Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Needling Memories

When I was a little kid, I used to get horrible headaches that came on very suddenly, very violently and I would vomit pretty much until I either passed out or until I slipped into an exhausted sleep.  They started when I was a baby and over the years, I have been tested and prodded and poked in many different ways.   I would be playing or talking or whatever and suddenly turn white as a sheet and be sick as a dog for hours. As I got older, they lasted for a couple of days.

When I was 5 or so, I remember going to a bunch of doctor's appointments where they took brainwaves (that's what I remember them saying) and they put me on some kind of hard-core medicine that freaked my mother out because it turned her normal, active child into a little zombie without any personality.   And I still had the headaches.  I wasn't diagnosed with migraines until I was in high school...

At one of these appointments, a woman (who seemed like God's Great-Grandmother to me) was the person drawing blood.  Either she was blind or very, very clumsy and she poked my arm maybe 6-8 times and was very rough, grabbing my arm and yanking me around.  My mother, who was normally pretty compliant, finally made the woman leave and get someone else and thus began my life-long, near-phobia about needles.

I bring this up so that I can proudly announce that not only have I been poked by needles TWICE in the last week, but I did not even tell the nurses that I was a nervous needle patient. I decided to grow up and see if I could just get through it.  I did not cry, I did not flinch, I did not have to run away.  I did not like it, by any means, but I have conquered my fear (for now). Considering the last couple of weeks, when it would be easier to be phobic about EVERYTHING and curl up in a ball and sleep, I am proud of myself.

Note:  I typed up a lovely post - all the side notes and little comments and then Blogger had some kind of editing error, so you are all getting the truncated version because I get SO IRRITATED when that happens and I can never remember all the good parts...

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