Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Day 26: Where I Stand Now

I think it is FASCINATING how this experience teeter-totters me weekly from feeling on top of the world to despairing at how far I have to go to get to being the person I want to be. I don't have to take a lunch to think about it. Every action, every word I say or think or feel reverberates through me.

Right now, I am struggling with a few connected issues. I am struggling to be heard and struggling with the restraint I feel I must use in speaking. I am in a position where I can't necessarily give people my full opinion or feel free to express myself fully. I'm a talker, a story-teller, and I find myself becoming quieter and more reserved about sharing my voice (except here). So, when I do speak, I sometimes feel discounted, invisible. I don't think it is personal - I think it is about other things. So why does it matter? Why am I feeling so frustrated when sometimes the most simple acknowledgement would alleviate some of this feeling.

I know I am being vague. It isn't just in one area of my life - it is in several. I don't know what this is all leading to...I think a discovery is on the way...I hope I can get there in the next 12 days. Not that this journey will be over then, but I would love for it to come within the confines of this 37 Day Challenge.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I sooo hear you and get what you're saying. Seems I'm traveling a simmilar road of late at work and home. And its giving me a stomach-ache ~ you know that worrying kind of ache. My body always seems to let my brain know when its not doing what's best for me.



Blog Widget by LinkWithin