Food Memories...

So, since I have been struggling with this category, I thought I would change tactics a little bit.

When I was a kid, my father only liked "meat and potatoes" kinds of meals and "ethnic" food (food from other cultures) was not nearly as prevalent as it is now or as it is here in Portland. Even when we lived in Germany, we pretty much had American food or German food (sometimes Italian food with a German twist). My mother didn't really grow up eating food from other cultures, and spices were not at all what they are today.

My food experiences growing up were very plain - I don't like condiments, I don't really like many sauces, etc. So food was not that exciting for me. Unfortunately, it was also a source of conflict for me much of the time. If you ask my mom, she will say that when I was a baby I liked all kinds of things, but then as I grew older, I was influenced by textures. I have very specific textures that I don't like AT ALL and that really changed the kinds of food I would eat. This infuriated my father and fascinates other people. I find that regularly people STILL will ask me, "So, you don't like ketchup? mustard? mayo? relish? salad dressing? nothing? How can you live like that?" Ummm. Easily. I don't eat that. It is actually pretty healthy to not slather crap all over everything you eat. But it can also be boring. I remember my grandmother being frustrated that I didn't like chili and stuffing and pickles. Ew. In fact, my sister used to chase me with pickles and pickle juice on her hands because I hated them so much - the smell is VILE to me.

When we traveled to France for a day, I was about 7 years old. We just drove into France while we were on our way somewhere else and my dad tried to order sandwiches. His French was minimal so when the food came, I didn't want to eat it because it has some mayonaise looking kind of sauce on it. I didn't make a scene or scream or ask for something else, I just didn't want to eat it. This set my father off in a RAGE and he NEVER forgot that. Even a year before he died, whenever he would get mad at me for something, he would bring up that day. I know he was trying his best and was probably frustrated that his French abilities limited what he could order or ask for. I felt bad that he was so mad, but at the same time, I was just a little kid. It was always something that he used as a weapon against me.

Also, as a life-long migraine sufferer, I have some foods I don't eat any longer. When I was little, anything that seemed to have triggered a migraine was off the menu...the most recent off the list is Diet Coke. After 3 migraines hit in less than 2 months immediately after taking a drink of Diet Coke, I decided that was one thing I could eliminate. I have been migraine free for a year now, so I don't know if it was stress or the Diet Coke or a combination, but I'm not willing to take the chance. The best part of that decision was the increase in my water intake. Now, I can tell when I haven't had enough water in a day. It is only hard when I go on trips to places like Oakland (smile) where it is hard to even FIND water.

Anyway, just a few memories about food which may be slightly more interesting than stories about what I had for lunch.

Early Birthday Gift

I have been the interim manager for another worksite (hence my trips to Oakland). Somehow, they found out my birthday was coming and sent me a lovely and edible bouquet of pineapple, strawberries, grapes and some chocolate as a birthday/thank you gift. What a nice group of people!!

BookFest, Birthdays and Carrot Cake

So, the big news is that BookFest is this Sunday!!!! I'm stoked! Books, books, books! There are never enough books. We started in 1995 and now it is year 13 and we are celebrating on 7/13 (lucky 13) which is also the day before my birthday!!

Speaking of birthdays, I don't really even know why I still get all giddy about my birthday. It isn't like I'm anticipating getting a bicycle or a toy or a stereo or any of the things I was hoping for when I was a kid. Now, when people ask me what I want, I think of things like a trip to the beach, a nice dinner at my favorite restaurant, game night with friends. But I still get excited that it is my birthday. In fact, at work, we have what is called a "Floating Holiday" which can be used any day of the year, so I take my birthday as my holiday. I love that.

The one thing I know I want for my birthday is a piece of carrot cake. I have been craving carrot cake for a while now. Without raisins.

I don't know why these themes are so hard...

You would think that food would be an easy topic to cover, but nobody REALLY cares what you eat for lunch everyday. I think I imagined that I would start whipping up fabulous dishes with perfect pictures of the culinary delights.

Bah ahahahahahahahah!!!!

Mundane food stuff

I am such a creature of habit. Here is my non-exciting daily breakfast.

2 slices of Western Hazelnut bread toast, 3 sausage links, one glass of Calorie Countdown milk (although I was really resistant, I actually think this is much better than regular milk - colder and thinner...). Occasionally, I have a mocha frappucino. :)

Here's some pics (to add interest to this lame post):

Not feeling well

I worked a really long day today and came home to eat dinner at 9:30pm. I had some chicken which was ok, but I think I was just too tired to eat.

I wish I was a brilliant chef so that I could put fabulous recipes in my July Nablopomo, but alas, I am not.

Since I'm not really feeling that well, I'm going to call it a night. More tomorrow.

Back to the food...

It is really hard to find pictures of favorite foods that adequately represent the food you are actually talking about and it is also hard to think of foods that you love that actually have pictures of it...

I could not find things like "Turkey dinner" or "Mussamun curry with Chicken". They had the Thai with beef, but I don't like that. I think food is hard to photograph. I also didn't do a picture of peanut butter or corn, or greeen apples...I was trying to pick from a lot of different categories to see what it would look like to have favorite foods in a mosaic.

Enjoy.


1. Lemon Love_Affair, 2. Sweet Tasty Fruit, 3. coffee and chocolate mousse cake, 4. Buster's TEXAS STYLE BARBEQUE, 5. moroccan mint tea 1415.jpg, 6. Rindwurst mit Senf., 7. Weiner Schnitzel, 8. Whole wheat pancakes, 9. Spice World, 10. I have defeated General Tso, 11. little_delhi_papadam, 12. fried wonton, 13. Turkey Noodle Soup, 14. itty bitty wedding cheesecake, 15. Indian Spices #3, 16. Pot Stickers, 17. Avgolemono, 18. chicken vindaloo, 19. spaghetti and meatballs, 20. thai barbeque plate, 21. [ side street inn ], 22. Wienerschnitzel, 23. Untitled, 24. plain and chocolate overload peanut butter cookies, 25. My first strawberries of this season...

