accept that things aren't always going to turn out exactly how I want them to - my goal is to do the projects for the sake of doing them.  It isn't about the product necessarily - it really is about doing the creative work.

I can't wait!

Opening Ceremonies

I love LOVE love the Olympics. I'm not even partial to the Summer or Winter - I love them both.  I love the stories of the known and unknown athletes. I love that they are all there to represent their countries and to shine in front of the world. I love the "overcoming the odds" stories.  I tear up when they play our national anthem. Every time.

I just think there is power to spending 10 days (or whatever) paying attention to GOOD people doing GOOD things. Or giving the impression of being good people.  The energy and good will that is released when the world is attending to something so positive and powerful can only be good on the largest, grandest scale.  There are moments that are not so awe-inspiring, but they are not the moments we remember.

Purple Hydrangia

This is the other hydrangia in the yard.  It is beautiful and it has different pH around it (one side is close to a tree) and so you can see the deeper bluish purple and the more magenta color both on the same plant. I love that.