Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Day 27: Egads! How Did I Get Here?

Where did the time go? Day 27 of 37? I can't even believe it!

I have swung on the pendulum of this experience today. I started the morning seeing an MSN story called "The New Narcissism" and while I did not read it, I was struck with the thought - "Who am I to be blogging? Who am I to be focusing on myself when there are so many worthy things in the world to be focused on? Why am I not more focused on Earth Day and helping people and... and...and..." I threw off judgement of myself pretty quickly, and proceeded to have a heck of a day with a few bright spots thrown in.

I laughed a bit today. I handled a situation I would normally have put off because it was hard. I asked for help. I spoke my truth in a respectful way. I went to see a less-than-perfect show with Roby's mom and step-dad and through their eyes, had a much better, enjoyable experience.

I want to be a person who stays in touch with her best friend's mother. That's who I wanted to be today. And I did it.

Although I have had doubts and criticisms of myself during this challenge (am I doing enough? too much? am I selfish? should I do something else? what if I don't figure it out? what if I'm on the wrong track?), I feel it with me daily. I feel like I'm more positive, having more fun, more open to other people (mostly) and to myself. I am thinking about good things and positive steps and ways that I can succeed at this. It is very exciting.

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