Purple Haze Mosaic

I know, I know. I'm at it again. I just love this process of putting photos together. I wish I could take beautiful photos but I never really learned how. But my mind is like a movie or a mosaic, putting shapes and colors and images together, so for right now, this suits me very well.



1. Purple Rain, 2. The Purple Moment (Part 3), 3. what's with the purple bags????, 4. purple haze, 5. a1510 Purple on Orange, 6. Purple Finches by Scott Evans, 7. APRIL SWAP purple n gween, 8. Purple Haze all in my Brain, 9. Deep Purple..., 10. Minimal purple, 11. Purple Lightning, 12. Bench_Purple, 13. Pink Party Balloons on Purple, 14. purple bangle, 15. deep purple, 16. i enviolet you, 17. The Purple Frog, 18. my purple doll shoes., 19. Untitled, 20. Purple Patch(work) , 21. Yellow,Purple & Blue, 22. Purple Eyes, 23. Purple rain, 24. Old chair, 25. one little punky monkey, 26. Purple pencils, 27. blueberry and milk, 28. What purple is all about, 29. choc mud with purple and mauve hues, 30. 28/30 "Purple tights," she said after some consideration "are rather more then just tights. I mean, tights in themselves are nothing out of the ordinary, but when they're purple, they say something. they seem to have their own opinion., 31. Purple M&Ms, 32. Wet eggplant, 33. purple button, 34. Violet Red?, 35. Purple, 36. Little Purple Flower Petal on a Fuzzy Green Leaf

Fourth of July Dinner - Not exactly Independence Day Fare

We decided to have Chinese food for dinner tonight - back home after my trip from Oakland. Ironically, I have not had any other kind of food in days...Chinese, Thai...oh, wait, Italian (if you can call it that) at the Oakland airport. I had bow tie pasta, marinara and meatballs. It wasn't bad. The pasta was cooked well, the sauce was tasty, the meatballs were good. It was better than the overcooked chicken strips, the shriveled french fries...you get the picture. I rounded it off with a banana and a green apple for dessert while I was on the plane.

I digress (I've been doing that a lot). So tonight, our choices are:

Mongolian Beef

General Tso's Chicken

Other favorites we didn't get (we are stuck in a rut...)

Kung Pao Chicken

Sesame Chicken

But the real star of the night will be a version of Strawberry Shortcake.

Strawberry shortcake is definitely an American staple. I don't think it is about food or fireworks or Blues music or going to picnic all day with jillions of other people. Patriotism is in the heart and in our beliefs.

Admission: I still tear up at a really good version of the National Anthem. Or "Taps". Or a dozen other patriotic songs. I can't help it. When I was in elementary school, we sang all the patriotic songs every day and we stood when the National Anthem was sung, hands on hearts. My dad was in the Air Force and it wasn't something I questioned as a young person.

As an adult, I don't always agree with our military actions (not going there right now, sorry), but I still believe that we are lucky to be in a country where I can say that and not get put in jail. I don't always know how to reconcile some of my experiences growing up and the beliefs that were instilled in me with the beliefs I have as an adult...they are often in direct opposition. I try to just accept that not everything makes sense. Some things just are.

I can say that I'm proud to be an American - I hope we can make up for some of what we have done in the name of "freedom". Regardless, we should celebrate the ideals of our nation and hope that we can regain our "beacon of hope" status someday.

Happy Fourth of July!

After a spate of visitors to this page from a google image search, I pulled the photos. My apologies for misusing them.

Missing my lemons

I love lemons - bright, fresh flavor. On salads, just plain...doesn't matter. That's what I have been missing on my trip. Weird, huh?

All Thai food is not created equal

Well, as I have already said, I am in Oakland this week.  I'm staying downtown and it is so odd to find that there aren't really any restaurants to note that are open past 7pm.  The last time I was here, I walked about a mile down to Jack London Square and had BBQ when I was looking for an Indian place.  There was an Indian restaurant right by my hotel last time, but when I went there, after 5pm mind you, the employees were there and sitting around eating and talking and when I tried to open the door, it was locked.  So, I looked for hours of operation and it said that they opened at 5:00pm, but it was 5:30pm and finally one of the guys came over, tapped his watch and shrugged.  I left.  I wasn't going to stand around and wait for them to open up whenever they felt like it.   Anyway, last night, I wandered in a different direction round about 7pm (the hotel I'm in only has a "breakfast restaurant"...I've never heard of that in a hotel, really. ) and I passed tons of little Chinese restaurants but all closed. Tons of little stores, all closed.  Finally, I went back to my hotel and ordered delivery Chinese.  It was totally random, out of the phone book.  Food was not bad, but not great.  What I was really missing, though was a beverage.  Everywhere I go, they have coke and pepsi and dr. pepper, but nothing without caffeine..   Anyway, I digress.  Tonight, after not having lunch, I decided that I would eat dinner at 5:30pm and come back to work afterwards.  One of the people where I work said there was a good Thai place about 3 blocks away.  I walked down there and had yellow curry chicken (they didn't have mussaman chicken...my favorite.  They had mussaman beef, but I didn't like that the last time I tried it.)  The sauce was tasty, but like soup and not very spicy.  The chicken was a mix of meat - not all breast.  The servers were very attentive and nice and the atmosphere and the decor was very nice.  I didn't love the food, though.   My first Thai love is in Vancouver, WA of all places.  It is the first place I ever had Thai food and LIKED it.  The first place I had Thai was a chain restaurant and the food was awful.  This little place in Vancouver is really good.  It is family owned by a great couple who are very kind and attentive.  The restaurant is simple but beautifully colored.  They know me by name and voice on the phone as we often order takeout from work.  This little gem is called Thai Terrace (when I get back on Blogger official, I will link them up).   There are a couple of other great Thai restaurants around Portland - my other favorite is in Downtown, near the MAX tracks on like 3rd and something..The first Thai food restaurant in Oregon, The House of Lapthong is pretty good, too, although, nothing can beat Thai Terrace's Massmun Curry with Chicken or their fabulous fried wontons.   Anyway, I am obviously missing home and my standby Thai place.  Will be back in Oregon on Thursday (very late). Looking forward to being home again.

