Morning Experiment

For quite some time now (years, actually), I have been listening to a talk radio station when I drive to and from work. When I'm working on a show, I listen to the show, of course, but otherwise, I usually listen to politics. No, I'm not going to share my political perspectives or thoughts here.

When Roby first got sick, I remember hearing an ad for an Oprah episode with Marianne Williamson as the guest. At the time, I didn't know who she was - the ad just resonated with me. After that, I read her book, "A Woman's Worth" and I listened to a couple of her lectures. Some of those lectures helped me avoid panic and abject fear in those days.

So, fast forward to 2012. I've felt this underlying stress that comes from not taking a vacation and really *unplugging* for quite some time. A friend of mine started subscribing to Marianne Williamson's Facebook and hence, quotes from her keep popping up on my news feed. Last week, I decided that I would try listening to her lectures in the morning as I drive to work instead of listening to the news and politics and see if it helps at all.

I have only been doing this for a couple of days, but I have to say that I do think it makes a difference to start the day off with something positive and hopeful and thoughtful. Politics are important, especially in an election year, but I know that this will go on for months and months. For now, I have found a little bit of peace each day and I think it will change the trajectory of my mornings. Stay tuned! I will keep you posted on this topic.

Crazy, Stupid Love

I watched the movie "Crazy, Stupid Love" today. For some reason, I have been putting it off as one of those movies "I have to be in the mood to watch". I'm not sure why...I really like all the actors in it and it didn't seem to be too traumatic in themes, etc., but there you have it.

I actually really enjoyed it. This is the first movie that Ryan Gosling didn't creep me out (well, maybe some in the beginning...). I loved Steve Carell and Emma Stone, as well. She is turning out to be someone I will be looking out for. I think she makes some smart and unusual choices - I can't wait to see what else she is going to do.

Watching it today reminded me how much I enjoy movies. Sometimes, I forget. It's a little weird - I used to be so compelled to go to the movies, but there was such a dearth of good movies - well, maybe a dearth of movies that
looked good. Sometimes, the way they advertise stuff is a real turn-off and it turns out to be really good.

If you haven't seen it, I would recommend it. It is tender and sweet with some humor thrown in. Kind of "Dan in Real Life" kind of sweet...

Are there any movies that you have put off because you weren't in the mood only to discover that you really liked it?

Finding the Right Balance

I have a person in my life who is not there by choice and who has broken trust in many ways, with me and other important players in my life. When it is solely up to me, I don't choose to socialize with this person. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like it is up to me.

On this particular occasion, I decided to go because it seemed like a way to keep the peace. Then a Surprise! And then the realization of how much energy it would take to partake in this situation.

Tonight, five minutes away from my destination, I decided that it is ALWAYS up to me. I chose to be as friendly and social as I could be without faking it, but I also decided that I don't have to subject myself to SURPRISES! on the way or to people who put my personality up as an indictment for all to see. Sadly, I don't know that these people even know how much it hurts to be accused of things, to be labeled in negative ways, just to make them look better or to excuse the way they are in the world.

We all have our crosses to bear, but to actively and regularly put others down or on the defensive every time you are in each other's presence is really inappropriate and I'm not going to put myself on the docket willingly any more.

Da Pony Lion

A friend of mine sent me this video today which I am ashamed to say made me laugh until I cried. Normally, regular old cat videos make me laugh. After a long, strange week, I received this video and it made the day much better than it would have been otherwise.

My friend calls it "Da Pony Lion" because it was on German television and the first time he heard it, that was all he understood of the text.


Just wanted to share the laughs.

Jean

Bubbling Over

I can feel my emotional tiredness bubbling up at strange moments. Mostly, it happens when I am overstimulated (too much electronic and social media in my world - work and personal). I am finding myself taking adult time-outs. I just have to withdraw from things sometimes to regain perspective and to minimize stimulation levels.

I love networking, but I am realizing that I can only process so much and then I have to just stop.

I checked on my favorite beach place and they are basically booked into mid-June...I don't want to wait that long. I may have to find a secondary place to go for a couple of days or a weekend.  Just away and feeling the rhythms of the ocean will help.

Mentoring

I have been asked to work with an interpreter who is prepping for a national exam. What an honor and a challenge.  I'm looking forward to the inspiration of working with someone who is on that journey - I know it will make me long for interpreting work again, but it is oh, so worth it.

Tonight was the first night we worked together. Good conversation - I have a lot to think about.

I'm really a fortunate person.

Worry and Imagination

A friend of mine posted this and it so resonated with me, I had to post it here. It was from Tuyet Van Julie's Facebook page:

I have been pondering it since I saw it. Many thoughts are clicking into place for me...

Living with Intention

One of the things I have realized about my resistance to finishing projects is that it *is* resistance.  I have a lot of fear of success, fear of failure, fear of not knowing if I'm doing it "right", fear of doing it wrong, fear of not being liked, fear of being liked...you may have heard this before...

