I realized a couple of days ago that I lost the thread of what I was doing here a little while ago. I think because I was trying so many things - the Next Chapter group (which I enjoyed and miss), the Artist's Way group, and a few other things. I have been doing the art journal and all kinds of stuff, but I feel like I started losing touch with the reason I started writing here...
I can't really put my finger on it, but I think I just got self-conscious. A couple of days ago, I couldn't think of anything to write and I realized that I was feeling a little bit mannered or coy or something. When I thought about it, I realized how absurd it is to feel shy or uncomfortable - um, hi! You are writing on the internet. If I felt shy or inhibited, maybe I should pick a less public place to write my thoughts.
That is one of the reasons I'm so excited to go to the workshop I talked about in yesterday's post. I want to write some of the stories of my life and my life with Roby. I have been looking at all these creative endeavors as the jumping off place, but really, that place is just here. I jumped off a long time ago and I just need to stick to it. All the other participation is fine but I just need to be brave enough to just tell myself the truth. Sometimes that is the hardest thing. (Not about anything in particular - just get back to it...)
On an entirely different note, I want to go on the record saying that I was totally wrong about Ashton Kucher. I really like him. He's not my new boyfriend, but I think he is really good. I think he must have a sweet, smart, marshmallowy inside.