Nablopomo badge

I'm still waiting for the Nablopomo badge for July. I'm sure it will be pretty cool.


Visit NaBloPoMo

July Nablopomo - FOOD

Food is going to be an interesting theme this month. I think a lot of people will be doing recipes and showing off their culinary skills, of which I have none.

I interpreted in a very renowned culinary school for at least 6 months and I learned A TON. It was quite an experience, really. I didn't think I would like it - when I started I kept thinking, "Why am I doing this? I don't cook. I barely like any of the foods they will cook in a school with a French cuisine focus..." But it was an incredible experience. I would interpret in cooking school again any day. The hardest part was that there were few signs for the concepts we were discussing, so we had to be creative and stay on our toes to remember all the signs we had set up with the person we worked with.

Anyway, I digress.

I'm not sure how food will really play into my Nablopomo experience this time. I'm excited to do it on Wild Rumpusing because I really want to get back into the habit of writing daily. I also really want to participate in the theme, so I'm gonna give it a whirl and try to really keep to the theme.

Wish me luck!

Another Brilliant 37Days Post...

I just fall in love everytime I go to this site...I love that she is willing to suspend disbelief and really allow her child to be creative and individual...

Go there and check it out..

http://37days.typepad.com/37days/2008/06/catalog-your-fa.html

I just wanted to remember this posting.

Remote posting from email

I read that I can post remotely from an email account, which would make life a lot easier when I'm travelling.  I'm going to Oakland this week, so I wanted to have a contingency plan in place before I leave. Oakland is a strange place.  The office is right downtown, so there is nothing really to do or see for about a mile.  Last time I was there, I walked down to a movie theatre and caught a viewing of "Iron Man" the day before it came out in Portland.  That was fun.  It was good to see a movie  with lots of other people reacting.  I really enjoyed that.  But the walk back home wasn't so fun...it was like 10:30pm and there were just a few places that I didn't really feel I wanted to be after dark when I wasn't really sure what was around.  Normally, I don't worry about that stuff.  It isn't like Oakland is that much scarier than NYC or even downtown Portland in the evening, except for the quality of the unknown.  Anyway, I'm going to stay at a different hotel this time because the place I stayed at last time had crappy AC and if its going to be hot, I won't get any sleep at all.  I hate the heat.  Plus, I know the air quality isn't great right now because of the fires that got started by electrical lightning last week.  So, I don't really want to sleep with the windows open like I did last time. So, let's see if this works or if it will be radio silence until I get back.  Every time I start Nablopomo, I have to go out of town like the next day.  Weird.

Flickr Exploration - color and stuff...

1. "And now," cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!", 2. 2 elephants bathing, crystal clear sea, white sand, wild jungle..., 3. Pink Sherbet Ultimate Colors Mosaic, 4. my favourite pink doll shoes, 5. My pink shoes, 6. Pink Candy Buffet, 7. New Pink Shoes, 8. special brownies, 9. Picture Frame, 10. Faith's birthday pink cupcakes!, 11. Making Mess Part Two, 12. wall of books, 13. Montreal Colors Pink, 14. Kathmandu Colors, 15. Orders Sorted, 16. Lilly, 17. Taj Mahal at sunset, 18. "The Price Of Freedom", 19. Young sâdhu, Allahabad. India 2007, 20. Rangoli, 21. PINK CANDIES, 22. Pink Shoe Cake, 23. Toji, 24. Padmanabhan - the king, 25. Giraffes at Sunset, Etosha Pan #3, 26. ganesha, remover of obstacles, 27. Taj Mahal, 28. Pink ~ suesue2, this is for you :), 29. Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Perfect Pink Cupcake, 30. Craft Room, 31. Pink Riding Shoes, 32. the rest of the pink doll shoes, 33. Hindu colours, 34. I can see you!, 35. "Timemachines", 36. a cupcake for Jan

I just liked the process of the photo meme from yesterday, so I continued on my exploration of colors and photos that caught my eye...It's funny how you just fall into a rabbit hole with these things. One thing leads to another and another. Fun. Enjoy the images.

Photo Meme - Flickr

1. Day 119 : SOTTS : I Will Be Your Ambulance If You Will Be My Accident, 2. Vindaloo, 3. IMG_3754, 4. vintage tea set with cupcake, 5. Gordon Ramsey, 6. lemon drop, 7. extraordinary symbols, 8. Two-toned chocolate peanut butter fudge, 9. Day 106 - I am a librarian, 10. Each war is different, each war is the same, 11. Confidence, Strength, Integrity…., 12. sunset

I didn't get tagged (I don't leave comments on blogs or anything so it's pretty hard to get tagged), but I like this meme, so I thought I would do it.

Here’s how it works . . .
• Answer each of the questions below.
• Surf over to Flickr (set up an account if you don’t have one–it’s quick and easy) and type your answers (one at a time) into the search bar.
• From the choice of pictures shown only on the front page, click on the one that moves you.
• Once the page with your picture opens, copy the URL.
• Surf over to the Mosaic Maker, set up your mosaic, and paste your URLs.
• Click “Create!”

1. What is your first name? Jean
2. What is your favorite food? Indian (vindaloo)
3. What High School did you attend? Aloha High School
4. What is your favorite color? Pink
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Gordon Ramsey
6. What is your favorite drink? Lemon Drop
7. Where would you go on your dream vacation? San Torini Island
8. What is your favorite desert? peanut butter fudge
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Author
10. What do you love most in life? Family
11. Choose one word to describe yourself. Integrity
12. What is your Flickr name? Wild Rumpus (I had to remove the ING because nothing matched at first).

