A few years ago, I experienced an intense period of grief and struggled to get a foothold on myself and my life. It was difficult and I learned a lot about myself in the process. I felt like my life was covered in a dark grey film - it covered everything, muted everything. There were colors, emotions, joys, dreams, but they were all tinged with this grey film.
At one point, I had a health situation come up and I had to have surgery and was hospitalized for the first time in my life. During my recovery, I went to the beach with my family and some family friends. I was not well and not up for running around the coast. I mostly stayed at the beach house and slept and breathed in the coastal air. One one of the last days I was there, I was bored and I decided to venture out on my own for an hour or so. I ended up at the Seaside Factory Outlet stores in the Liz Claiborne store. I was looking at purses. My favorite color had been purple for years and purple was "in". I found a couple of purses - one with purple and little white flowers on it. As I was looking around, I spotted "THE ONE". A PINK purse unlike any purse I had ever had and PINK!!! I bought it, and the purple and white flowered one, too.
It took me a couple of weeks but then I started to carry the pink purse (I need to find that...). When I carried it, people who know me well would say things like, "I never would have imagined you with a pink purse like that...but...it suits you." I heard this over and over again. After a few months, I realized that something was stirring in me.
Pink became my color. I would see pink EVERYWHERE. Someone told me that pink had something to do with the heart chakra (when I looked it up, I think they were thinking of something else). What I knew was that this attraction (obsession??) with PINK, the brighter, the better, had to do with the stripping away of the grey film. PINK shows through the grey strong and clear before it is all gone.
Now, there are still strips of grey and days when the film seems to cover everything, but it is less often and I see the PINK in my world, in myself. I have a YELLOW car, another step in re-coloring my life after a long grey spell.
I know that this might sound weird to anyone who has not experienced something like this, but it is the truth. I was always attracted to bright, shiny, neon colors - I wanted everything to be fluorescent colored when I was a kid. I took a lot of heat for that as a kid and I buried a lot of those tendencies. Now, I love PINK and YELLOW (capitalized because of the brightness I mean when I write it) and I am proud of that. People in my world (work, home, relationships) know that I am "colorful" and they accept and embrace it in me. It is part of my charm. (See the pink Kitty Clock in a post from a couple of days ago).
So, stay tuned. Who knows what color I will be next. For now, I am tickled PINK.