Thursday, August 13, 2009

Second Sign of the Apocolypse

So, the first sign was the iPhone application for babies which I wrote about here.

The second Sign of the Apocolypse (now dubbed SOTA) is the atrocity that we call tv news.  It doesn't matter whether it is local or network.  I don't know why I still feel compelled to TRY to watch the news...I keep thinking I will get some information, and I never do.  I get so annoyed that I have to turn it off before the weather from STORM TEAM 2009 or HEATSTROKE 2009 or LEAVESWILL BLOW 2009.  Sometimes, the weather is watchable. Mostly, I don't even get there...

Case in point:  Tonight, in the Columbia River Gorge, searchers are looking for two hikers who called 911 because they were lost and had NO IDEA WHERE THEY ARE!!!  Shocking!! Lost people who DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!!  Now, it is August, after all, so we would think that they would be fine overnight because it isn't like it is January.  But tonight, it is a little chilly, according to SOTA reporter who then asks the weather person about the conditions for the lost hikers who have NO IDEA WHERE THEY ARE!!! The weather person replied (and I am NOT kidding), "Well, they have hit the weather trifecta tonight.  A little bit of rain, a little bit of wind and a little bit chilly tonight."

OH NO!!  The lost hikers who have NO IDEA WHERE THEY ARE might get rained on in Oregon!!!  Whatever will they do?  And it might be windy, in the Gorge, where there are windsurfing competitions at least annually.  I'm stunned.  And it might be chilly tonight.  That is definitely the weather trifecta.  Yessiree, bob.  

I mean, good lord.  I don't really know how they say this crap with a straight face.  And I know it isn't probably as freaky here as it sounds when perfectly reasonable-looking human beings are saying things like "searchers are looking for some lost hikers who HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THEY ARE" in any kind of non Saturday Night Live way.  

Can't we say "Searchers are looking for two lost hikers in the Columbia River Gorge.  It is unclear what kind of supplies or equipment they have to protect them from the elements. Searchers hope to locate them as soon as possible."  It is simple. Let's convey our concern by not being ridiculous.

Second SOTA.  I'm just saying.

**P.S.  I hope the hikers are found soon.  My rant is about HOW things are reported.  I'm sure I will come up with another example soon. 


  1. No no, I get it. I hope the hikers are found soon too, but your description of news coverage was spot on and had me laughing out loud.

    Especially the weather!

  2. Ditto to Kavindra's comment.

    YOU, M. Jean, are BRILLIANT.



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