Wild Rumpusing does Nablopomo for July

I haven't done Nablopomo (National Blog Posting Month) on Wild Rumpusing before. I did it on the other blog as an experiment for a couple of months. I'm not very good with the themes sometimes, but it is a motivator to write something every day.

The July theme for Nablopomo is FOOD. Should be interesting... I went to get the badge and it is not ready yet, but I will post it as soon as I can.

Food...hmmm.

And on a completely different note: Interpreted "Avenue Q" last night. We actually had some folks in the audience using the interpreters, which was really nice. Had a great time - the show is still really fresh for the actors, it seems, which always makes a difference. The audience was HOWLING at some of the antics. It was nice to do a show that was enjoyed so thoroughly and it was fun to do something light and funny.

MIA from Blogland

I keep thinking that I will have something brilliant to share if I just give myself some time, but I actually think that the more time I take away, the less I have to talk about. I know that I think about all kinds of stuff all day long and when I was blogging every day, at least I took the time to kind of simmer down and put something out there...It didn't always make sense, but I think it helped me gather my thoughts.

I know that Nablopomo was too much pressure to do a third month in a row. It wasn't the daily thing so much as the theme and how I never managed to keep to the theme everyday. I'm looking to see what the July theme is...my birthday month, so it might be cool to do another one for that...depends on the theme, though.

Anyway, not much to share. I saw a good movie called, "The Namesake" which I really liked. I love East Indian information, color schemes, people, etc. I liked it a lot. Made me miss my Dad.

"Avenue Q" Interpreted Show

Tomorrow night I get to see "Avenue Q" to prepare for the interpreted performance. I'm excited to do a show that is light and fun. There's some stuff that I don't love interpreting - I'm not great with graphic stuff sometimes, but it should be a good time.

Here's a YouTube clip from the 58th Tony Awards:

Working on the Weekend

I would like to have a job where I don't have to work on the weekends at someone else's will.

I would also like a job where I am only responsible for myself. I'm sure it is a little like an addiction - taking care of other people...I'm pretty sure I could kick the habit though.

"RENT" reprieve

I went online to see what I could see about the closing of "RENT" - who was there, how the show was, what the celebration was like...Lo and behold, they have extended the run. I should have known... They did the same thing when they were getting ready to close "Les Miserables". So, the new possible closing date is September 7, 2008. Now I have to go through the whole, "Should I go to see it one more time" angst all over again. I think I'm ok if I don't go, but I have to think about it.

The OBC will be on the Tony Awards tonight, in addition to the cast of "The Lion King". I don't know what the significance of that is - maybe just honoring some of the longer running shows? I can't wait to see the show, although "Xanadu" is up for best musical...since it got panned by the critics when it opened, I'm a little skeptical.

Anyway, that's where I am this Sunday. Father's Day. And I miss my dad.

BookFest 2008

HA!! We have planned BookFest 2008! I haven't really talked about it here before but I started a little blog specifically devoted to BookFest. I kind of petered out on it for some reason...I wanted to list all the books I have purchased by year, but I don't know that I can manage it. I definitely can list all of my BookFest Books, but I'm not always clear which year they are from. Hopefully, I will get back to it. I've been distracted...

So what is BookFest? You can read a little more about it here: http://jkbookfest.blogspot.com/

Basically, in 1995, just before I went back to school (and thus became a poor college student again), my friend Kevin and I went to Powell's and bemoaned the fact that we couldn't just live in Powell's (the greatest bookstore on the planet, really). We then hatched a plan to save $10 a month for a year and come back the following year and blow it all on books - guilt-free. We increased the amount incrementally until our 10 year anniversary's all time high of $50/month.

It is a nice way to reconnect every year. No matter what we are doing the rest of the year, we both know that we will meet for BookFest in June/July to wallow in books and enjoy each other's company. It's a great tradition.

"Blood Diamond", "RENT" Closing, etc.

First off, "RENT" closed on Broadway today. I haven't really taken that in at this point. I will take a look around the blogosphere tomorrow to see how it all went. I wish I could have been there.

Secondly, I just finished watching "Blood Diamond". Amazing movie - great actors. Heartbreaking. It makes me ashamed to be human, to be American, to be white, to be clueless. How can we live in a world where this is happening and we don't know about it while it is happening? I just don't understand how people can be so inhumane. But I liked that it talked about the fact that good people can do bad things and bad people can do good things. Are we what we do or are we more than that? Sigh. I have to think about this more.

I'm not doing well in the Blog365 situation...I'm going to cut myself a break since I started that practically the day I started blogging. I am doing pretty well, but I won't make the 365. Maybe next year...

Anyway, hello again.

What Kind of Soul am I?

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a great sense of humor and wit. You're always diplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

One of my all-time favorite music videos

Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch - Good Vibrations

My favorite Carrie Underwood song...

I'll Stand by You - Carrie Underwood (Idol Gives Back 2007)

Dead Poet's Society - part II

This is my other favorite part...you can see quotes from it on one of the other links I made on homestead.com...I'm not sure which...

carpe diem

Dead Poet's Society

I saw a clip of this on 37days.com and it made me remember how much I loved the movie and in particular the ending.

Dead Poet’s society – ending (inspired by 37 days)


I will be watching the movie in its entirety soon.

Holiday - from the Blond Ambition Tour

holiday – blonde ambition




I loved "Truth or Dare" so much. I loved seeing a strong woman - even if everyone called her a bitch. I thought it was amazing and bold and brilliant.

Daniel Beaty - Poet

I read about Daniel Beaty on a blog today and proceeded to go and watch some of his videos on YouTube (my most recent time-sucking habit).

What an amazing man! I can't believe I've never heard of him before...

Daniel Beaty – poet “Knock Knock”


Daniel Beaty – Emergence See

Letter to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on the 40th Anniversary of his Death

Dear Dr. King-

I am not African American and I cannot understand how it must feel to be judged and oppressed because of my skin color. Regardless of that, you have always been one of my heroes. You died when I was less than a year old, but I always felt your presence in the world from the time I was a child.

