December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)
This is a loaded question. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to write and I kept defaulting to the whole, "I want to make art...I don't have the space, I don't have enough time. I'm letting my perfectionism stand in the way..." That is part of it, but I knew in the pit of my stomach that was not what I wanted to write about.
I never realized until the last couple of years that there are lots of things I want to make. I want to make avgolemono soup and I want to make a journal from scratch - not just one out of paper, but one that has a cover and some heft to it. I want to finish one of my journals - with art and journaling and all. I want to make little doodads for the people in my life - just because. I want to make my life.
That's what all this is ultimately about - making a life. That process is never done - it is always in progress. I take no issue with that. What I am taking issue with these days is that I put a lot of roadblocks in front of life and the things that I want to do, the things that I want to make, the life I want to live. I don't necessarily believe that I have to stop working for the man to make the life I want - I have to prioritize, I have to be willing to sacrifice and make choices about what can really happen and what needs to be put on a back burner.
If I come down out of the clouds for a moment, I do have two specific things that I want to make that would be life goals achieved. I want to write Roby and Jean stories - I promised him I would. I want to publish something. For now, I have to keep writing. I'm not where I want to be yet - I haven't written anything in so long. The blog is part of my practice, but it is more of a drop-off point, not necessarily honed writing. I'm working my way there, but I haven't evolved that far yet.