I know that when I was following along with VerbTribe (I'm still determined to get back with the program), I got scared. Scared that I would find out that something I believed about myself my whole life would be untrue (that I was meant to be a writer), scared that I WAS meant to be a writer (which means I've been doing it all wrong), that I'm supposed to be a writer and it is okay that I'm not just doing that all the time (will I suddenly become dissatisfied with my life?)...so I withdraw.

It is a pattern. I can see it. I'm hoping to start to peel the layers back and look at this pattern, start moving some of the pieces around and see what can happen from there.

Sending Healing Thoughts into the World

I have two friends who are seriously ill right now. One person is in the hospital and one person goes in for surgery to remove colon cancer this week.

Send as much love and healing as you can into the world for these folks or anyone you know who is facing serious health issues.  There but for the grace of God...

Musical Interlude

I had no idea that the Indigo Girls were on this Pink song. I love all three women...



Love Pink...I love her voice, her strength. Lovely.



Introduced to this song via Glee.



Pink reminded me of Kelly Clarkson. Love her, too.



Pretty sure I heard this either on Glee or on American Idol before I heard Kelly Clarkson sing it.

Bliss List

This week, my Bliss List is simple:

1.  I love Glee.
2.  I love reading.
3.  I'm glad it is Friday.
4.  Angry Birds on Facebook
5.  Kindness of my friends, both online and in person.

It was a long, strange week.

Be a Light

Okay, so I think the problem with photo uploading is my browser. I will be returning to normal content next week. For now, some other stuff to share. Thank you, as always, for visiting.

Farewell, Dick Clark

I'm still struggling with the photo upload in Blogger right now, so I don't have a photo of Dick Clark, but I did want to acknowledge his passing.  I wasn't a huge fan of "American Bandstand" growing up just because we lived in Germany in the early years when I might have grown a taste for it.  Later, when we moved back to the States, my sister watched it on Saturdays when I wanted to watch cartoons. It was a bone of contention - I didn't want to watch ANYTHING she wanted to watch. In my teen years, in the 1980s, I did watch "Bandstand" until "Friday Night Videos" came on.  So I do have to thank him for all the music I was introduced to back then.

But I did appreciate Dick Clark for all his work in television (particularly "$25,000 Pyramid", music awards shows and "New Year's Rockin' Eve").  He seemed the last of a breed of gentlemen - hard working, kind, willing to share his knowledge, skills and experience.

I know his presence will be missed.  Farewell, Dick Clark.  Thanks for the memories.

No Shame, No Apologies

Well, okay, maybe a little...but I'm trying to get past it.

I went back to my VerbTribe group last night trying not to feel guilty or behind or embarrassed that I fell "behind".   There was love and openness and welcoming. I'm going to take that and battle the rest.  I am fighting some mighty demons with this writing stuff, so I need all the help I can get.

Thank you, Rumpusing Friends, for your support, too.  Kindness never goes to waste.

Taxes and "The Help"

I really must keep my receipts in order. I couldn't find my OPB donation - it would have helped a little. And I have to file a new W-4. If I did that, I wouldn't owe at all. Not that I owe too much. I just like for it to be taken before I ever see it.  All is well, though.

And now, I shall go read a chapter or two of "The Help". I thought I would read some other series and have a bunch of books in my Kindle line waiting. But then I saw "The Help" just sitting there. Waiting. I started the book back in October or November and I KNEW it would be good, but I stopped reading. Now that I'm on a roll, I just have to keep myself plowing through whatever I can find that sparks my interest.  I'm so happy.  My brain feels like it is on a holiday when I'm reading.  Lovely.

Returning to the Fold

I spent much of the day today trying to gather the information for all the VerbTribe activities I have missed in the last days...I gathered them all, made a plan and am ready to go.  I will never be perfect, much as my brain thinks I want to be. I'm not even close to possibly being perfect at any point EVER.  I know it. I'm really okay with it. I just have to face it pretty regularly.

I'm excited to get my behind in gear and scared, too.  Showing your soul is not easy, you know.

"Mockingjay" Complete - Onward!

I finished "Mockingjay" today.  It is the last book in "The Hunger Games" trilogy.  It was a little bit harder to get into this one, but it was totally worth it.  I sort of look at all 3 books as one and this one was one of the lull parts in the middle. :)

Now, I have to figure out what I'm going to read next. And catch up on VerbTribe.  I've been procrastinating. That's never a good sign.  I think I have been avoiding some "real" stuff.

Photo issues again

I don't know why, but periodically, I am not able to upload photos of any kind to blogger. I don't understand the issue and it seems pretty random.  I guess I should look into it more...or try the new, updated Blogger interface.  I hate when things change for no reason. Sometimes, the way it is is just fine, thank you very much.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Don't Feed the...

This was posted on my Facebook and I thought it was perfect for me. I think I need a giant 8X10 foot poster on my wall. :)

Wrestling with Perfection

I am struggling to keep up with VerbTribe and mad at myself for it. And trying not to be mad at myself. It is a work in progress, right?

I sense discomfort and fear, so I have to face it and keep moving towards it.