Today it has been 40 years since your assassination. I watched videos of your life and the last days and the years have not assuaged the grief that I feel for the loss of your life, the loss of the leader who could actually lead the United States to the next level. Your dream is still not a reality. Even as Barak Obama is running for the Democratic nomination for U.S. President, it is so obvious that we are not where we need to be. Poverty, oppression, racism and the disenfranchisement of black individuals and other minority people are still the norm. Some things have changed, but not enough.

As I sat at my computer today, listening to your voice speak prophetically that you had "been to the mountain top" and "seen the other side" that you "might not get there with you", I wept. Wept as if it was the first time you moved me so. It is not the first time. Nor the last.

In honor of your life, I am posting videos to commemorate your dream, your life, your great work and hope. It is difficult not to try to imagine what would be different in our world if you had not been taken from us.

In loving memory

Jean


"The Last Days of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (from MSNBC)



Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s last speech



Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr's "I have a Dream" speech from the March on Washington

A quote from Oprah Magazine

This quote is from an old issue of "O Magazine"...

"I have come to believe...that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood."

Audre Lorde

I believe this quote but I am still struggling with it because so often I do get bruised or misunderstood or both. I try to improve my communication skills at all times - can I be more clear? How can I convey this more effectively? Usually, I am too wordy. I realized a long time ago that the world's problems start with too many words.

I think "too many words" is really a good motto. If you look at how we talk to children, we get a glimpse into how people best learn - at their most primal, at their most basic (where we operate when we are tired or distracted...aren't we always tired and distracted? or is it just me?) Listen to how we talk to our young children - "No." "Good job." "Want a cookie?" "Stop it." "Come here." We believe that we all develop this complex listening system and yet, most people, if asked to do a multi-part task will only follow the first and maybe the second directive before they get distracted by something loud or shiny or just plain more interesting than trying to remember what the heck they were just doing...

Too many words.

April showers

When I get done with NaBloPoMo for March, I will come back to my first blog and pay more attention here. I have overcommitted with too many blogs. I really wanted to do NaBloPoMo though, so it was good. It got me into the habit of posting everyday and learning about how to post YouTube embeds, etc. It has been a good thing. I think I will return my efforts here to complete the Blog365 project on Wild Rumpusing.

More clips just because...

fergie big girls don’t cry


I just like it. I tried to resist. I really did. I remember her from "Kids Incorporated". Yikes.

From the sublime to the ridiculous...

Here are two videos I enjoyed tonight on YouTube. It has been a long week.

Madonna like a prayer


African alphabet song - Sesame Street

Tap Project - Help Unicef Provide Clean Drinking Water

INDIA: A woman and a girl draw water from a pump set up in a tent camp for people displaced by the tsunami in the seaside village of Mudtukadu. UNICEF/ HQ05-0491/Ami Vital

I heard about this on the radio (KPOJ 620 AM) on Air America. The Tap Project was in NYC last year for one night and raised $100,000 by charging patrons of restaurants $1 for a glass of tap water. The money goes to help provide clean drinking water to children and impoverished people all over the world. On the website, it says for every $1 earned, a child will have clean drinking water for 40 days.

On the radio this morning, they said the number of children who die each year because they do not have access to clean drinking water. It is the second leading cause of death for children under age 5 worldwide.

To find out more or to find out how to participate THIS WEEK, go to Tap Project.

I know that we take our water for granted in the United States and, I think, particularly in the Pacific Northwest. We consider our water to be pristine for the most part. And we are lucky. Since I started my 101 in 1001 project, I have been making sure I drink at least 64 ounces of water per day. I guess it has become such an important part of my commitment to myself recently that this really caught my ear.

Here is more information about water taken from the Tap Project website:

Tap Water Facts
The Situation
· More than 5,000 children are dying every day as a result of water-borne diseases
· For each dollar spent on water and sanitation projects, the projected return on investment is from $3 to $34
How UNICEF Helps
· UNICEF works to improve access to safe water and sanitation facilities in schools and communities, while promoting safe hygiene practices in more than 90 countries around the world
· More than 1.2 billion people gained access to improved drinking water between 1990 and 2004 through UNICEF's efforts, and about 1.2 billion gained access to improved sanitation facilities
· UNICEF's goal is to cut the number of people without sustainable access to safe water and basic sanitation in half by 2015

Another website Water for Life talks about a decade of work on the issue. Just remember, $1 for 40 days of clean water. Small price to pay.

BlogAffair - 37 Days

I am in love with a blog right now...

http://37days.typepad.com/37days/

First off, Patti (the author) writes brilliantly and about issues that make my heart hurt - racism, homophobia, women's issues. Her blog from a couple of days ago has a brilliant clip from YouTube with Tracy Chapman singing, "Fast Car" (see January 2008 post "Missing Roby").

I have looked at this blog before - down the rabbit hole I fall into when I am looking at blogs - but I never really took the time to look around and read.

Of particular interest to me today were the following:

Stop doing insignificant work in the world

Women wake us up - Tracy Chapman

I wish I could articulate what happened to me while I was reading her posts - I just felt my throat swell and my heart got that achy feeling when I know that there is something more in this world that we are all meant to do. I was inspired by this and I hope I can hold on to the thoughts that I had and the convictions that I have to be a better person, to try to build a better community and to teach by example.

Since I included her lyrics before, I wanted to add a clip of Tracy Chapman singing "Fast Car". And I added "Talking about a Revolution" for good measure. This is thanks to 37days. I used the embed feature so that people could watch the clips. Then I think they should go to her blog and read.

Tracy Chapman singing “Fast Car” video – from http://37days.typepad.com/37days/ and YouTube



Tracy Chapman – “Talking about a Revolution” 1988

Blog365 Check in

When I started on the Blog365 journey, I thought I would just be here on this blog, but it turns out that I have spread myself a little thin. I have one blog for my reading journey - although I have made little progress in that arena. I have another that I think is just different. I don't know why I have both, but for some reason, they seem to serve different purposes.

