Friday, December 10, 2010

Reverb 10 - Day 10: WISDOM

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

This year was tumultuous and challenging in ways that I was not expecting and I wasn't sure I had the right equipment to handle the curve balls I was thrown. Ultimately, I decided that I was going to ride the wave and be honest with people, that I was going to bring the level of my communication to a new level.

When you say "be honest", people often wonder what you were doing before if you weren't being honest. For me, I have wanted/expected/tried to protect people, to try to keep everyone calm and happy and blissfully ignorant of the chaos behind the scenes, to seem competent and confident. There is a point at which you cannot do that anymore and when it is in everyone's best interest to have the whole story and the ability to make decisions about things based on what they know. 

As for communication, I am just trying to tell my truth. Ask people for what I need, tell them when I don't understand, tell people how I feel and just overall try to be clear in my expectations. I don't think I am at the end of that road - I am working on it, trying to hone these skills.  Going from just trying to adapt to everyone and take all that work on and resenting it to trying to move both parties in the same direction takes a lot of work and a lot of skill. Sometimes I have the skill, sometimes I don't.

I feel good about my decision and how I have tried to implement it in my life. I am still a work in progress, but I feel more confident and it takes longer for my stress level to build to a crescendo, so it seems like it is working in my favor.

The other decision I made was to continue to try to infuse my life with the activities I love - most particularly reading, art, fun, returning to my writing.  I have had varying levels of success, but I keep trying. I have taken workshops and went to my writers' retreat this year to support that wish.  Even though it is still an effort to get it all in, I know that overall, I am happier when I am including these other things in my life. Anything that is expressive, colorful, fun adds to the spirit and enjoyment of days and I am all for that.   Art and artful pursuits also help me with the decision to ride the wave, to be honest, to communicate what I need. It just makes me a better, happier person.

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