December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)
Eliminating this is a life-time process, but I am getting better and better. Being real, staying true to myself is really the bottom line. I think we doubt ourselves more when we are going against the tide of who we really are.
2. Negative Self-Talk
This, too, is a life-long endeavor. When I start to hear those mean words and critical perspectives start spinning around in my brain, I have to take action. Even the smallest of positives can really turn things around. Every day is a choice to focus on the good or the bad. I am choosing the good. Sometimes I need to be reminded.
3. Toxic People
Ah, this is a difficult one. Sometimes, there are toxins and you aren't even aware of them. In the last year, I have seen some people leave my life. I was sad to end the relationship for whatever reason, but also surprised to see that sometimes, when they left, a toxin was removed, as well. Isn't it funny how we don't even know when we are drinking poison? What a life lesson! Some toxins are OBVIOUS but hard to escape for a variety of reasons.
4. Chaos/Extreme Stress
Change does not equal chaos.
I think I have always equated change with chaos. What I am learning is that I can be a change agent, I can manage change, I can accept change, I can even resist change. What I cannot do is continue to be blindsided by change. I cannot continue to allow sudden changes to rule my life. I can predict and forecast as much as possible to be ready for anything. I can prepare for the most likely scenarios and then start eliminating as I see the options begin to focus in a specific area.
Extreme stress is not normal.
A certain amount of stress is necessary to maintain a stimulating and interesting life. It challenges us, keeps our adrenaline flowing and our minds at the ready. Extreme stress is unnecessary and it is not normal. Physical manifestations of stress are not good and should not be tolerated. No job, no friend, nothing is worth sacrificing health (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual).
Since no one is perfect, perfectionism is setting myself up for failure. I don't like to fail. Rather than spending my time avoiding things I can't do perfectly, I am going to be spending my time learning to do things I want to do and need to do. I am going to be looking for ways to expand my horizons as far as interests, skills and abilities. I am going to continue to hone my craft (writing), to improve my skills (in interpreting) and explore creativity (art journals and art and photography) in an effort to enhance and enjoy my life. I have no time for perfectionism and the fear and anxiety that accompany it.
I have really cut back on my Starbucks consumption since my friend was let go from the company. It was the best thing for her - she was meant to do so much more, but it was a tough time for her. I go occasionally, but one person in my office goes regularly. Sometimes they offer to bring something back if I want it. I sometimes decline, but mostly I don't because I haven't been getting up early enough to eat breakfast. Isn't that stupid? I always feel better if I eat breakfast, so I just need to get up and then I won't have to spend my $6 on Starbucks stuff. Duh. It's not rocket science, Jean.
7. More stuff
I have enough stuff. I have tons of stuff. I have an issue with getting rid of much of it...I am working on that. In the meantime, I try not to collect more stuff. Useful things are good, but any item with the sole purpose of gathering dust is off the list this year.
8. More ways to waste time
I love the internet. I love my blog. I love being able to research anything, to watch videos of almost anything. I hate how much time I waste on it all. I will be working to limit my internet time, my Facebook time, my television time. I long for more face time with HUMANS and I long for more time to read, to do art, to just be in the world. This time has to come from somewhere, so it is going to come from the places where I spend the most time when I want to veg. I have to revisit the old school version of vegging - reading a book and listening to music, going to the park, going to the store, meeting a friend, going to the movies with a friend.
Well, my whole life would just be easier if I were a little more...flexible. A little less self-concious, a little less fearful. I was telling a friend tonight that I could imagine myself being a person who might die of embarrassment. Embarrassment is so painful to me it physically hurts. And I get embarrassed about stupid stuff sometimes. Someone told me that it is really narcissistic to think that things are about you and become embarrassed. I agree and disagree with this - it isn't so much that I think everything is about me. I just feel like sometimes, the pressure is too much. I pressure myself to perform (in all arenas- not just work or art or writing - ALL arenas) and when I don't, I am disappointed. It's hard to explain but I know what I mean.
10. More responsibilities/expectations
I think I have enough on my plate right now, thank you very much.
Life is now. This is not a dress rehearsal.
Most of these are in process now and have been for some time now. What I know is that by trying to eliminate these things, my life will be more well-rounded, happier, more expansive and more full of wonder and adventure. I can't wait to continue this journey on the clean slate of a new year.