The other one is www.pinkmakesmehappydaily.blogspot.com. I wanted to do NaBloPoMo and so I started really posting over there on a daily basis. Luckily, when I read the rules for Blog365, it said that you don't have to post to one blog - just post daily. Early on, I missed a day or two, but I have tried to make up some of the days. I think I will be ok by the time I get to the end of the year.

Brief but Appealing

My Dad - David

Peeps Season

It's not easy being Pink.

I know it isn't Christmas anymore...

I found this great rendition of "Mary Did You Know?" by AI contestant David Archuleta. I liked it and at least now I will be able to find it again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQxi9UjqfKQ

I don't know how to post a YouTube Video here yet. I will learn.

Blogaholic in the making

I can't believe all this blogging was going on all this time and I never really knew anything about it. There are these giant rabbit-holes that you could spend all day in if you aren't careful. Blogs about books, movies, people, politics, crafts, the environment and every combination of every other topic I could imagine.

My eyes are blurry from all the peeking I did today into other people's worlds. It is a strange way to reinsert community into our lives, but I think it is working. I guess if we can't do it the old fashioned way, we have found another way to do it.

That's a good thing. right?

Leap Day

Today is Feb. 29, so it is officially leap day. I don't have much to say except that it has been a strange and exhausting week, but I'm in pretty good spirits. Kinda weird.

TGIF!

Give Heartfelt Thanks to Cats (from the Oregonian newspaper Saturday, Feb. 23, 2008)

Finally, the truth about cats and dogs.
Or if not the truth, a truth.
Well, according to one study, at least.
According to a study by researchers at the University of Minnesota, owning a cat (which 38.4 million U.S. households do) is good - very good- for your cardiovascular health.
A dog? Not so much.
People who did not own cats were found to be 30 percent to 40 percent more likely to die of cardiovascular disease than cat owners.
But dog owners had the same rate as non-owners.
Dr, Adnan Qureshi said the findings are not coincidence, but he told the Minneapolis Star Tribune "we don't understand completely."
Not a cat owner himself, he then added, "Maybe I should get one, though."

Out of town, Art and movies

I have been away and missing my blog. I didn't realize I would not have access to the internet the whole time I was gone, but I didn't. Funny how something just catches your fancy and then you miss it when you don't have it.

I have many things to write about which is nice. I don't have time to do it now, but I just wanted to start by reminding myself that I have a lot to say.

It's good to be home, too. Even though I enjoyed my visit with my friends, I'm glad to be home in my own space now.

Valentine's Day

This is the nicest Valentine's Day I have had in many years. Earlier this week, I remembered that my dad NEVER forgot to bring Valentine's gifts for Mom, my sister and I. I took it totally for granted and never appreciated it enough because I didn't know how rare that was...

Anyway, we had a nice cookie decorating spread at work, I have hearts that one of my co-workers sewed for me hung up around my computer and one of my friends in Cali sent me a cookie bouquet. And I made some cards for my peeps. :)

Here are some pictures:

Cards I made (individual photos follow):









My cookie bouquet:








Happy Valentine's Day.

Learning to Disengage

Without going into any details, I want to just talk about learning to disengage.

Since I was a kid, I have always been very passionate and probably loud and vocal about my feelings, my opinions and ideas. I don't think I'm always right...I just express myself with confidence. My mother says that I have a power that intimidates people. I don't mean to do that. I can't see that I am doing that while it is happening. I don't know how to stop that part of me except to try to be sensitive to other people. I think I am sensitive to other people - not 100% of the time, but I try.

Today, some stuff was happening at work and we had a meeting. I just expressed my frustrations and my ideas and then when it was all done, the moderator of the meeting basically said, "Well, you can be frustrated, but you can't show it to your people...we need for you to hold it in check..." I felt like it was specifically directed at me. I didn't express all of this to my people. I expressed it to my peers where I should be safe. After that, I started to second-guess myself and I sent an apology to the others - just a "thanks for putting up with me".

Now, looking back on it, I have a couple of feelings about this. One is that I didn't need to apologize. If someone had a problem with what I was saying, they should have said something. I guess the other thing that is bothering me is that I try to be helpful and supportive. I asked people if they had other ideas or suggestions and tried to elicit their responses and got none. I hate that my automatic reaction is to apologize for maybe possibly offending someone who didn't even say that they were bothered.

Every meeting I go to, whether in the workplace or with associations I've belonged to, I go into it telling myself, "Just be quiet. Just be quiet. Don't say anything. Stay out of it." And then I don't and I ALWAYS regret it.

I hate that.

I just wish I could disengage. I don't know how to be effective but dispassionate. I wish I could learn.

Jobs I wish I had right now

Librarian

Bookstore owner

Barista at a locally owned coffee shop

Editor

Writer

Critic (TV or Movies or theatre)

millionaire

artist colony resident

artist

Anything but what I am doing right now.

Isn't that sad?

Sigh.

Still Crappy

I still feel like hell. Some kind of stomach flu. Everything I eat feels like a rock in my stomach and I feel nauseous all day. Yay. Fun. Not.

Sweet Honey in the Rock

Last night I went to see Sweet Honey in the Rock. A whole group of my friends came to see them too.

Back in 1986, when I was first learning ASL, Roby and I used to drive to the beach on a weekly basis. One time, we drove to Cannon Beach (as usualy) and went shopping. This was back before Cannon Beach was as commercial as it is now - it was always popular with tourists, but it was a more artsy community.

As we were wandering, we went into Holland's Florist and there was a man there with a thick mustache and a twinkle in his eye. Roby bought some lobelia or something from him and stuck up a conversation (as he was wont to do). Eventually, Thomas (the flower shop guy) invited us to have dinner with him and his partner, John (whom we had not met). Of course, we went. As we were wrapping up dinner with Thomas and John, I noticed the beautiful music that was playing softly in the background. I asked Thomas who it was and he said, "Sweet Honey in the Rock, have you heard of them?" We said no and so Thomas played us a couple of songs. He told me that he had seen them in concert at Portland State University several times and that they usually came to Portland once a year. I was really enjoying them and the evening went on. Later, when one of them asked what I did, I told them that I was a student of American Sign Language and this brought us back to Sweet Honey. "Did you know they have an signer who travels with them? You should see them perform." This intrigued me because, at the time, I didn't really even know that interpreters DID that. I didn't know much about anything...

