Thursday, March 18, 2010

Introspection in the Spotlight

I realized a couple of days ago that I lost the thread of what I was doing here a little while ago. I think because I was trying so many things - the Next Chapter group (which I enjoyed and miss), the Artist's Way group, and a few other things.  I have been doing the art journal and all kinds of stuff, but I feel like I started losing touch with the reason I started writing here...

I can't really put my finger on it, but I think I just got self-conscious.  A couple of days ago, I couldn't think of anything to write and I realized that I was feeling a little bit mannered or coy or something.  When I thought about it, I realized how absurd it is to feel shy or uncomfortable - um, hi!  You are writing on the internet.  If I felt shy or inhibited, maybe I should pick a less public place to write my thoughts.

That is one of the reasons I'm so excited to go to the workshop I talked about in yesterday's post.  I want to write some of the stories of my life and my life with Roby.  I have been looking at all these creative endeavors as the jumping off place, but really, that place is just here.  I jumped off a long time ago and I just need to stick to it.  All the other participation is fine but I just need to be brave enough to just tell myself the truth.  Sometimes that is the hardest thing. (Not about anything in particular - just get back to it...)

On an entirely different note, I want to go on the record saying that I was totally wrong about Ashton Kucher. I really like him. He's not my new boyfriend, but I think he is really good.  I think he must have a sweet, smart, marshmallowy inside.

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