Deferred Dreams Revisited

I have wrapped a blanket of creativity around me and I am loving the smell and the color and the warmth of it.  The blanket has led me to meet a bunch of amazing people in the cyberworld - some folks I have met, some who were already friends and some people I might never get to see in the flesh.  It is kind of amazing that such a simple thing - this blog- can lead to such an opening, blossoming of a life, a spirit.

I return again and again to the hot spot that came up for me during the first day of my "Live Your Wild and Precious Life Now!" telecourse - "I'm still alive."  I feel like so much of my spirit has been hibernating for years.  I don't regret it, I don't have any blame to lay anywhere.  It just is.  I put my creative life to sleep with some fairy dust and a hope that I could wake it up again someday.  I just didn't know how long it would take.

Roby and I were friends - alive and together - for 13 years.  This 13th year after his death has been the spring of my grief - green sprouts of Jean are popping up all over. The only hard part of this reawakening is that the scales are tipped wildly in the direction of this new-found life.  I want to write. I want to create. I want to connect.  My other life, my work in the world is made of a different material.  It is a little bit scratchier, a little bit thicker.  It is browner.  It doesn't fly in the wind the way I wish it would.