Years later, I had the opportunity to see Sweet Honey and after the show - I was with Judy Rose and she wanted to get her CD autographed- I met Shirley Childress Saxton. She asked me if there were any Deaf individuals at the show and I said no. She encouraged me to tell them to come. I knew she was right and at the same time, I didn't even know how to talk about a musical concert to my Deaf friends.

Again, a few years later...5 or 7 years later...I was talking to a friend of mine who is Deaf. I was trying to explain to him about Sweet Honey and telling him that he might really enjoy the interpreter with the show. He was somewhat resistant. I told him that I didn't know if there were any tickets left but that he should come to the Civic Auditorium and see. If there were tickets, I would buy him one. He showed up but the show was sold out. He was all prepared to leave when a woman came over to us, kind of out of nowhere and said, "Do you need an extra ticket? We had a friend who can't make it and I have an extra ticket if you want it." I couldn't believe it. I told the woman I would pay for it and she said, "No, my friend paid for it already but she can't come and told me to give it to someone who needs it." So, my friend came in, not knowing if he would be able to see the interpreter or not. As luck would have it, the free seat was on the side where the interpreter was and he fell in love. If I remember correctly, he said that Shirley wasn't interpreting music - she was telling him a story and he felt it to his core. He has seen every Sweet Honey concert since then, including last night.

Anyway, I loved the show. It is the perfect time to see them - an election coming, a war, recession on the way. Just listening to them made me weep. The music and the sense of peace and the thoughts they generated for me...It was really good.

I was sad that they didn't sing some of my favorites, but as I said last night, I'm kind of an old fart that way...I want to hear the old standbys. I guess I will just have to pull out my CDs and listen to it that way. They did sing, "When I Die", "Spiritual" and "We Who Believe in Freedom". All the other songs were newer. I enjoyed the show so much and their humor. It felt like a time long past in some ways.

And I saw Judy Rose there. She rocks.

"In the Land of Women"

While I have been miserable and staying at home, I have watched a lot of "Friends" episodes (Season 8 and 9) and then I finally decided to watch "In the Land of Women".

I saw an ad for it when it came out in theatres and I knew right away that it would be a movie that I liked, but for some reason, I never went to see it. When it finally came out on DVD, I bought it. I don't usually buy DVD before I've even seen it, but it has been known to happen. I was worried I would never remember it and then I wouldn't see it. I think I bought it 3-4 months ago, but it just sat in a pile and I never got around to it.

I REALLY liked everyone in it. First of all, Meg Ryan, who although she hasn't done a lot recently, is one of my favorites. I love her and she is a really good actress. Adam Brody was really good in this, as well. I have seen him before, but I don't know where. There was a little girl (about 8 or 9 years old) who was very funny and quirky and a teenage daughter that reminds me of Ali Larter from "Heroes" and other stuff.

I'm going to have to watch it again to be able to articulate what I liked so much about it. It was just a quiet, quirky movie about some people and what they learned from each other. It wasn't predictable, it didn't take the easy way out. Smartly written. No wonder it didn't make it big. People just don't like things that are normal and smart.

SICK

I have been sick for several days. Ick. Only eating crackers, broth and jello. For days. :( I'm feeling a little better now, but not great.

I will be adding several posts on different topics that have come up since last I posted so I can catch up a little bit.

Winds of Change

I have had my head down and my nose to the grindstone for so long now and suddenly, I feel like I don't want to just be about work anymore. Well, not like that's the choice I wanted to make. It was the hand I was dealt and I knew I could work it out if I paid attention.

Now, in the last couple of months, I feel like I'm walking out of this funk that I've been in for god knows how long. I feel like I'm more than just a manager or a worker or the person who will get the job done. Maybe this is what people mean when they talk about really coming into their own in their 40s. I just know who I am and what I can do and mostly, what I'm willing to do.

I want to do a lot of stuff right now that has nothing to do with work. In some ways, I almost feel guilty about it. I have spent so much time cultivating my career and my place in my work environment, and now, I have to live up to the standard that I set for myself. It ain't easy, that's for sure. I set the bar pretty high for myself. Not intentionally, but that's the result, anyway.

I guess that is what is bumping around in my head tonight as I get ready to head on home.

I actually accomplished something this weekend...

To see the work I did this weekend, go to http://www.signplay.com/. I finally had the time and the energy to update the front page and to do something for some of the shows this season. I have to really try to revamp the whole thing, but it takes time. When I was freelancing, I had more time to dink around on the computer, but now, it is just more time-consuming for me to try to keep up. I do feel really happy about updating the thing though.

I hope to take a class on how to build a website someday so that I can take SignPlay to the next level. It would be nice to have it be more professional-looking and more regularly updated. Big dreams, I know. But since it is a one-woman show, I guess I just keep plugging along.

Anyway, I am putting together a SignPlay page here so that I can keep up on my resume. I'm behind, so I thought I could build the text here first and then figure out what I want to do with the page later. I don't think anyone looks at it but me, but I like to have everything documented SOMEWHERE.

So, that's what I did yesterday...and laundry and dishes and...the usualy weekend fare.

Reno Pics - Finally

This one is Shari and Barbara at the 2007 Christmas party in Reno.
Christmas tree at the Reno 2007 party.

Mel and Rob at the Reno party.

Bobby, Shari and Barbara at the Reno party. Barbara got her hair done at the salon with me.

Mel and Jeff at the Reno party.

Bobby, me, Gordon and Barbara at the Reno Christmas party.

Me, Barbara and Shari at the Reno Christmas party.

Barbara and Shari at the Reno Christmas party.

"Fried Green Tomatoes"

I loved "Fried Green Tomatoes" from the minute I heard it was coming out. I had seen the book in Powell's many, many times, but I had never purchased it.

I saw the movie first. I think that is always the best way...Buddy's death was the first shock of the film...I had no idea where it was going but it painted such a beautiful picture of friendship and love, chosen family, community. I still weep when I watch it.

The chemistry between Mary Stuart Masterson and Mary Louise Parker is palpable. And, of course, it was another in a long line of films that started to prepare me for the inevitable. The scene when Idgy realizes Ruth is dead is so real to me. I could so relate to that kind of devestation and love.

When I read the book, I fell in love with it all over again - as it's own entity. They are both such stand-alone pieces. Later, Roby went to Florida and when he was in the airport, a woman finished it. He asked her how it was and she said it was the kind of book everyone should read. And then she gave it to him. He always intended to read it and pass it on. I don't think he ever completed it...

"My Life"

I have always watched movies about death and dying and they always portray the hero as brave and stoic. It isn't always that simple. I liked this movie because Michael Keaton was so scared and then he finally realized how to make things ok for himself.

I loved the idea of his toys hidden at the house where he had grown up. When we moved from Aurora to Wiesbaden, I was 6 and I tried to hide my toys so that I could come back for them. I thought we would be gone like the driving vacations we took in the summer. Little did I know we would never go back.

This movie came out within days of finding out about Roby's toxo and I went to see it 3-4 times in a week, then at least once a week until it was out of the theatres. I saw it at the Westgate late at night - like the 10:00pm shows, so there were usually only a couple of people in the theatre with me.

I think the first time I saw it, I bawled and bawled and I'm not even sure I saw the whole movie. I just needed a place to cry and not have people ask me too many questions. After the movie was over, I was still sobbing and a woman came to me and patted my on my shoulder and gave me a kleenex. She said, "I'm so sorry. It will be ok" and then she left. I can see that moment in my mind's eye so clearly. What compassion that woman had.

I don't think this movie was popular - movies about death never are...but it holds a place in my heart because it helped me through one of the hardest times of my life when I couldn't tell anyone what I was going through.

"Boys On the Side"

This movie came out within weeks of finding out that Roby had toxoplasmosis and was on medication. He had lost a lot of weight and I knew that this was the beginning of the end. When it came out, the ads didn't say that it was about AIDS - it just looked like a chick-flick road movie. I love Whoopi and Mary Louise Parker and I was happy to go see it to take my mind off of things.

Two of my co-workers invited me to see it one night after work and so we did.

Almost immediately, I realized something was not comedic about the movie and I started to cry about 10 minutes into the movie and didn't stop until about 15-20 minutes after it was over...I was crying so hard I was shaking. Wouldn't you know that I was seated between the two of them. I think I was trying not to make any noise when I wanted to SOB, so the intensity of my emotions went straight into my body and I just shook. I could tell that the two of them were very concerned when I couldn't stop crying after it was over. Finally, we went to our cars (one of them was with me) and went for a drink. I don't really even remember what lie I told to explain why I was so upset, but they took me at my word and didn't really question me much about it.

The scene that I could so relate to was when Whoopi revealed she had a crush on Mary Louise Parker's character and that it had been mutual. And the end...when the camera pans around the room that was so full of life in the last scene. Also, the scene in the garden the morning after Whoopi sets her up with a guy...the intensity of her feelings and her saying that pleasure and being with that guy just served to remind her that she had AIDS... That scene helped me understand Roby more...the times when he would just stop talking to me for a few weeks. I tried to figure out what I had done wrong. Later, when Roby was in the hospital, one night in the quiet of the late night, he told me that sometimes it was all he could do to be around me just because he knew that I knew. He said sometimes he just had to take a break and pretend that he didn't have HIV and that was when he would pick a fight with me or stop talking to me.

I wish they had Whoopi singing on the CD. But the soundtrack is great. I love "I'll Take You with Me" by Melissa Etheridge.

"Long Time Companion"

This movie is still one of the most heart-breaking movies I've ever seen. It was the first real AIDS movie since "An Early Frost". Roby and I went to see it at KOIN Center and I knew that it was almost all he could do to go and see it.

I have seen it many times since, but there are two scenes that are almost unwatchable to me now. One is the scene when Bruce Davidson's character is taking care of his lover and letting him go. The whole idea of this brilliant man being struck down in the prime of his life and strapped to a bed because of dimentia...and having to release someone, despite your own pain. Incredibly real. Devestating. The other scene that breaks my heart STILL is the last scene when they imagine a world where AIDS never was and all their friends are there and they embrace and everyone is young and full of life and beautiful instead of sick and tired and emotionally-drained and scared.

If this movie had been made now, maybe it would have gotten the recognition it deserved. I don't know. But Bruce Davidson was nominated for an Acadamy Award. That was a really big deal. And Kudos to Campbell Scott who was just starting to carve out a career for himself. What a brave thing to do. As for Dylan McDermott - this is always how I see him. Best part he ever took.

My own Meme - TV on DVD

The best thing about DVD is the plethora of old TV shows that have been released. Athough there are some notable absences (China Beach), there are some pretty amazing shows that I would never have seen without TV on DVD. Here are my favorites so far:

1. Friends/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2. ER
3. Little House on the Prarie
4. Roots
5. My So-Called Life
6. Joan of Arcadia
7. NYPD Blue
8. Wonder Woman
9. Pretender
10. Roseanne
11. The Cosby Show
12. Alias
13. Emergency!


Looking forward to:
1. China Beach
2. Life Goes On (Seasons with Chad Lowe and the AIDS story line)
3. Quantum Leap
4. Angel
5. Judging Amy
6. that show with Kyle ___________ who finds the newspaper on his doorstep and moves
through time
7. Fame
8. Queer As Folk
10. The Office

I know there are more, but I can't think of them right now...